My story

[Bradj]

Hi all,

First time post to share my journey. 32 years old and been a problem gambler since turning 18 when my family took me to dinner at a club. Winning $1000 bucks first time started the chase and since then I have had addiction.

I have used gambling as an escape from stress and the addiction grew significantly when I moved from the country to the city. I estimate I have lost at least $300k to pokies. My low point came when I went from owning a car, good savings to having 100k in loans purely from gambling. Bets went from 50 cents in the beginning to at the worst $300 a spin on online pokies.

I have been to therapy and have been fortunate that my dad understood, lent me money and took away all access to cash I had. My partner has also stuck by me and provided support - she now controls the accounts.

I consider myself lucky it happened early in life and have been able to recover. The financial problems are gone now but I continue to struggle with the urge to gamble. Since covid lockdowns ended, I find myself at clubs every month and I feel terrible. My partner doesn't know I'm back at it and have lost another 15k this year. Gambling is a terrible disease. I am going to start counselling again. The constant lying is killing me. My partner thinks all my pay goes into the joint account but as always I found a way to redirect some into an account she doesn't know about.

I was off gambling for 3 years and am so disappointed with myself to be back here again. The money is one thing but the guilt of hiding it from loved ones and the constant lying to myself that I have it under control hurts the most.

Long rant but wanted to get stuff off my chest. Thanks for reading. My journey clearly needs to continue

[Renee]

Hi Brad, just wanted to say that I’m sorry you’re struggling with this and good work for coming into the site. It isn’t easy.

I too have messed up recently after over 3 years not gambling but have found myself back in it and I don’t know how to pull myself out of it. Redound this site after many years. Feeling so messed up for the same reasons you do. Hoping to get my life back again.

[Pikachu]

Hi @Bradj,
Welcome to the forums. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Fighting gambling is tough. Three years of no gamble, that is amazing. Perhaps thinking what helped you in those three years, and you can use those strategies this time as well. Also thinking about some triggers might be helpful. Things like your feelings, passing by a venue or a stressful day. Once you can identify some triggers, you can have some strategies in place to help you prepare when those moments are here.
This forum is a great place to check in from time to time to keep track of your progress, and sometimes other members provide great strategies and support. If you need anything from the team, feel free to tag myself or @Printemps in your post, and we will try our best to help you. Also check out the 100 Day challenge we have in this forum. You are welcome to have a look at others' journey, they are inspiring. And when you are ready, you are welcome to start your own thread and keep track of your progress.

[ilonlern]

Are you speaking about online casinos or offline casinos? If talking about online casinos, I think it will be possible to play some games on them, but the question remains with withdrawing the money. In my opinion, it won't be possible, so you will lose the money you have deposited and the money you won by gambling on that online casino.