Welcome to our online peer support community - A supportive place for anyone making change in their gambling, as well as concerned friends and family.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Anonymous. Professionally moderated. Free of judgement.

    Before you can post or reply, join our online community today.
    Join us Tuesdays from 6pm for Chatty Tuesday.
  • My tale of stupidity and shame

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Jamus
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:13 pm

    My tale of stupidity and shame

    Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:51 pm

    Hi all,

    I've been on these forums for a little while now and have found reading peoples stories incredibly helpful.

    I'm 31 and have been gambling since I turned 18. Back then it was just a bit of fun while having drinks with mates. 10 years later I'm alone in the gaming room burning through my entire pay.

    I've tried to give up a few times and failed. When I joined this forum 50 days ago I was in a very dark place after hitting rock bottom. I had lost everything and then chased the losses with my credit card. I had done this before and it worked... so I kept chasing and chasing until I couldn't spend anymore.

    You know that feeling you get when your walking out of the pokie room after losing every last dollar you have?
    It was that x10000 for me, I was so ashamed with myself I couldn't see tomorrow.

    I never want to feel those emotions again so I'm making myself remember exactly how low I was.

    It's been 49 days since I last gambled and I'm already surprised how much extra money I have (To pay off my gambling debt).

    I've tried the online councillor chat but didn't find it very helpful, it seemed like she was only interested in hearing how much money I had lost and I felt like I was imposing asking for help. I dont feel confident enough to see a face to face councillor at the moment.

    Anyway I just wanted tell my tale and hopefully my story will help others like the stories on here help me everytime I feel the urge to gamble I get on here and have a read.

    I really hope I can give them up for good.
    Jim
    1 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1056
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: My tale of stupidity and shame

    Tue Sep 25, 2018 8:15 am

    Hi Jim,

    Thanks for sharing your story.

    Well done on 50 days!

    Stay Strong!
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 359
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: My tale of stupidity and shame

    Tue Sep 25, 2018 11:04 am

    Hello Jamus,

    I'm Calvin, one of the facilitators here on Gambling Help Online.

    Good on you for making use of the forums, I think you will find other member's advice and support to be helpful.
    It can be quite confronting when we think of the result from our gambling but its great that you have used it to remind yourself how destructive it can be to encourage you to stay away from it.

    Well done on getting to the 50 day mark, that is a tremendous effort.
    Keep track of all the changes that have occurred since you stopped gambling, not only the financial improvement but also your emotional improvement.

    Keep up the great work, I'm sure other members would feel quite inspired just by reading your post.

    Kind regards,

    Calvin.
    0 x
    Jamus
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:13 pm

    Re: My tale of stupidity and shame

    Thu Oct 18, 2018 12:00 am

    Hi all

    Just thought I'd post an update, 72 days GF and it feels great. Day 1 it seemed like and impossible task to get to next pay day. But here I am. The urges are tough to beat down but I'm managing. You know how the little devil on your shoulder that tells you to go in and just put 50 in, which then turns in to every dollar you have. Well he is still there and when ever I feel like that, it's time to find something productive to do. I hope i can keep it up, and good luck to everyone else on here trying the same thing. One day at a time.
    J
    1 x
    Pamby
    Junior Member
    Posts: 22
    Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2018 11:43 am

    Re: My tale of stupidity and shame

    Thu Oct 18, 2018 11:41 pm

    Well done Jamus..keep up the good work
    0 x
    FamilyFirst
    Senior Member
    Posts: 187
    Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:38 pm

    Re: My tale of stupidity and shame

    Sat Oct 20, 2018 12:56 am

    Well Done Jamus!

    Sounds like your doing a great job.

    We all have a story and sadly most are the same in respect to our finances and our friendships and ultimately our own health and wellbeing..

    While we are intoxicated by a gambling haze we fail to see the broader picture and keep in a downward spiral. When we take ourselves away from gambling we begin to see life the way it should be. Then in turn it becomes much easier to keep ourselves away from gambling as we can see the difference it has upon us.

    Mind you, almost 20 months clean and I still play online free pokie apps and never carry cash, but I no longer wish to waste my life in a casino or venue pressing buttons all day too.

    Take it one day at a time and the fog will lift and you will have the opportunity to quit, if YOU want.....

    Cheers and all the best, Lee
    0 x
    Jamus
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2018 10:13 pm

    Re: My tale of stupidity and shame

    Wed Nov 14, 2018 10:53 pm

    Today is 100 days GF. And I'm pretty proud of that. Longest time I havnt gambled since I turned 18.
    When I first found this forum I had lost everything (again). And I wanted to die.

    The stories and support on here has helped me see what control gambling has on your brain. The urges to go and throw $50 in are still constant but I remember it's never just $50 And then I'm broke till payday.

    In the past 100 days I've been throwing all the money I can into my gambling debt and it's a great reminder of how dumb gambling is.
    I hope everyone on here can find a way to beat this demon. And I hope I can get to 200 days but right now I'm only worried about day 101.

    All the best
    Jamus
    2 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1716
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: My tale of stupidity and shame

    Thu Nov 15, 2018 12:09 am

    Well done Jamus..you are well on the way to being gamble free..the thoughts of gambling will lessen..but just keep remembering how bad you feel when you lose all your money..say no to gambling today and keep marching on..do the 100 day challenge again
    0 x
    User avatar
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 399
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: My tale of stupidity and shame

    Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:36 am

    Congrats Jamus!!!! You should be really proud of yourself, not just for 100 days gamble free, but for your great attitude.

    Good luck on your next 100, but you're absolutely right - focus on day 101 for now! :)
    1 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 359
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: My tale of stupidity and shame

    Tue Nov 20, 2018 10:12 am

    Welldone Jamus!!! keep up the great work!
    0 x

    Return to “Change Makers”