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  • Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Big M
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2019 11:51 pm

    Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Sun Jan 13, 2019 12:29 am

    Hi all,

    I have never posted on this website before but after reading others experiences I felt the urge to share mine.

    Decided to make a commitment to cease gambling before I lose everything. Though it could be argued I have already lost everything.

    Had a really tough Christmas not being able to buy gifts for family. Blew all my wages again. The worst part was I got my wages of $2500 before Christmas and had budgeted to pay bills and keep aside money for gifts. Well after work before catching the train home I thought I’d just try with $100 on the TAB betting app, hopefully hit a winner and have an extra $500 or so to finally give my family some nice things.

    Anyway my plan to bet only $100 was subconsciously dependent on me hitting a winner first up. Deep down I knew if I had lost, I would be fighting to win back that lost money. Loss after loss and I’m now $1500 down. Start getting desperate and placing $200 bets on rank outsiders at $30-1 odds in hope. Hit a winner. $200 on a greyhound paying $15. $3000! I’m up for once $1500! I figure I’ll bet for $500 and still have $2500 to withdraw ($1000 profit). $100 a bet, 4 bets down and I’ve only got $100 of my allotted $500 to play with. I decide to back a greyhound paying $8. I try to submit the bet and I miss the cut off by seconds. The greyhound wins. I just missed out on $800 due to network congestion on my phone. Literally ripped my stomach inside out. This triggered me for some stupid reason to keep betting til I hit a winner, maybe the rush? Well $2500 disappears. Again I’m $1500 down. Soon to become $2500 down as I gamble away a further $1000 of my wage. I’ve literally gambled my entire pay before Christmas.

    It’s now dark and I realise I’ve been sitting on this bench outside the train station gambling for 3 hours. I walk to the train station an empty empty sole. What has just happened?? I literally search for coins to put together to be able to get a soft drink, but I’m short 40 cents. I was $1500 ahead, now I’m $2500 down and don’t have enough money for a drink.

    I get home, not knowing how to explain I have no gifts or money for bills. I’ve hidden my gambling and finances/debts by constantly reborrowing, but my credit is now shot. I’ve got no where to turn. I don’t want to give my family a Christmas worry about my gambling addiction. I call my brother and tell him what I have done tonight. What I have been doing for 15 years. Worked so hard, nothing to show for it but more debt. Isolated myself from friends. Stacked on weight and bad health.

    Can’t do it anymore, I look online for tangible ways of getting help, not my usual empty commitments that lead to relapse. I no longer have control of my finances. I will wor hard and finally see my money used to better myself and my family.

    Sorry for the long post. I truly wish everyone success from this cruel cruel addiction. 15 years gone, but if I don’t start correcting things today in 5 years I’ll wish I had started 5 years ago. Has to start somewhere.

    I beg the universe to allow me to rid this addiction.
    4 x
    dragon007 (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 173
    Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2018 10:07 am

    Re: Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Sun Jan 13, 2019 10:41 am

    Hi Big M

    Thank you for having the courage to share your story, it takes a lot of strength and guts.
    At the early stages of recovery from gambling it is important to make it as hard as possible to gamble, put up as many barriers you can to help you not to gamble.

    Strategies you can try:
    1. set up automatic payments to pay for all your bills - utilities, insurance, rent, loans, grocery cards, etc, pay for petrol ASAP. The less cash you have, the less temptation, the less you can lose.
    2. get rid of any credit cards.
    3. delete all gambling accounts on your devices and install banning software.
    4. Online Gambling Blocking Software
    Below are links to three sellers of blocking software; there may be others apart those listed.

    Gamblock software This is a link to licensed software that blocks access to online gambling; software for Windows, Apple iphones and ipad, android and Samsung devices. http://www.gamblock.com/index.html

    Betfilter software This is a link to licensed software that blocks gambling sites and applications; software for Mac, Windows, Android phones and tablets and Apple iphones and ipads.
    https://www.betfilter.com/

    Gamban software This is a link to licensed software that blocks access to online gambling; software for iOS, Android, Windows and Mac OS X
    https://gamban.com/
    5. Join 100 day challenge.
    6. join a support group - Gamblers Anonymous, Smart Recovery Australia.
    7. speak to a Financial Counsellor - National Debt Helpline - 1800 007 007
    8. speak to a Telephone Counsellor on Gambling Helpline - 1800 858 858 it is a 24/7 telephone counselling service, it is confidential and anonymous. Because it is 24/7, we can help you get through any though times you are feeling at the moment, help try to get you past that urge to gamble.
    9. create your own First Aid Kit to help you take your mind away from gambling thoughts and urges. Use your senses - listen to music, watch your favourite movie or cat youtube video, smell something nice, eat some nice food or drink, move - exercise, walk, dance; get a massage, call Gambling Helpline, do anything get your mind off the gambling thought, don't try wrestling with it, it is exhausting, best to leave it alone, don't give it any energy by engaging with it.
    10. see a face to face counsellor and talk about your motivations for gambling - (financial, boredom, stress relief, loneliness, excitement, entertainment, etc) and find ways to replace what gambling does for you.
    11. and throw everything at it, sometimes one strategy may or may not work, so the more strategies you have in place, the better chance you will have to get through the moment.

