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  • Supporting partner with gambling addiction

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Anonymous161
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2022 4:49 pm

    Supporting partner with gambling addiction

    Sun Jul 03, 2022 4:54 pm

    Hi,

    I’m new here and looking for some advice on how to best support my partner with his gambling addiction. He told me last night about the problem where I learnt he has spent $20,000 on gambling in the last month alone.

    I’m really proud of him for telling me, it was really hard and emotional for him, he wants me to have control of all his finances moving forward and I toke his phone and deleted all gambling apps. I spent last night reminding him that I still love him despite his problems and that I’m here to help him get through it.

    I always just looking for any other suggestions on what to do to help him, he doesn’t want to talk to anybody else about it but me, so I’m trying to figure out what I need to do to be the most effective support I can be.

    Thanks!
    3 x
    Jimap
    Member
    Posts: 89
    Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:17 pm

    Re: Supporting partner with gambling addiction

    Sun Jul 03, 2022 11:27 pm

    Hi @Anonymous161 its great that your partner has been able to be honest with you regarding his gambling. I would encourage you to research as much as you can about gambling addictions and how the cycle of addiction occurs. At the moment he has come clean and told you, asking you to take over his finances and delete his apps. He probably feels ashamed at what has happened and also some relief that he has told you his secret. The issue is that at some point it’s highly likely that he may reinstall the gambling apps or become annoyed that you have control of his finances..
    Your question to him needs to be ‘what is your recovery going to look like’..does he want to continue gambling once things have settled down?? Does he even see he has an addiction that needs treatment. Relying on you solely puts you under a lot of pressure emotionally and financially…
    You need to set some strong boundaries about what you can and can’t do to support him. He also may need to reconsider only just speaking to you. He needs to seek help for himself professionally.
    Like you I also took over control of a lot of finances with my ex partner. At the time I felt it was the best way to stop him gambling but unfortunately it didn’t. He also just wanted to talk to me about it and eventually it just became too much to deal with alone. Addiction does cause relationships to become toxic so please make sure you seek support solely for yourself…
    There is Gamban which he can download on his phone that will prevent gambling apps but really again he needs to be the one driving his own recovery.
    Take care
    2 x
    Pikachu
    Moderator
    Posts: 140
    Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2022 3:48 pm

    Re: Supporting partner with gambling addiction

    Tue Jul 05, 2022 10:28 am

    Hi @Anonymous161 ,
    Welcome to the forum and well done on making your first post~ Thank you for sharing your story and you have done very well in supporting your partner. :o
    Thank you @Jimap for the information and help.
    The resources Jimap mentioned are some good and helpful one. Looking after yourself is indeed important alongside the support you are providing for your partner. I have messaged you some extra resources in private message, let me know if you need more information about anything.
    At this stage, the important thing for you to do is to look after yourself and set boundaries with your partner (thank you Jimap again, for this great advice). Without clear boundaries, both you and your partner might get overwhelmed by the situation at one stage.
    Spending time together and do something you both enjoy is another way to keep him distracted from the urge and can also help strengthen your relationship.
    Don't hesitate to ask us anything is you need more help, just @ myself or @Printemps . :);
    0 x
    yelya2
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2022 9:32 am

    Re: Supporting partner with gambling addiction

    Tue Jul 05, 2022 11:47 am

    hi @Anonymous161
    I have never actually posted on here before, I just use it for some help but felt the need to reply to you. I recently came clean to my fiance after a few years struggling with this demon. Can I just say as someone on the other side of it, thank you for sticking by your partner. That is so hard to do. My partner is really struggling right now and I am at a loss of how to make things better but we are trying so hard. I don't have any urges and am completely dedicated to improving our lives but his support has been the thing that has made this much easier to face. So as someone in his position, thank you. I am sure it really means the world to him. It would be completely understandable if you didn't stick around but the fact you are would be helping him a lot. The amount of shame and literal feeling like you want the world to swallow you is a tough one to get through but having you there, I am hopeful of a good outcome for you. Just ensure you look after yourself too. My partner who usually keeps everything in is speaking to a counselor every week on his own and i think that's helping him so might be something you would want to consider too.. you should be your number 1.
    4 x
    Sportssensation
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2022 9:58 pm

    Re: Supporting partner with gambling addiction

    Tue Jul 05, 2022 10:20 pm

    Hi

    As the Gambler just wanted to say thanks for sticking with him.

    I've lost a fair few people the last months but I've had a couple stick with me and I have changed.
    As long as he accepts what he has been doing it will happen.
    I hadn't accepted it till now but I am doing my best

    I wish you both luck
    2 x
    connorjames
    Junior Member
    Posts: 8
    Joined: Wed May 08, 2019 12:53 pm

    Re: Supporting partner with gambling addiction

    Fri Jul 29, 2022 1:36 pm

    Hi @Anonymous161 I sent you a private message hope you get that thanks.
    0 x
    GabrielSancy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2022 9:15 pm

    Re: Supporting partner with gambling addiction

    Tue Aug 23, 2022 8:12 pm

    I know this is hard for both of you. However, I hope it works out for you and that you don't break up. I encourage you to be gentle with your partner and explain that this addiction is destroying your relationship. It is difficult for every addict to give up the "drug" and it may take some time. So you better prepare yourself for the fact that it may not be easy. I have nothing against online casinos and usually play Satta king. It just relaxes me and gives me a little thrill, so I like it. I never spend large amounts on it and usually even win more. However, I can't explain to my girlfriend that I won't have any problems and she wants me to get rid of this habit. People like that disappoint me.
    1 x
    Pikachu
    Moderator
    Posts: 140
    Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2022 3:48 pm

    Re: Supporting partner with gambling addiction

    Mon Aug 29, 2022 1:37 pm

    Hi @Anonymous161 ,
    I want to check in with you to see how are you. How did you find the resources/information that were provided to you?
    0 x

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