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  • How did gambling get me?

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2019 9:19 pm

    How did gambling get me?

    Thu Feb 14, 2019 1:31 am

    so ill be quick as its a very long story but ill keep it simple, I have always battled addictions since a young age starting marijuana for a few years but lost interest moved on to poly substance abuse for about 5yrs give or take but then I was prescribed to Oxycontin for a work injury at 17yr old. that very quickly with the help of some people I knew at the time I realized the potential to abuse them and with a dodgy doctor upping to a ridiculous amount of opioids. like most people in that situation it led me to a long dark tunnel of heroin addiction, many years past and lost a lot of family and friends because I couldn't be completely trusted. At some stage I was sick of losing everything and stepped towards help and started my process to becoming opioid free, of course many relapses and a few years in Jail I eventually stepped out the other side clean.

    I met my amazing fiancée not long after release and she took me in because she thought she could see something in me no one else could, so I didn't even have a chance luckily to run into anyone I used to deal with and I didn't look back at who I once was. Fast forward 3-4yrs we are engaged have a daughter that's 9mnths and her son that's 5. I had come so far from who I was when I had an addiction that made me be stuck in one position and honestly thought I would continue to be addiction free, I have a great job with a great income but unfortunately with the big income come 12-14hrs a day 6 days a week plus 3hrs traveling back and forth each day. that put a lot of strain on the relationship with the kids because they don't understand why im not there much and that would make me extremely upset. I was working so hard and missing out on so much so I could give them a good life and be part of things but in return I was never home and the kids at times would never really want to bond with me and the partner was struggling a lot on her own and doesn't want me working there anymore.

    At the age of 26 I am numb and feel like a burden to my loved ones and wish they didn't have to put up with my actions.. I feel as if I need to stop now or I will lose all I have or years down the track without help or support I may take my own life because im sick of hurting the ones I care about.

    I was always so confused to how people could become addicted to gambling and lose everything they have made and the ones they loved, I was just genuinely interested in the fact that people can be so controlled by two different things but be so destroyed and made to feel so low but couldn't stop on their own. I never thought gambling would grab me and especially not as hard and over powering as it has, I can be fine all week but as soon as payday and I have money on me that's spare I will lie to myself and say only 20-$100. knowing full well once I lose any small amount I feel defeated and like I have let everyone down and want to make it back and cant seem to pull myself up and stop until I hit my maximum withdrawal. then once I feel like a worthless excuse for a family man I slowly make my way home completely hating who I have become and what I am doing to my relationship with my family.

    I am honestly ready to stop this filthy addiction and get whats important back on track, I have destroyed my keycard and am going to restrict my max withdraw so I can still access my funds to support the family. sorry for the long story but I didn't know what to say as I have never opened up to a forum or group of people about my problems before.

    2 x
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1106
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: How did gambling get me?

    Thu Feb 14, 2019 7:32 am


    Welcome to the GHO forums.

    You have done the first major step to recovery. There s' many stories to read on here and know that you are not alone.

    Perhaps watch KAChing Pokies Nation :'-you can find if you googled.

    It is a rough start to a gamble free life and YOU Can do it!

    Mona (16 months gamble free tomorrow!)
    1 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1744
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: How did gambling get me?

    Thu Feb 14, 2019 9:11 am

    Hi and welcome..it sounds like you have overcome a lot of obstacles so there is no reason you cant beat this one..you have made a great start by coming here and already you have plans to limit your cash etc..give your fiance control of your finances..carry no cash ..and most importantly think about what you can really lose by gambling..your family..that is more than the money..take it one day at a time..good luck
    3 x
    Senior Member
    Posts: 103
    Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:13 am

    Re: How did gambling get me?

    Thu Feb 14, 2019 9:40 am

    Hi @Slade92

    I'm Tim Tam one of the facilitators on GH Online.

    Thank you for sharing your post, it can take a lot of courage to open up about your personal life online.

    Its so good to read that you are determined to make changes and have began taking steps to do so.

    I gathered that your long working hours has a lot to do with your gambling urges, its a way to destress from the day.
    It can be difficult to overcome these urges, but trying to find other alternative activities to satisfy these urges is most important. So finding other ways of winding down and relaxing after work.
    You have already overcome drugs which is a massive achievement considering that it can be quite difficult to do so.
    Have you considered getting further help such as gambling/financial counselling or self-exclusion (banning yourself from venues)?
    This could be helpful.

    Kind regards,

    Tim Tam
    2 x
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 485
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: How did gambling get me?

    Thu Feb 14, 2019 9:57 am

    Hi @Slade92 and welcome to the forums. As the others have already said - well done on sharing your story and taking the first steps.
    You will find a lot of understanding and support here.

    I just thought I would mention I'm not sure if you've seen if yet but you might find some helpful info from our financial counsellor Q&A - she offers some really helpful ideas with precautions to protect your money.

    Take care, BrittV - community manager.
    2 x
    Sadly, it's my last week as Community Manager. Wishing everyone all the best!
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Thu Feb 07, 2019 9:19 pm

    Re: How did gambling get me?

    Thu Feb 14, 2019 8:17 pm

    cheers guys I appreciate the kind words and support.
    I have actually sent away a black list form im just waiting to hear back from them or how ever the process ill need to do more venues but as we have relocated.

    I believe I will do fine without it but I mistakably have thought that many times before difference this time is I wont have immediate access to cash and that will be a massive help until I can trust myself to be strong enough to make reasons to postpone it or avoid it.

    i will keep all you guys informed its a start to wanting to change at least most my other addictions lasted for years and i needed to lose the lot before i would pull up, luckily i must of learnt from those mistakes.

    1 x
    Senior Member
    Posts: 188
    Joined: Fri Mar 17, 2017 7:38 pm

    Re: How did gambling get me?

    Thu Feb 14, 2019 11:54 pm

    Hi @TimTam

    Sorry to hear about your situation. You've made a great start by getting it off ya chest. I found the more people I told the more strength it gave me. I'm with Pam when she says that you've overcome a few obstacles in life so far and that this current battle will be won.

    Be the family man that you wish to be. It gives me great pride to be able to provide for my family properly now. I almost lost my partner and two kids over my gambling.

    Be strong and just think how hard you have to work for the money you throw away on gambling.

    Cheers, Lee
    2 x

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