    I hope this helps, keep trying, be nice to yourself and be patient, it takes time.

    Regards
    dragon007
    1 x
    Baccaratmyass
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sun Jan 13, 2019 10:38 am

    Re: Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Sun Jan 13, 2019 11:01 am

    the last sentence you beg for the universe really touched my heart.... We will find a way out somedays.... good luck my friend
    2 x
    clearthatmind
    Junior Member
    Posts: 23
    Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2018 10:26 am

    Re: Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Sun Jan 13, 2019 6:48 pm

    Hey Big M. I'm just responding to your story to at least say that you are not alone my friend, and you probably already know that and that's great. What I also want to say is that your experience the other day regarding not being able to get your bet through in the nick of time (and that you would have won) mate I can sympathise greatly with. It just seems sometimes that the world is against you when you are chasing. I don't know, maybe a good bit of Cognitive behavioural therapy might challenge my somewhat distorted belief there. I can be here all night discussing this subject. Mate, just try and forgive yourself and use this forum as much as you can. You might want to try a few suggestions. You never know what may work for you. Personally, after a gambling binge in which I normally lose, it takes at least 2 days for my bruised brain to heal for me to move on to being able to function. How do you go with that?

    Grant
    2 x
    Trust in Jehovah with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways take notice of him, and he will make your paths straight...Proverbs 3:5, 6
    How the F did I get here
    Senior Member
    Posts: 248
    Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

    Re: Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Mon Jan 14, 2019 12:00 am

    Hey Big M,

    Sounds like me, but I'm the pokies. That up and down yo, yo.
    Up so much then scrambling around for coins. It's a joke!! Its just bloody madness! I'm 20 years of this nightmare.
    Anyway all the best in your journey. I have no real advice, but here for support. Good luck you can do it!!!
    I last gambled a few days after xmas but have just started my tracker from New years day! So I'm at day 13 today, also day 13 not smoking.
    2 x
    User avatar
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 309
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Tue Jan 15, 2019 6:47 am

    Hi Big M, well done for sharing your story and taking the steps to gain control!
    As you’ve already seen this is a great place to get support from others who’ve been where you are now.
    We believe you can do it!
    Looking forward to reading about your journey moving forward :);

    BrittV
    Community manager
    1 x
    sherpa09 (facilitator)
    Member
    Posts: 44
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 4:00 pm

    Re: Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Sun Jan 20, 2019 10:22 am

    dragon007 (facilitator) wrote:
    Sun Jan 13, 2019 10:41 am
    Hi Big M

    Thank you for having the courage to share your story, it takes a lot of strength and guts.
    At the early stages of recovery from gambling it is important to make it as hard as possible to gamble, put up as many barriers you can to help you not to gamble.

    Strategies you can try:
    1. set up automatic payments to pay for all your bills - utilities, insurance, rent, loans, grocery cards, etc, pay for petrol ASAP. The less cash you have, the less temptation, the less you can lose.
    2. get rid of any credit cards.
    3. delete all gambling accounts on your devices and install banning software.
    4. Online Gambling Blocking Software
    Below are links to three sellers of blocking software; there may be others apart those listed.

    Gamblock software This is a link to licensed software that blocks access to online gambling; software for Windows, Apple iphones and ipad, android and Samsung devices. http://www.gamblock.com/index.html

    Betfilter software This is a link to licensed software that blocks gambling sites and applications; software for Mac, Windows, Android phones and tablets and Apple iphones and ipads.
    https://www.betfilter.com/

    Gamban software This is a link to licensed software that blocks access to online gambling; software for iOS, Android, Windows and Mac OS X
    https://gamban.com/
    5. Join 100 day challenge.
    6. join a support group - Gamblers Anonymous, Smart Recovery Australia.
    7. speak to a Financial Counsellor - National Debt Helpline - 1800 007 007
    8. speak to a Telephone Counsellor on Gambling Helpline - 1800 858 858 it is a 24/7 telephone counselling service, it is confidential and anonymous. Because it is 24/7, we can help you get through any though times you are feeling at the moment, help try to get you past that urge to gamble.
    9. create your own First Aid Kit to help you take your mind away from gambling thoughts and urges. Use your senses - listen to music, watch your favourite movie or cat youtube video, smell something nice, eat some nice food or drink, move - exercise, walk, dance; get a massage, call Gambling Helpline, do anything get your mind off the gambling thought, don't try wrestling with it, it is exhausting, best to leave it alone, don't give it any energy by engaging with it.
    10. see a face to face counsellor and talk about your motivations for gambling - (financial, boredom, stress relief, loneliness, excitement, entertainment, etc) and find ways to replace what gambling does for you.
    11. and throw everything at it, sometimes one strategy may or may not work, so the more strategies you have in place, the better chance you will have to get through the moment.

