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  • 100 days challenge number two

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Fri Feb 12, 2016 7:14 pm

    Pretty busy and stressful week at work, which creates thoughts of wanting to gamble to block it out. Having money increases those desires as well.

    Pay goes in, the two payday loans get direct debited, I pay some money off my two credit cards and personal loan.
    Doesn't leave much for a long fortnight again.
    Go and gamble the demons tell me. As on another Friday night I sit in my unit alone.
    Don't have a partner, kids, mates up here.
    My demon tells me to Go put all those stresses aside, it will be exciting.
    You will win money and be able to pay off those debts, fix your car. Buy back all those things you sold to cash converters.
    And by buy back I mean buy new ones to replace them.

    And that's the prior to the gambling part of my cycle.
    I would go to the casino, blow all my cash.
    Promise myself I will never gamble again.
    Take out two more payday loans and continue the struggle until next payday.
    Then repeat again!

    I will not be part of that cycle today.
    Day 14 today.
    As they say at AA I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1691
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Fri Feb 12, 2016 11:28 pm

    Well done..the cycle can be broken..it wont be long before the desire to gamble diminishes..no more payday loans..no more pawnbrokers..it is empowering to say no..keep up the good work
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sat Feb 13, 2016 6:11 pm

    Thank you Pamela,
    Day 15 today. Went and did a 5km run this morning, then got called into work. Keeps me busy at least!
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1691
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sat Feb 13, 2016 7:07 pm

    Doing really well ..keep it up..soon gambling will be a thing of the past..no gambling today
    0 x
    Dave68
    Senior Member
    Posts: 320
    Joined: Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sun Feb 14, 2016 1:18 am

    Great effort there SW1, you defeated the demon this week with your determination to not let his false promises seduce you and your money. Always try and think back to the reality that the gambling demon wants you to lose, and wants you to feel miserable and remorseful. It's kind of like a drug (mind you i've never taken drugs) but the short term hit has the consequences of a lifetime of debt, wasted opportunities and regrets.

    I'm also amazed at the 5 klm run you did..gee i'd honestly struggle to walk that far. Maybe my fitness is an issue, but for me my most important focus is just to stay away from losing money gambling. 22 months now pokie free and even though i regularly play the FB apps....it's good because i know i am not spending anything. And to be honest, i lose so often even playing that, it's simply a reminder of why i should never play a real pokie. However, i kind of get a bit of escapism by playing them , thinking of the fun times many years ago at the casino, the music and stuff is kind of therapeutic in a sense. But importantly i know the money and gambling nexus is broken. I just have to accept that only time can heal the wounds. Hope the house gains some value and the debts whittle down. Long term stuff, and only tiny steps on that front. But it's all i can do, and for you SW1 it's a similar sort of thing. Every day as you say you don't gamble is a victory and eventually you will be able to recover. You're also much younger than me, so you have more time to fix it too. Remember that, it's a great advantage to have!
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sun Feb 14, 2016 8:55 am

    Gday dave68,
    It was a very slow 5km run! More of a jog.
    Its a thing called parkrun, that I have started going to on a Saturday morning.
    They run them all around Australia. Ive only been twice, but would like to turn it into something I do every Saturday. Each time you run your time is recorded, and Put on the internet. I'd like to improve my time. 29 minutes yesterday, my goal is to get it under 25.
    I haven't given the online free pokies a go yet. I might look into those! If I can play those instead of the casino/pub ones I'd be laughing.
    I am really busy with work at the moment, so my times thinking about gambling are a lot less!
    Day 16 today, I will not gamble
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1691
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Sun Feb 14, 2016 12:46 pm

    Every day without gambling is a good day
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Mon Feb 15, 2016 6:36 am

    Pamela yes, Every day is a good day without gambling! I have to remind myself of that. Today will be a good day, I will not gamble.
    Day 17 today
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Tue Feb 16, 2016 6:43 am

    Day 18 today, I will not gamble today.
    0 x
    SW1
    Senior Member
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Mon Feb 17, 2014 6:43 pm

    Re: 100 days challenge number two

    Tue Feb 16, 2016 6:12 pm

    A lot of thoughts of gambling this afternoon.
    And telling myself I will win money.
    The engine light on my car is now on and it has started to misfire while I'm driving it.
    I've had this car for just under ten years now.
    I got it new the last time I lived in Darwin. I was salary sacrificing it. Things were going pretty well. I had lived in Darwin for a few years and hadn't been gambling. I had bought a really nice unit and could still afford to salary sacrifice a new car with the good wage I was on. Because I was leaving Darwin I was getting rent for the unit, so that helped out.
    A little over a year later I had to sell that unit because of gambling. Darwins real estate prices were on a very steep rise up, so I made a healthy profit.
    At about the same time I got an opportunity to work overseas for a while and earn a lot of money.
    So when I returned, I had a lot of money.
    I paid out the salary sacrifice on the car. But still had a very healthy bank account.
    All that money was gone within 6 months, gambled and pssd up the wall.
    However I still had a nice car, a Subaru which I owned at least. I have gambled heavily since then, and ended up with two credit cards, which are huge amounts, a large personal loan. No furniture, savings etc.
    Over the years that car has been neglected. I stopped insuring it.
    About FIVE years ago, I hit a concrete bollard and almost ripped the front bumper off, the front headlight is damaged and my indicator doesn't work.
    I have serviced it once in 5 years.
    The exhaust had a huge hole in it and needs replacing.
    My engine light is now permanently on when I drive, and it is starting to misfire.
    As I have moved to the nt, I have to transfer my rego, which means a road worthiness inspection. (Therefore the car has to be fixed before, which will cost thousands) then the cost of getting the inspection, then paying for rego and a new license. This has to be done soon.
    I don't have the money to do it, because I have gambled it.
    Bit driving home in that clapped out car, I am thinking of gambling!!
    This is the insanity of this disease!
    I don't think rationally anymore.
    There's no thoughts of ' well this is the problem, I will fix it this way'
    With every hurdle that pops up in life I either drink, gamble or ignore it until it becomes worse and then drink or gamble!!
    0 x

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