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  • It's a frightening addiction

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    ang
    Senior Member
    Posts: 206
    Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2016 8:28 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Thu May 19, 2016 4:04 pm

    for me buying a lotto ticket doesnt give me the same sort of feeling as sitting in front of a pokie machine so although i would buy a ticket and lose it would not make me want to go and keep buying lotto tickets till i had won or lost all my money,,thats the first time ive really looked at it that way that i can control myself around other sorts of gambling just not pokie machines....
    0 x
    sj
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 10:58 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Thu May 19, 2016 9:27 pm

    Im sorry to hikack.
    I'm just not coping and i dont know where to turn. I have been trying so hard for do long to be supportive. I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety and i think ive taken an od of benzos ( dont worry not lethal. I'll jyst sleep for ages). Bf not even gambling anymore. Im just so drained. I need help :(
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    Miette (facilitator)
    Member
    Posts: 59
    Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2016 11:11 am

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Fri May 20, 2016 12:51 pm

    Hi sj,

    This is a very concerning head space to be in. I suggest that if you think you may have taken an overdose, it is important that you call 000 - it is important to get medical support. There is other support available out there for you. Gambler's Helpline 1800 858 858 is a 24/7 confidential service or Lifeline 13 11 14 - where you can talk about what is going on for you and what would be most helpful for you at this time. It is very important that you seek help if you are feeling unsafe, and it sounds like you are in a very distressed state at the moment.

    Please take care,
    Miette (GH)
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    Ami
    Junior Member
    Posts: 28
    Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 4:32 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Wed Jun 01, 2016 2:37 pm

    Update
    He still falls over
    He is still in debt
    I still pay all the bills and groceries
    He still works 7 days a week and is broke
    He isn't happy neither am I.
    Today we signed for self exclusion. 28 venues
    And we both put our names down for some concealing. They said they should let us know next week if we 'fit the criteria'
    But this is the first serious step he has taken.
    Also a new bank account in his name has been opened. Soon he will change all the direct debits to that card. The morguage wasn't paid for this fortnight. So I've had to pay some more towards that. Man that was hard. I don't earn much but I've been trying to save for my rego. Half my rego savings went to pay the morguage. Broke my heart seeing my hard earned money be taken.
    Hopefully soon we will both be starting a program and seeing someone to help us.
    We keep saying g today is the first day of our new lives.
    New bank tick
    Self exclusion tick
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    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1712
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Wed Jun 01, 2016 6:07 pm

    Hi Ami..looks like you have both taken the right steps to overcome ths addiction and I wish you both well
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    Simon
    Junior Member
    Posts: 14
    Joined: Mon May 23, 2016 2:34 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Thu Jun 02, 2016 8:25 am

    Hi Ami,

    I've just read through your story from your first post through to now and wish you all the best. It must be exhausting for you to go through this and you deserve so much better. The new account, self exclusion and signing up for counselling are the most positive things your boyfriend has agreed to yet and hopefully signal that he is finally serious about kicking this addiction.

    You must still see the guy you first fell for somewhere underneath the addiction, so I really hope he beats this. It won't be until then that he'll understand what he has put you through and he'll realise how lucky he is to have your love and support.

    Thanks for posting your updates and I sincerely wish the best for you both.
    0 x
    Ami
    Junior Member
    Posts: 28
    Joined: Fri Feb 05, 2016 4:32 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Mon Jun 06, 2016 8:19 am

