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  • Angry and lonely

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Juby
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Wed Jan 30, 2019 7:42 am

    Angry and lonely

    Sat Feb 02, 2019 8:59 pm

    Hello!
    I've found out in the last week my husband has a gambling addiction. I am hurt and heartbroken by the lies. Also shocked and fearful of the future as the debt he has amounted now means the end of all of the hopes and dreams I had planned for.our family. We have two little kids. I am so angry at him I've barely spoke to him and can not muster any empathy because I feel so bad for myself and the children. I also can't talk to anyone because most people in my support circle will judge him harshly and I feel I need protect him from that. What is next? I feel like a *****. But also wild with anger and without dreams now. The debt is serious. He is seeing a counsellor Monday.. please let me know this will get better. I have no one to talk to.
    1 x
    sherpa09 (facilitator)
    Member
    Posts: 48
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:00 pm

    Re: Angry and lonely

    Sun Feb 03, 2019 11:24 am

    Hi Juby,

    Sherpa 09 here, (one of the moderators on the forum). Firstly, welcome to the gamblers help online forum. It sounds as though you're going through a difficult time at the moment, however its important to be mindful that you're not alone in this and with the right supports can assist you through this difficult time. Its great that you're husband is seeking counselling support. In terms of what's next from here, its about knowing what you in fact have control over, which is to provide the right information to your husband in his recovery and be present and supportive of your two children. I suggest you get in touch with gamblers help (1800 858 858) which would connect you with a trained gamblers help counselor over the phone, who may be able to unpack what might be going on for you right now in best supporting your husband and to further identify ways in best guiding him through recovery. I'd also recommend Gamblers help over the phone for your husband to contact, as it can be a great resource for him to begin setting strategies to control his gambling urges.

    We look forward to your future posts on the forum, you're doing so well in supporting your husband through this difficult time. Stay strong and feel free to contact gamblers help (1800 858 858) when you need, we're available 24/7.

    Regards,

    Sherpa09.
    2 x
    User avatar
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 373
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: Angry and lonely

    Thu Feb 14, 2019 10:02 am

    Hi @Juby,

    Hows this week going for you?

    I'm not sure if you've seen it but I just thought I would mention you might find some helpful info from our recent financial counsellor Q&A - she offers some really helpful ideas and resources on ways to protect your self, finances and assets if that's something that you're concerned about. There's also some great general info about financial counselling, which may be a helpful option for you at this time.

    I hope you're doing OK,

    Take care, BrittV - community manager.
    2 x
    MrsMum
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2019 4:15 pm

    Re: Angry and lonely

    Tue Feb 19, 2019 4:26 pm

    Hi juby
    I feel we are in a very similar boat... hubby has just come clean about his problem.... yet every day I am uncovering more and more debt.... I cant believe he has managed to do this to our family. We have 3 kids 7,6 and 18 months.
    I honestly cant believe we have got here.. how I could believe all the lies that never really made sense....
    I too am now faced with a huge amount of debt that I dont know where to start. He has also been hiding my mail and bills so ontop of his gambling debts I have more bills that are impossible to pay. I have always prided myself of money management now I find myself worried I cant put food on the table or petrol in my car....
    Sorry no advice at all as I have only just started this "journey"
    He is outside trying to start his car to go to work... it clearly has no petrol... but I am dreading him coming to ask to use my car because I just have enough fuel to get me to/from work and get the kids.....
    Let me know if u have discovered anything useful. I am also feeling very angry and very lonely
    2 x

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