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Re: Stronger each day.

Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2020 4:29 pm
by loose_thread
Nicely done @Realme,

It's an important question I think: what to do when you get to the end.
Because really, there isn't an "end" except the one we create.
A better question might be: once we've created a beginning with the 100 day challenge, how do we inhabit a middle, without the need for an ending?

Best wishes,

Re: Stronger each day.

Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2020 11:41 pm
by Jc

I thought I’d chime in on ‘the end’.

What are you goals? Do you want to go 100 days? 200 days? What about the rest of your life? When you start to think so far ahead, it gets a bit daunting. If you get down to the core, ‘never gambling again’ is a long time in our lifespan. That could be 20,30,40 years. I try not to think that far ahead because I get afraid and start question whether its all worth it. (It is by the way). Think about Gamblers Anonymous, they have a saying ‘a day at a time’. That’s all it is. You wake up and say ‘Today I’m not going to gamble’. Then the next day, and so forth. What I’ve come to realise (I’m 2 weeks away from 300), is that this whole 300 days have been an accumulation of ‘todays’. I said ‘today I’m not going to bet’ 300’ days in a row.

You can reward yourself for reaching 100 days, but rewarding yourself by indulging in the addiction that made you the way you are is counterproductive...because that means you’re back at day zero.

In 2018, I reached 200 days and I thought I was ‘cured’. I scratched the itch and gambled. That led me to spiral out of control. I was lucky I foresaw this would happen and locked away savings. Unfortunatey there is no cure. Once you’re prone to the addiction - thats it. You will never be a ‘controlled’ gambler.

What made me want to keep going was how good I felt. From 2013-2018 I gambled my life away, especially in the latter years. I became depressed, broke and borderline suicidal. I didn’t go out like a normal guy. I overate and put on 20 kilograms. My hair got thinner. Never had a relationship. Always covering my tracks as to why I had no money. I literally had no money to the point where I couldnt buy a coffee. I’d be so desperate to gamble sometimes when I had nothing, I’d search for hours just to get a few coins so I could go to the TAB. I felt disgusting. (I could go on and on but this post is not about me)

I say these things because I don’t want to go back to my old life. That’s my motivation to keep going. I hated myself then. I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t stopped - homeless? Dead? I don’t want to go down that path. I am infinitely happier today. (Probably a little too loose on my spending).

What happens when you reach 100 days? You go to day 101.

Re: Stronger each day.

Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2020 5:26 am
by Realme
Hey there jc, thanks for sharing, much appreciate about letting me know how gambling had impacted you & how you beat it by going day by day for your goal.
Yeah, I can resonate with what you said, I too would search my house for coins back when I would run out from dumping it all on the pokies. I hated those moments of desperation - also, I would do some things I’m not proud about, I don’t even want to share here because it shames me just thinking about what running out of money from pokies made me do, it changed who I really was, hence why I called myself ‘Realme’ here. I wanted to be the real me, like I was before my gambling days, & not the ‘gambling me’ who felt miserable, broke & depressed.
I too had gained some weight during my 7 years of gambling, I’m now trying to shed it off & exercise when can. Life is looking a lot brighter, though still a challenge at times. I guess that’s why they call it ‘100 day challenge’ ;);
As I mentioned in my earlier post, I am taking it a day at a time & happy that I’ve come this far so hopefully I’ve got the right mindset to keep going. Thanks again & well done on all your successes, 300 will be a remarkable milestone for you !!!

Re: Stronger each day.

Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2020 2:29 pm
by Calvin (facilitator)
Hi @Realme thankyou for your openness.
Your fear of the 100th day is a very real one that I'm sure many people stress about.
The 100th day can be about celebrating being gambling free in a useful way. Think of the money you saved and you may want to treat yourself to something that you've always wanted or never done before, whether that be a material thing, a fancy dinner, booking a weekend away somewhere different etc.
Write a list of your achievements over the past 100 days. Comparing how you feel in that current moment compared to the time where gambling invaded your life.

You're already on Day 63 which is fantastic. Taking it day by day is important, make the effort to remain present in whats happening now and the achievements you've reached thus far.
When you reach 100 days (which I'm sure will feel great!) You can always restart the challenge to do another 100 days!

Anyone have any words of support for RealMe at this time?

Re: Stronger each day.

Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2020 10:31 pm
by Realme
Thank you Calvin, I appreciate your helpful words, I will definitely take note on those tips you mentioned. I’ve already set some goals in place for myself & that is saving for a car & also a family holiday at the end of year would be nice too. I’ve been without a car for last 5 years due to a move interstate to Tas, then my gambling to pokies spiralled out of control & I could never save. When I won a grand jackpot last year at pokies I had enough funds to buy a car but it went back in apart from buying a new laptop. It was devastating to lose it back in but that was the straw for me & I self excluded soon after that happened.
So no looking back for me but a reminder that gambling doesn’t work, it’s saving money from pays what works.
Thanks again :);

Re: Stronger each day.

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 10:23 am
by Realme
I am doing so well today at 109 days gamble free. When I got to 100 days, it was a fantastic feel to know I made it without a relapse. Then I got tempted & some urges to go & have a fun play. I was almost going to book a motel close by to casino. Thank the Lord that the next thing that happened after my thoughts, the prime minister announced closures of all these gaming places. It really helped me tremendously win this good fight more. Making me stronger each day again, I may not be my strongest yet but it’s a great opportunity to work on myself, to keep reaching for the stars :D

Re: Stronger each day.

Posted: Fri Apr 03, 2020 10:38 am
by TimTam
Its a blessing in disguise isn't it @Realme !
With the venues being shut, it helps so many people to see clearly what damage they were doing to themselves, and take a step back from it all.
Keep up the great work!