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Ending the cycle for good

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Ending the cycle for good

Postby Pea pod » Sun Jun 25, 2017 7:29 pm

Hi, I am new. I am am a middle aged mother who had gambled away all I earn for the last 15 years on pokies. I have been to counselling, GA meetings, I call the help line and I have self excluded for the 2 nd time. I am doing the 100 day challenge and I am on day 8. I have been GF for 60 days then I relapsed terribly. I no
Longer want this hideous addiction in my life. I read the stories and they are all familiar to me. I gamble with no control or awareness of the amount I am losing. Lately I gamble so much I am almost in tears at the machine but can't stop. Day 8 GF feels good. I hope now I am self excluded at all my local venues again I can save myself and not gamble.
Pea pod
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby User 586eee5282d07 » Sun Jun 25, 2017 8:02 pm

Welcome pea pod, it is a horrible devastating feeling isnt it, but you are doing the absolute best things in reviewing your strategies and starting again. All we can do is get up and keep moving on when we stumble. Good luck and keep posting we are all here to support you.

Cheers
Sandra
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby pamela » Sun Jun 25, 2017 9:38 pm

Hi and welcome.we all have a similar sorry tale to tell and some of us stumble along the way..pick yourself up dust yourself off and start again..good luck and try and resist those urges
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Jerry (facilitator) » Mon Jun 26, 2017 4:52 pm

Hi Peapod,

Thanks for sharing, I know it can be hard to open up and admit you are struggling even on anonymous forums, so thank you for having the courage to share. You are doing everything right, seeking all the support that you can. It's that attitude that will serve you well, I have no doubt that you will be able to kick this terrible habit. (although it may take quite a few tries). Persistence is key. You are on the right path.


Welcome to the forum :)
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Pea pod » Mon Jun 26, 2017 9:28 pm

Thanks for your replies. Today is day 9 and I have had the familiar urges. It's funny how they creep up when your not expecting them. You can just be doing the dishes or driving to the grocery store and they hit you. A counsellor told me to let them come and really be aware of them and to say to myself they are just thoughts and that's ok because I am in control of what I do with that urge. She said the urge is a way of my mind trying to protect me because going makes me almost self medicate so I can forget anything else that's bothering me at the time. I like this analogy and I am going to face my urges head on this time.'I will make a mental note of them and ask myself, am I tired am I hungry , bored , lonely , anxious , angry ect ect. Be mindful and aware so I can begin to welcome the urges except them but also let them
Pass without doing any damage at the pokie machines.
Pea pod
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby pamela » Mon Jun 26, 2017 11:59 pm

Well done Pea pod..fighting those urges is the hardest thing but you can ..when you get an urge..stop and think of all bad things gambling brings and hopefully by then the urge will have passed..remain strong
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby FamilyFirst » Tue Jun 27, 2017 9:00 pm

Hi Pea pod,

Glad to hear you're still fighting off those urges :)
I use Pamela's advice of thinking of all the crap that gambling brings to my life, every time I get an urge.. I quickly change the thought to how my life is now after 4 months GF and it makes me happy, I literally smile those urges away ;)

Take care, stay strong
Thanks, Lee
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby suzybeauty » Tue Jul 04, 2017 11:48 am

Hi Pea Pod,
Keep going strong with your GF, you're already an inspiration to me. I'm 4 days GF, 3rd attempt to get there, this time doing it for my family. I aspire to keep going and I liked what your councillor said about the urges, thank you for sharing, it will help me too. All the best to you and hope to hear about your progress soon. Suzy :)
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby blastoise (facilitator) » Wed Jul 05, 2017 4:32 pm

HI Pea Pod!

Thanks for your sharing your story! Our stories are often so similar, but there's also some amazing success stories to. I agree with the urges popping up when you least expect them and catching you off guard. What do you do in these times to avoid giving in? Whats been helping?

Hope you are doing well on your journey so far, let us know!

Cheers
Blastoise
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Re: Ending the cycle for good

Postby Pea pod » Mon Jul 10, 2017 7:27 pm

Here it goes, I relapsed. I always relapse. This is the problem with being a gambling addict. It seems to get me sucked back in. I won I lost I won and bang it took hold of me again. Today I lost. Today I lost a lot. Today I lied to my family to gamble. I ran away from my family to gamble. Today I had to pretend I was ok when I got home despite loosing a lot of money and precious time.I was not ok I was screaming inside. I hate this cycle I hate the poker machine.
Pea pod
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