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  • Need help to stop

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    King45
    Junior Member
    Posts: 15
    Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:13 pm

    Need help to stop

    Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:28 pm

    New to this form
    I never gamble before and 3 years ago had diagnosed with severe depression
    And somehow find myself playing poker machine start with $5 end with addictive loosing in 3 years over 70k hard earning money
    Lie to my wife many times causing marriage to be on edge increasing depression and guilt to the roof
    Today first day to insist I have to stop that and build myself again

    I need your support everyday every time to overcome the urge it’s so strong I try many time no success

    Help me with your idea message comments anything could give me strength against that urge

    I destroy my savings completely I start now with nothing just I have a good job so please
    Stand beside me in that time
    1 x
    alexb93
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:45 pm

    Re: Need help to stop

    Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:51 pm

    At least you have a good job - I'm unemployed and have ***** myself gambling - it will take me years to make back what I've lost. If you're like me then if you have access to money then you'll gamble it, maybe you need to find a way to limit your access, although the only true solution to erase gambling from your brain and focus on other activities that make you happy. Maybe take up a sport or something. I hope we both get better. God bless.
    3 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 375
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Need help to stop

    Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:15 pm

    Hi king45,

    You have come to the right place for support, well done on coming here and trying to change your life.
    Everyone here can relate to one another, we may have different stories and circumstances, but we have a hell of a lot in common that is a result of our gambling addictions. We all know what you are going through and how hard it is to ignore those urges.

    I'm like Alex and I will blow whatever I have, down to the last cent!

    I also suffer from depression/anxiety and have for many years, and yes it's hard not to go gamble when life feels so pointless and hard to cope with. But one thing I know for sure is, the buzz from gambling only takes away that depression until you loose, then the depression is 10 fold, as you are back to being depressed but now are even more depressed because you have gambled and lost all your money and probably created a very hard situation for oneself!

    My advice to you would be to turn over control of all finances to your wife, I'm sorry but I personally feel there is no other way, I tried so many times on my own, just when I thought I was strong I blow everything I have.
    Have all your commitments come out of your account automatically. And let her take care of all money and she can give you a set amount of money every week for petrol or transport fares, lunches and miscellaneous or whatever or instead of cash an eftpos card, you can use it like a credit card, you just can't withdraw cash from it!
    Maybe you could have $150 per week as your budget, and she control the rest.

    Also by doing this she will know you are really wanting to get better and past this.

    Also perhaps seek counseling you can go to your doctor and they will refer you and you get 10 free physchologist sessions per year, on the other hand there are lots of free gambling counsellors who do one on one, wesley mission do both gambling counseling and do financial counseling if you need help getting on top of Bill's or negotiating with your banks they do it all for free on behalf of you.

    Or you could go to GA meetings, they are also very useful, but everyone has preferences.

    Take up a hobby.

    Things will only get worse if you continue and believe me they can always get worse even if you think you can't possibly go any lower!

    You said you have nothing now, picture this next pay if you dont gamble you will have a little more than nothing, the pay after even more, but keep gambling and you will always have nothing.
    In reality once you stop it wont take you long to get a bit of money, might not be what you had before, but it will be more than you have now!

    Just dont trust yourself with money for a while.
    All the best, always here for support and an ear!!
    Be strong, you can do it!!
    4 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 375
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Need help to stop

    Thu Jan 17, 2019 11:16 pm

    alexb93 wrote:
    Thu Jan 17, 2019 8:51 pm
    At least you have a good job - I'm unemployed and have ***** myself gambling - it will take me years to make back what I've lost. If you're like me then if you have access to money then you'll gamble it, maybe you need to find a way to limit your access, although the only true solution to erase gambling from your brain and focus on other activities that make you happy. Maybe take up a sport or something. I hope we both get better. God bless.
    Alex, if only we could get a hold of that memory erasing stick from men in black!!!
    2 x
    kaizen
    Junior Member
    Posts: 27
    Joined: Tue Nov 20, 2018 2:59 pm

    Re: Need help to stop

    Fri Jan 18, 2019 8:46 am

    Good on you for coming here King45, you have taken the first step to stopping gambling.
    I know depression can make it very, very hard to control urges as you spend all your energy just trying to keep out of the pit of depression.
    I was in a similar position to you not long ago, and probably still am to a large extent, with my gambling and hiding it hurting my relationship and the lost money hurting my family badly.
    I am now about 60 days gamble free and I am starting to feel like I am on my way to getting better. If I can do it you can too mate.
    Best of luck.
    3 x
    King45
    Junior Member
    Posts: 15
    Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:13 pm

