Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

What are some strategies when trying to quit or cut down? What works for you?

RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby POPEYE » Wed Mar 20, 2013 2:28 pm

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Last edited by POPEYE on Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby Peter » Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:37 am

Thanks Bull,

It's good you also got 'surprisingly' positive support. I wonder if this is more normal than otherwise once people get past that initial fear.

I think the fact I was open and honest, said this is where I am at, I'm trying to kick it, and I just need some support (even if just an ear) helped. They're helping me to not be too hard on myself, and I'm careful not to 'load my problems' onto them. I'm happy for them to be empathetic, and offer suggestions and advice, but not be sympathetic or have pity on me (if that makes sense).

Just writing here and getting positive replies from others in a similar situation is somewhat liberating.

Thanks again, and good luck.
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby Bull » Wed Mar 20, 2013 10:42 am

Hi Peter.

Wow, must have taken a lot of strength to bring this up to your partner and closest friend. I did the same (to my family) not to long ago and was surprised with the support I received. I thought I'd be alienated, ostracised, and fed to the dogs because of my behaviour. But the more and more I look back on it the more I realise that was more an irrational fear than a truth (my counsellor would love that sentence!)

I think the support you are getting is fantastic and stories like this, personally, encourage me to push through my own struggles.

All the best with kicking the habbit once and for all.
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby Peter » Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:19 am

Thanks Popeye,

I'm sharing my story and talking about it to see if it will help me resolve it. And if at the same time anything I share helps someone else, then all the better.

But it's hard, and I can understand why the majority of people don't share or post.

Thanks for the suggestions. I've seen a few of your posts, you might not share your story, but you give good feedback and suggestions to help others. You're right - it helps to know you're not alone. Also great to hear independent feedback on the positive (email) support given here. I might give it a go.

My biggest issue (well I think - as I'm working through it), is that if I see any available balance in any of my accounts or cards, I have the attitude that it's able to be spent, and where do I spend all my money? Gambling...

Hence ridiculously high Credit Card balances. Once I make the monthly payments, by the end of the pay cycle, it's generally all gone again.

I think I need to move the finances to a place where I can't touch it (as you suggested), other than a weekly fixed amount, and give myself a few presents along the way, whether that's a holiday a new gadget or something.

Yes - I'm very thankful for a very supportive wife. We are working with the attitude that "we are where we are, now let's just look at how we can change it".

It's amazing isn't it? Most people on the outside see me as a very successful businessman who's got all his **** together, most likely loaded. And mostly I think I do (well apart from not being loaded and gambling), but it shows that you never know what's going on behind closed doors.

After reading a few posts, I'm certainly not in as bad a place as a few people that have posted here, but I plan (trying to use positive words rather than 'hope') to eventually make the problem go away, rather than let it spiral further out of control.

Good luck with your journey Popeye and thanks for the feedback and support...
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RE: Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby POPEYE » Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:36 pm

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Last edited by POPEYE on Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Time to change. High earner, negative assets.

Postby Peter » Tue Mar 19, 2013 5:23 pm

This is my first visit and post to this site, and I've just spent a couple hours reading other posts. This is a great site, and I see there are plenty of others out there like me.

Thought I'd share my story, and what I'm doing. I thought if I 'talked' about it, it would make it a bit more real, and if I put down what I've done and am going to do, it might actually make me do it.


I've always been lucky enough to earn a lot of money, and been very successful with business over a lot of years, yet currently own a whole lot less assets than much younger siblings that survive on single incomes less than 25% of my salary (basically most of my assets like house and car are effectively owned by the bank, and I have credit card debts that could have bought me 3 new cars.). This is unfortunately a direct result of my gambling.

Maybe that's part of my problem - always earned money, but never learnt how to properly manage it. Seems to burn holes in my pockets.

Gladly it hasn't affected my work or marriage, and I haven't lost my house. But now is the time to change.


I've this week also just reached out to my wife, and separately my closest friend (apart from my wife) about it, and have already received great support and understanding from them. I've also made some commitments to them, and I don't want to let them down.

I've already learnt a number of things from this site, and will try new things suggested by others, and trying to identify my triggers for gambling.

I see this site will play a role in my quest to change, and I plan for future posts to be more of my success stories to help others.

Peter
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