Ex partner not stopping even when with our child

[Liset]

Hi
My ex and I still have a joint account. This is the account for his salary, private school payments and an investment property we still owe
I struggle (financially) as a single mum and sometimes use this account for groceries, internet, petrol. We share custody of our 7 yr old. He left a year ago.
From the moment I stopped working my ( a 6 figure job) we started having issues as a couple. I became a SAHM for 6 years. At some point in the relationship he gave me his cards and told me how ashamed he was of his gambling. At the time I was supportive the best way I could.. As a sleep deprived mum it was hard for me to budget also because I was never "good enough" in anything I did (especially after I "stopped working")

The thing is that his family is very wealthy. His twin is a narcissist but not a gambler. He always "helps" his family financially (that is brother and sister) but also is a compulsive gambler. He earns good money which gets spent at sports bet lotto horse races.. You name it (I can see it in the bank statement).

The thing is that after all the emotional abuse I still care about him. Bare with me here.. I have done counselling for years, when my daughter turned 2 and I reached to his mother (who I can tell is a narcissist) she confirmed that "yeah he's always done that". Her "help" was to pay for a rehab centre that cost 20K.. Before he joined the rehab he staid with me which was horrific as he was so angry at me and even said he was going to kill himself. I asked his mother to stay as I didn't feel safe but that didn't happen.

He is the father of our girl. He is exposing her to his addictions. Takes her to Timezone (a mini casino if you tell me), buys her games on the I pad. My girl is not into competing however I would like to speak to.him about it (eventhough I know he hates the way I talk).

He won't stop. He earns money to spend it. He doesn't look after his health. Never rests.. Coffee and energy drinks "will do". I'm concerned.. About my child.. And no.. No lawyer or mediator will take gis gambling into consideration. I have tried seriously.

Despite the emotional abuse and despite he has a girl friend now I would really like to speak up. He's not getting better and it affects our girl.

What's the psychology behind a compulsive gambler that works for it. The times he "ran out" of money "mummy" has come to the rescue.. Because she is sooooo wealthy. Btw only a week ago he asked for 10K for his business as I am working full time now.

I cant seem to find info about compulsive gamblers that actually have money. Or enablers in the family. Seriously. What is the meaning of it. Why do they do it.. What sort of trauma there is behind? (There is history of suicide in gis mums side of the family, also history of physical abuse) IF I know better at least I can find a way to speak to.him.. For the sake of my girl!!! Please.

[John933]

I'm sorry to hear about your family situation. I have the same situation only with my friend and I don't know what to do anymore...

[Gemma Fiw]

I haven't had time to finish reading your story, but my dear, you should go to the police. It doesn't have to be this way.