Partner Gambling - Won’t discuss or listen to me.

[TaylahG]

Hi Everyone.

I’m new to the forum and would really appreciate support.

My partner of almost 6 years has been gambling for the past 4 years and now currently has nothing. It’s certainly been in waves and at the beginning of this year he lost his entire savings (6 figures) and despite that really breaking down our relationship, his continued to spend every single pay check this year.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried so many times to discuss it, add in deposit limits and encourage seeing a psychologist but he won’t. His stuck in the mindset of there’s no other way to get his life on track unless he wins it back. We started looking to purchase our first home in March 2020 and we’re looking very regularly for almost 24 months, so I was on his back about ensuring that his statements were clean. Not to make it about me, but I’m struggling to now see a future with him. Doesn’t understand the value of money and how much it really has impacted not only his, but our future. Even small things on the weekends he’ll no longer want to do with me because he has no money. I work in the finance industry myself and work hard to budget myself each fortnight.

How can I get him back on track? His family don’t know about his problem. I don’t know whether to tell them or not. I feel like I’ve exhausted all options and he just won’t listen to me.

[allyoop]

I don't have any easy answers for you but I wanted to say that this is happening to you as much as it's happening. Your needs and your hopes for the future matter. I hope that he can understand that once you reach this point no amount of money will ever be enough to undo the damage that he's already done.

[Pikachu]

Hi @TaylahG,
Welcome to the Forums and thank you for sharing this with us.
It is not easy in your situation, the feeling that you can't do anything to help make the situation better is tough. I am glad you are sharing this here with us. This might sound harsh, but there is nothing much you can do but take care of yourself. You are the priority of yourself. I have included some recourse in the welcome message we sent you. There is counselling and peer support you can access. Getting some support can help you better manage the situation and can also give you a clearer idea on what you can do. https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/he ... nversation This link has some information about how to start a conversation, even though it refers to substances use, but the idea is transferable.
Let us know if there is anything we can help you with by tagging myself or @Printemps. Take care!