    I hope this helps, keep trying, be nice to yourself and be patient, it takes time.

    Regards
    dragon007

    Great Post!
    0 x
    King45
    Junior Member
    Posts: 15
    Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2019 5:13 pm

    Re: Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Mon Jan 21, 2019 3:47 pm

    Big M wrote:
    Sun Jan 13, 2019 12:29 am
    Hi all,

    I have never posted on this website before but after reading others experiences I felt the urge to share mine.

    Decided to make a commitment to cease gambling before I lose everything. Though it could be argued I have already lost everything.

    Had a really tough Christmas not being able to buy gifts for family. Blew all my wages again. The worst part was I got my wages of $2500 before Christmas and had budgeted to pay bills and keep aside money for gifts. Well after work before catching the train home I thought I’d just try with $100 on the TAB betting app, hopefully hit a winner and have an extra $500 or so to finally give my family some nice things.

    Anyway my plan to bet only $100 was subconsciously dependent on me hitting a winner first up. Deep down I knew if I had lost, I would be fighting to win back that lost money. Loss after loss and I’m now $1500 down. Start getting desperate and placing $200 bets on rank outsiders at $30-1 odds in hope. Hit a winner. $200 on a greyhound paying $15. $3000! I’m up for once $1500! I figure I’ll bet for $500 and still have $2500 to withdraw ($1000 profit). $100 a bet, 4 bets down and I’ve only got $100 of my allotted $500 to play with. I decide to back a greyhound paying $8. I try to submit the bet and I miss the cut off by seconds. The greyhound wins. I just missed out on $800 due to network congestion on my phone. Literally ripped my stomach inside out. This triggered me for some stupid reason to keep betting til I hit a winner, maybe the rush? Well $2500 disappears. Again I’m $1500 down. Soon to become $2500 down as I gamble away a further $1000 of my wage. I’ve literally gambled my entire pay before Christmas.

    It’s now dark and I realise I’ve been sitting on this bench outside the train station gambling for 3 hours. I walk to the train station an empty empty sole. What has just happened?? I literally search for coins to put together to be able to get a soft drink, but I’m short 40 cents. I was $1500 ahead, now I’m $2500 down and don’t have enough money for a drink.

    I get home, not knowing how to explain I have no gifts or money for bills. I’ve hidden my gambling and finances/debts by constantly reborrowing, but my credit is now shot. I’ve got no where to turn. I don’t want to give my family a Christmas worry about my gambling addiction. I call my brother and tell him what I have done tonight. What I have been doing for 15 years. Worked so hard, nothing to show for it but more debt. Isolated myself from friends. Stacked on weight and bad health.

    Can’t do it anymore, I look online for tangible ways of getting help, not my usual empty commitments that lead to relapse. I no longer have control of my finances. I will wor hard and finally see my money used to better myself and my family.

    Sorry for the long post. I truly wish everyone success from this cruel cruel addiction. 15 years gone, but if I don’t start correcting things today in 5 years I’ll wish I had started 5 years ago. Has to start somewhere.

    I beg the universe to allow me to rid this addiction.
    Big m
    I feel every word you said I been there many time with poki all same additions with same result with same circle
    I been 5 days free now let me tell you how to start because it’s hardrdest part

    1- forgive yourself what you did that’s beginning guilt will never let you free from gambling
    2- stop stop stop think or try to get back your money the hard you try more you loose yes you will win but loose again
    Get out of that circle what ever gone is gone you have to say that and accept it
    3- don’t try even once more to get your money back remember that’s the trick
    4- stop think about gambling change ur thought
    5- lets fight together I’m in my 5 days free now join me
    2 x
    User avatar
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 309
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Thu Jan 24, 2019 1:40 pm

    Hi @Big M just wanted to tag to bring your attention back to all the people relating and showing you some great support here.
    We hear you!

    Hopefully you have your email notifications on, to send you the notification :)
    2 x
    onemorechance
    Junior Member
    Posts: 14
    Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2019 9:12 am

    Re: Rock bottom keeps getting lower

    Sat Jan 26, 2019 10:05 am

    Thank you for sharing your story Big M.

    This brought back a lot of memories for me and is one of the reasons why I signed up to this forum.

    Things are good for me at the moment, but it's important to have these reminders of where gambling can take us all.

    I hope things are much better for you today mate. Would be great to hear how you are getting on.
    3 x

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