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  • My reasons for change

    A place for our whole Gambling Help Online community to connect. Includes special forum events, monthly rundowns and a place to chat with forum friends.
    HelpfulBee
    Moderator
    Posts: 79
    Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:15 pm

    My reasons for change

    Thu Feb 25, 2021 3:57 pm

    You’re here because you want to make a change to your gambling.

    You’ve noticed that it’s become a problem for you and you’ve decided that enough is enough.

    But what are your reasons?

    I ask because we know that really thinking about our reasons for wanting to make a change, talking them out, or writing them down can have a profound effect on our motivation.

    Think about those impacts of your gambling. Think about the consequences. Think about why it needs to stop, and write it down.

    Is it the financial consequences? The effects on your relationships? How it makes you feel about yourself? Is it all you can think about? Are you sick of chasing those wins? Or how desperate you feel once you’ve finally realised you’ve lost?

    Eeryone’s reasons are different... But what are your reasons for stopping gambling?

    @pamela @JB-nsw @Kevcollingwood @JinxyWolf @Damaged_Armour
    2 x
    User avatar
    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 377
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: My reasons for change

    Thu Feb 25, 2021 6:14 pm

    Hi @HelpfulBee ,

    My reasons are simple, my gambling addiction was suffocating me. It was wreaking havoc in every aspect of my life, if I refused to confront the truth and get the help I so desperately needed I would soon have nothing left. I was lying to those closest to me, spending every dollar I earned and the shame and guilt I felt everyday was crushing my soul.

    I was dying inside and no one could see it. I wouldn't allow any one too. I hid it so well not even the people closest too me knew just how much pain I was in. I no longer recognized myself in the mirror, I hated the person staring back at me. This person who could lie so easily to those she loved, so it was time, this had gone on long enough. After 15 years of pissing away all my hard earned money I was finally ready to get help.

    So I joined to forum and got an email councellor and the rest is history :cool: :cool:

    I can now look in the mirror and finally be proud of the person looking back :D

    Stay Strong my Courageous friends.

    JinxyWolf
    2 x
    Kevcollingwood
    Member
    Posts: 66
    Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2020 5:23 pm

    Re: My reasons for change

    Thu Feb 25, 2021 8:17 pm

    @JinxyWolf wow, I do not have to say a word, this was me to a tee, I would have included the time I can never recover, the time I missed with my children, thanks for the inclusion @HelpfulBee
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    HelpfulBee
    Moderator
    Posts: 79
    Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:15 pm

    Re: My reasons for change

    Thu Feb 25, 2021 9:54 pm

    Hi @JinxyWolf @Kevcollingwood ,

    Thank you for sharing your insights with our community.

    I'm sure many can relate to your reasons for wanting to make a change.

    It sounds like gambling had a really significant and pervasive effect on your wellbeing in many different ways.

    @JinxyWolf, It really sounds like the times in your life where you were gambling were really dark and lonely. It sounds like you carried a heavy burden of shame and guilt. I'm glad to hear that you were able to make the positive changes you needed to turn things around. What's your life like now?

    @Kevcollingwood I sense that there is a bit of regret there for the time that has been lost. We can't change our past, but we can use it to shape our future. Has stopping gambling helped you live more in line with your values and what's important to you?
    1 x
    User avatar
    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 377
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: My reasons for change

    Fri Feb 26, 2021 5:30 pm

    Hi @HelpfulBee,

    My life is awesome :cool: :cool:

    Since quitting gambling my life has changed in ways I could never have imagined. I have rediscovered old passions and developed new ones.
    Developed coping strategies that not only helped me quit but also help me in other areas of my life. I discovered a strength I never knew I had.

    The guilt and shame I was carrying has been lifted and has been replaced by pride and happiness. Pride in myself for having the courage to finally ask for help and for having the strength see this journey through. In the 4 short years since I quit gambling I've been able to buy my first brand new car, new set of golf clubs and renovate my kitchen. Something I would never have been able to accomplish If I had continued gambling.

    I am still continuing on my journey to remain gamble free as I know this is a lifetime commitment and I do often come back to the forum to remind myself of this when things get tough. It helps me so much to know that this forum is here, to have somewhere to go where I know that there are people who have my back.

    Thanks
    JinxyWolf
    3 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Moderator
    Posts: 635
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: My reasons for change

    Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:26 pm

    Well done @JinxyWolf ! What an incredible journey, with so many ongoing achievements!! :D
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1952
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: My reasons for change

    Fri Feb 26, 2021 6:39 pm

    I sometimes wonder how I functioned while I was gambling.
    Life seemed to be a blur..
    Like everyone I was drowning in misery and financial difficulty.
    I was a liar.i was ashamed.
    I needed to change.And I did
    3 x
    Seahorse1
    Moderator
    Posts: 10
    Joined: Sat Oct 24, 2020 3:58 pm

    Re: My reasons for change

    Sat Feb 27, 2021 12:39 pm

    Hey @pamela that is so nice to hear - you have made a change and have stuck by it no matter how hard it became sometimes. It is about pushing through isn't it, sometimes some days are so much harder than others but trying to also see what it might feel like, waking up to a new day where you haven't gambled. Thank you for sharing your story - we would love to hear more too, if you're up for it!
    1 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1952
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: My reasons for change

    Mon Mar 01, 2021 9:40 am

    I often wonder why I chose to gamble and I think the answer changes often.
    I was bored,lonely,upset,..the list goes on.
    Was I unhappy?
    Not necessarily.
    I really believe it was just a habit,my mind was wired to gamble on payday and that's what I did
    I tried to convince myself "I wouldn't go this week .".but as soon as that money went into my account I was itching to get it and gamble on the pokies.
    There I felt safe from the outside world.
    But..I know now that the outside world is actually the safe place..and a pokies venue is not.
    That came from lots of rethinking,and determination.
    Even though I am going through a really rough patch,I know gambling is not the solution.
    Have I been tempted?
    No...but I really liked the thought of the anonymity that a pokies venue offered..but I chose other ways to deal with my grief.
    We all have reasons for gambling..but really what reasons do we have???
    Don't give up the good fight..life is too precious to be weighed down with the burden of gambling
    2 x
    Kevcollingwood
    Member
    Posts: 66
    Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2020 5:23 pm

    Re: My reasons for change

    Mon Mar 01, 2021 5:45 pm

    @HelpfulBee yes, a lot of regret for the lost time over 40 + years, not only the time, the avoidance of friends and people, I just wanted to be left alone to gamble. Today is 60 days, in that time I have gone back to being human. Yes am living my values once again, the important thing? giving up gambling so I can afford to retire one day.
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