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  • The battle

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Mik876
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 4:07 pm

    The battle

    Sat Oct 10, 2020 8:52 am

    In the past 11 days I’ve had three bets in one session, a grand total of $35 gambled.

    I’m annoyed that I put those bets on, but also kinda happy that I was able to quell the urges that come after me every day. Stopping at a shopping centre to grab some milk, walking past a TAB was all it took for me to relieve myself of some cash.

    Five minutes after I left the TAB, I listened on my car radio to my first bet lose. The feeling of being a loser yet again swept over me and I almost threw the remaining tickets out of my car window, but I knew I’d go searching for the result later and kicking myself if they won.

    I’m now in the situation where I have a winning ticket in my wallet. It’s been in there for a week now. Trying my best to stay away from a TAB.

    Saturday’s are the hardest day for me. I know there’s good horse racing on today, football finals are on, it’s difficult to escape the news reports, bookmaker advertising, social media....

    Weeks ago I could have easily churned through $500 per week on bets. I’ve spent $35 in almost a fortnight. A part of my brain says that Im justified in spending a few hundred today because I’ve been good. I’m actively encouraging the other part of my brain that is screaming at me “DO NOT GIVE YOUR MONEY TO THESE BASTARDS, YOU WONT WIN, YOU’LL JUST END UP BEING PISSED OFF WITH THE WORLD AGAIN”.

    Move along Saturday. I don’t want you.



    ***First post 28 September 2020***

    Hello,

    Another newbie here keen to reach out.

    I’ve gambled off and on all of my adult life (more on than off). I hate to think about how much money I have lost over the past 25 years, it would have to be somewhere around $100k. I’m lucky though; I’m not in debt, have no credit cards, I’ve stayed within my financial limits. I have gambled away most money on sports; you name it I would have bet on it. I would also bet on horse racing too. All of that is coming to a close as I’m now at the end of my tether with gambling.

    I hate how it alters my mood. I mostly lose money, so when I do I get pissed off with the world. I’ve been good at hiding my mood swings over the years but lately I can feel deep down inside that I’m a depressive, negative, insipid person after a losing day. I hate that gambling does that to me.

    I hate how gambling has ruined the simple act of watching sport and enjoying the contest before me. Lately I don’t really watch the game, I’m more watching the clock and trying to determine point spreads and totals so I can call up and lose a few more hundred dollars. I remember when I was a kid watching and loving the game, not the punt.
    I hate that gambling took that away from me.

    I hate how gambling has diverted my attention from family, friends, work, relaxation. After a losing day I’ll be up at all hours of the night researching Bulgarian second division soccer looking for a “certain” winner, and then wake the next day to see the bottom placed team has rolled the undefeated title contenders in a massive boilover. Hours I could have spent being more connected with family, or resting, taken by the punt.
    I hate that gambling takes that away from me.

    I’m going to try my best to get rid of this addiction. It hasn’t cost me any relationships, or financial meltdowns, but I’m getting real with myself, I’m addicted. I’ve arrived at this website after shutting down my betting apps. The responsible gambling links within the app sent me this way. I’m glad I’ve arrived.

    This is going to be a dogfight......
    1 x
    HelpfulBee
    Moderator
    Posts: 56
    Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:15 pm

    Re: The battle

    Sat Oct 10, 2020 12:55 pm

    Hey @Mik876 !

    Look at you go!! You've made tremendous progress in the last 11 days!

    I think it's such an accomplishment to be able to identify those thoughts in your head that are telling you 'Go on, you've been good' and then to be able to also answer them with 'NOOO DO NOT GIVE YOUR MONEY TO THEM - YOU'LL FEEL BAD AGAIN." It suggests to me that you're super aware of how it will feel again if you begin gambling again, and you don't want to feel like that again. This is all huge! Well done!

    So, how are you going to spend your day instead? Are the more exciting ways to spend this extra money that you have? How are you going to celebrate this achievement? :)
    0 x

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