    Re: Need help to stop

    Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:32 am

    Your support is amazing the idea is good I did try some in the past but still no success
    I’m with counseling for depression from 2 years 10 free every year can’t afford more than free one
    Today is second day first day was ok urge coming but I try hard until it’s gone

    Your posts guys is giving me strength as I feel I’m not alone and some people out there care about me think about me
    Still hiding everything from my wife she is on the edge if she found I quit only yesterday she will leave the house

    So much pressure on me fighting urge and keep secret for marriage to continue thanks for support please keep your support it does give me strength
    5 x
    King45
    Junior Member
    Posts: 15
    Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:13 pm

    Re: Need help to stop

    Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:41 am

    Alex b93

    So sorry to hear you don’t have work and you lost all in gambling but you can do it look for work any work start over never too late we all together can help each other to win that fight it’s war for freedom go look for work anywhere Facebook have lots asking for people to work different jobs you can have licence work security man. Fight with us to win this war for freedom
    1 x
    King45
    Junior Member
    Posts: 15
    Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:13 pm

    Re: Need help to stop

    Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:47 am

    kaizen wrote:
    Fri Jan 18, 2019 8:46 am
    Good on you for coming here King45, you have taken the first step to stopping gambling.
    I know depression can make it very, very hard to control urges as you spend all your energy just trying to keep out of the pit of depression.
    I was in a similar position to you not long ago, and probably still am to a large extent, with my gambling and hiding it hurting my relationship and the lost money hurting my family badly.
    I am now about 60 days gamble free and I am starting to feel like I am on my way to getting better. If I can do it you can too mate.
    Best of luck.
    Thanks for your support it’s amazing 60 days it’s dream for me keep posting give me idea strength you are awesome I hope I can reach 60 days free gambling no relapse
    3 x
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 375
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Need help to stop

    Sat Jan 19, 2019 12:22 am

    King45 wrote:
    Fri Jan 18, 2019 9:32 am
    Your support is amazing the idea is good I did try some in the past but still no success
    I’m with counseling for depression from 2 years 10 free every year can’t afford more than free one
    Today is second day first day was ok urge coming but I try hard until it’s gone

    Your posts guys is giving me strength as I feel I’m not alone and some people out there care about me think about me
    Still hiding everything from my wife she is on the edge if she found I quit only yesterday she will leave the house

    So much pressure on me fighting urge and keep secret for marriage to continue thanks for support please keep your support it does give me strength
    If you don't want your wife to find out you have only just stopped, do you have someone else you can trust to help with your finances??
    Though prob better to come clean with her, she may be okay if you give her full control of the money.

    Yes I know it's only 10 free sessions per year.
    The year has only just started so you would get another 10 sessions now.
    Also Wesley mission offer gambling counseling, I know you probably have other issues unrelated to gambling, but I'm guessing your gambling is exasberating your depression. I know that was the case with me.

    So perhaps also look into gambling counseling too.
    Even if you spaced them out, like I did at one stage.
    Perhaps go to a gambling counselor each week or each fortnight and use the physchologist session once every 3 weeks or once a month.

    Also maybe give GA meetings a go, some people swear by them, I found them very helpful in that you realize just how many people are in the same boat, you feel comfortable expressing your story with these people, I think sometimes that's what we need a safe place to vent and get stuff off our chests.

    Going to the gym and having a hard workout is also great for mental health, I know when I go to gym my mental health is so good and my depression/anxiety diminishes.

    And yes even coming onto this forum reading everyones posts is a great help.
    Well done on day 2!!! Keep it up. 😊
    2 x
    King45
    Junior Member
    Posts: 15
    Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:13 pm

    Re: Need help to stop

    Sun Jan 20, 2019 4:17 am


    Day 3 free gambling today urge was moderated I keep avoid thinking about I was watching you tube video about trading forex all of the sudden video appear about slot machine big win with 10 dollars hit I closed. Quick it start to put my urge back today much better still fighting for my freedom I will fight this time with all my energy
    1 x

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