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This is a place for anyone affected by problems relating to gambling - those with lived experience, friends and family. It's a great place to make friends and connect with peers, keep track of your recovery efforts, be inspired and motivated by others, be liberated, share your strategies and help others.

SPECIAL EVENT on now - Q&A with Dr Jane Oakes on connection between alcohol and gambling.

Feel sick, so ashamed, dont want to admit I have an issue

Discuss and ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
Elizabeth-Jane
Junior Member
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:27 pm

Feel sick, so ashamed, dont want to admit I have an issue

Fri Mar 15, 2019 7:55 pm

I have had big losses in the past, currently in so much debt, went to club hoping to win the badge draw or Keno, ended up losing $300, which is realistically my families grocery money for the week. I am so ashamed, not sure what I can do... dont want to admit my loss to my partner, will need to hide it again. I am such a loser
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How the F did I get here
Senior Member
Posts: 248
Joined: Sun Apr 08, 2018 11:05 pm

Re: Feel sick, so ashamed, dont want to admit I have an issue

Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:28 pm

Hi EJ,

Good on you for coming here, clearly you know there's a problem then. You can't fix this until you do admit it.

I can def relate to big debt. After I burned through some good savings, I racked up 25k in credit card debt. So depressing, and then you end up going back just hoping to win to help with the money issues you created by these machines.

Do your partner know you gamble at all?
How long have you been gambling?
Hate to break it to you but in my opinion to get out of this nightmare you need to turn over control of your finances or most of it anyway. Dont kid yourself and think you can do it, in the early stages of trying to rid yourself of this demon anyway. Maybe in the future, but I believe for majority control of money needs to be elsewhere in early stages.

Like seriously it's just so hard to say do this or that, Cos I know I went to and fro for ages.
All I can say is I never thought I'd get out of the nightmare, and life is so amazing without gambling, believe me!!

Take baby steps and your debt will go down and savings up.
Wesley mission have free financial counsellors who can help you with budgeting and negotiating with creditors if needed.

Don't waste anymore of your life/soul on gambling, and that constant feeling of being a loser/failure ends up wreaking havoc on your self esteem/worth, that's what I'm trying to repair now. you can do it!!
All the best
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FamilyFirst
Senior Member
Posts: 187
Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:38 pm

Re: Feel sick, so ashamed, dont want to admit I have an issue

Fri Mar 15, 2019 11:47 pm

Hi @Elizabeth-Jane ,

Sorry to hear of your addiction.

It makes me sad to think back to when I was you.

Spent all the money for bills, rent, food, smokes, petrol and then have to put on my happy face and walk in the front door and greet my loving family. empty handed..empty wallet... AGAIN, and again and again...

I actually just got teary eyed thinking back about it.

Your story tonight was me a couple years ago. I ended up hitting my 'rock bottom' and that was the kick up the butt I needed to quit.

Maybe this is your rock bottom? or maybe it might take a whole lot more of pain and suffering before you decide it's time to take back control of your life.

Its bloody hard to quit, but it's definitely possible. You just need to WANT to do it. Do it for you and do it for your family and friends. There will be plenty of support for you if you seek it.

I have found reading though these forums as a great tool for learning how to overcome strong urges and generally just a great place to have some accountability for our actions past and present. You will always find support here.

Be strong and choose not to gamble today.

Cheers, Lee
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BrittV (facilitator)
Senior Member
Posts: 230
Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

Re: Feel sick, so ashamed, dont want to admit I have an issue

Mon Mar 18, 2019 8:51 am

Well done on sharing your story @Elizabeth-Jane and all the best on your journey,

We are here every day for support.

Looking forward to hear how things are going for you.

BrittV, community mgr
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JAPAZ
Member
Posts: 30
Joined: Sun Mar 24, 2019 8:00 pm

Re: Feel sick, so ashamed, dont want to admit I have an issue

Sun Mar 24, 2019 8:34 pm

Regardless of what other people may or may not think, the ones who come forward are heroes to me. It is very ironic that in trying to change from a negative past for a positive present, some people may dwell on your past as if you are a bad person. Fortunately, there are many people who will offset the negative types and will become your allies and support, and will encourage you. There will be the family member or friend you least expect. There are caring counselors. There are people who reformed their lives from gambling once before and both are proud of you and are there for you.

Go with a bit of positive reinforcement. Keep telling yourself you are doing the right thing, and you are finally on a winner. A mountain of debt is another issue for another day, so don't try and solve tomorrow's issues today. One step at a time. Be bold, be courageous and be happy and kind to yourself.

One even more ironic thing about gamblers and debt. You will be amazed how fast you can pay off your debt when you quit gambling. Gamblers often had a knack of not over indulging in life because they wanted to spend every last penny betting. Look, over time, you'll need to be a bit kind to yourself and reward yourself for not gambling with holidays and the odd night out of delicious food. But I am telling you from experience, as soon as I stopped gambling, I realised I was actually extremely good with my money, as I never otherwise spent it on anything else.

There are plenty of other well documented tricks with managing one's cashflow too, but one step at a time.
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