    Today, I will mourn the loss of my savings...
    I pay the bills, I buy our groceries, pay the mortgage. While trying to save to pay for my rego and put fuel in my own car and at times his.
    Yesterday I had to take my last $300 out of my account to pay the mortgage.
    He said to me yesterday (after taking him out for a fun day to get him to relax for once) I'm going to need $××× for the mortgage. I said that's literally all I've got. Tears roll down my face. He gets mad! Says mean things and said don't worry I'll deal with it myself. He doesn't understand my side. He refuses to let himself understand my side. He says to me I have to pay back $××××× amount. (Yeah but you got your self into that, that's from your gambeling) but I don't have the right to be upset with having every cent of my savings taken.
    I work hard for that. He earns more than me just from his full time job alone. He has two.jobs. and here I am, earning next to nothing but still paying everything so we can survive and keep our home. Worse thing is I feel no appreciation from him. I get it. Stressing about his gambeling debt is more important than saying thank you.
    I do alot for us. And I just feel like an atm because he doesn't thank me. Alls i want is appreciation and praise. I now have .99 in my savings and $20 in my account to live off.
    I get paid on Wednesday but all of that will go to fuel groceries and two bills I got paying off along with my car repayments.
    And the left overs will most likely goto fixing his car. It's important he is able to work. Other wise we can kiss everything goodbye. No fuel broken car? He can't work. So it's up to me to help. This is hard. The self exclusion is good. He says it truly stops him from going near a venue. But the debt is still there. We are waiting to hear about gamblers help/seeing a councilor but not til later this week to see if we "fit the criteria"
    Are you joking? Fit the criteria? ??
    If we don't get the help we are going to fall apart. He will lose his job and we will lose the house.
    It breaks my heart to even look at my account. Even at uni living off centerline I had savings. Now here I am. Living the dream with a house a man I'll one day marry and a fur baby. Broke. All because of gambeling. It has taken everything. The man I love is now an empty shell. He hardly talks. His mind is else where, thinking of how he will get the money to catch up (usually he just gambles and wins and it's ok) the anger and frustration lingers. Resentment from me. I am one strong girl. I hide what goes on bloody well. Once I'm alone I'm like him. I'm quiet and angry. I have the day off and he is off to work. I'm writing this with tears in my eyes. Today I'll cry and freeze in our cold house. Once he gets home I suck it up and smile. Because me being sad isn't helping him. I'm dying inside today. I wish I had people around me. I feel so alone. I'm sorry. What a waste of time if you've read all this.
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    Peter
    Member
    Posts: 60
    Joined: Thu May 19, 2016 4:57 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Mon Jun 06, 2016 9:45 am

    Hey there Ami...there are consellors available on this website that you can call. I suggest you do that as a priority and start a direction in which you can take some charge over your own life. Far from me giving you advice but I would be questioning the strength/commitment of your partner to your relationship. To me it sounds very one sided bordering on emotionally abusive, ask the counsellor on their thoughts. If you are emotionally and physically disabled by the draining affects of gambling you need to get as much professional attention as is possible. Please call the 1800 858 858 as soon as you can. All strength and more to you Ami.
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    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1712
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Mon Jun 06, 2016 5:50 pm

    Ami you poor thing.you are really having a tough time..you do need to get counselling as soon as possible..you can also get financial assistance.I wish you all the very best
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    Devastated69
    Junior Member
    Posts: 28
    Joined: Wed Oct 02, 2013 12:17 am

    Re: It's a frightening addiction

    Mon Jun 06, 2016 7:01 pm

    Please get yourself help to deal with this, i was a huge gambler and lost everything including our house, I went to jail for it as I stole $400,000 to fund my addiction but am proud to say I no longer gamble, I wish i had of sought help it would of saved my family so much devastation. I have been out of jail for 18months but I will continue to pay the price for the rest of my life as will everyone that my actions impacted on. My partner of 7 years left me when i got arrested he was so angry and had no idea, i fully understand the impact of gambling on those that are not the gambler as i have put my family and children through hell, not to mention shame, anger, sadness, financial loss, stress and the list goes on. Not a day passes that i dont reflect on what i have done and my teenager children are often ashamed that their once idolized mother has been in maximum security prison. The impact is just so huge in all aspects of life and i sincerely hope that he can get help, i would love to speak to him or you for that matter i really want to help people now.
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