Years of pain.

[Pea pod]

I’m on a much anticipated holiday. I have gambled the whole time. I drank heavily and sat up all night on my Phn gambling. I never really cared at the time but today I count my losses. Thousands of dollars . I was so drunk I was doing huge bets . The suffering today is awful. I know what I have done . I don’t know why. I have to leave this holiday and go home to work pretending it’s been great when it has been a head space nightmare for me. The money is gone I know that . I have had an addiction for so long now numbness takes over. I’ve got to move on now. I’m in my late forties. I’m a partner. I to carry on as normal but I’m struggling. Today I will try to stop this madness and post my feelings on here with others who can help me. Godbless Patty

[Pikachu]

Hi @Pea pod,
Thank you so much for sharing your story here with us. I'm sorry to hear you are going through a hard time.
You mentioned you counted the amount you lost. I want to say well done. Denial is one common factor that stopped people from getting support. You know realized you need help and you reached out today. Well done!
The recovery journey can be hard to go through on your own. So if you need help or some extra support, just let us know. We can help you organized some counselling or other support you think you might need.
We are all here to supprot you!

[Pea pod]

Thanks . Cancelled my apps. The reality of my loss is almost too much to bare I’m aware of it and feel nauseous waves when I remember the last big number lost. It’s so sad and it will eventually be known but for now I have to put on a brave face and pretend while I struggle with sorting out my finances and addiction.

[Printemps]

@Pea pod it's great you've cancelled your apps. how has this week been for you?