Need2stop - time to try

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Re: Need2stop - time to try

Postby Mona58 » Tue Apr 03, 2018 8:10 pm

Keep doing what you are doing... you are on the right track. Be strong and surf the urges.... whatever happens just don't give in. keep posting and ranting! it helps.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
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Re: Need2stop - time to try

Postby Need2stop » Tue Apr 03, 2018 6:57 pm

Day 1 -

Well day one is almost done - I do not feel the need to gamble I am in the self loathing stage. Why did I do it?, why didn’t I learn?, how am I gonna recover from this nightmare?

A hellish day at work, didn’t think I could make it through without giving up and walking out!

I called and spoke to a counsellor today and realised that I gamble thinking I can win and clear my debts - once they are cleared I won’t have to force myself to work in a job I don’t love - I wouldn’t have that trapped feeling that I have felt for years. Huh we all know that’s not how it works!! What type of imbalance is in my brain to think this way!!

How did it all start? because I felt trapped due to certain events - that thing that trapped me no longer exists but the years of self destruction is hard to break. If only I could focus on the positives and claw my way out of this crater!

It’s gonna take time but over the coming weekend I want to work out what debts I have and how long it will take me to pay them off - I hope a goal of freedom will keep me on the straight and narrow.

I want and need it to end, enough is enough. There is only one person to blame and I have to see that person every day when I look in the mirror. One day I might not hate and despise the person looking back at me.

Enough ranting - fingers crossed
Need2stop
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Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:51 pm

Re: Need2stop - time to try

Postby Need2stop » Tue Apr 03, 2018 7:11 am

Thanks mona58

I have searched the App Store on my iPad and can’t find it. There is only one site I frequent and I have requested that the account be blocked for good ;)

I appreciate your support
Need2stop
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Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:51 pm

Re: Need2stop - time to try

Postby Mona58 » Mon Apr 02, 2018 9:13 pm

Hi Need2Stop

Install Gamblock, it is an app and it blocks any websites containing gambling content. It can be installed on both your phone and laptop/computers.

It may be worthwhile to Find a GA meeting. Ring GAMB helpline 1800 858 858 talk to a counsellor and they can advice.

All the best on your journey to recovering!
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
Mona58
Senior Member
 
Posts: 873
Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

Need2stop - time to try

Postby Need2stop » Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:59 pm

I have a gambling addiction - initially it was just a club habit, constant habit, now I am addicted to an online casino. I hate it, I hate myself, I hate how it has a hold of me.

Today I want to start to Stop!

I don’t want to be up until 3am playing online when I have to get up at 6am for work. I don’t want to take mo eye that isn’t mine to play. I hate that I do this and I k ow it is only me who can change that.

I’m sorry to the people I have hurt and continue to hurt without them knowing. I know it will take time but I WANT To stop and stay away from it all. I want the strength and determination. I want to be happy not depressed and self loathing!

Fingers crossed.
Need2stop
Junior Member
 
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Apr 02, 2018 8:51 pm

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