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  • The Cycle of Deceit

    Is someone you care about experiencing issues with gambling? Come in here to discuss your concerns, connect, and get some helpful tips.
    Anita44
    Senior Member
    Posts: 377
    Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 9:30 pm

    Re: The Cycle of Deceit

    Sun Jul 04, 2021 5:02 pm

    Hi Joan
    I been read your story and I am so sorry that you have to go thought all this, you deserve someone better in life.
    You can't change a person unless they wanted to change for their own good.
    Make sure you look after yourself first, make sure you treat yourself something nice.
    I would recommend you talk to your parents, cos I'm sure the more support you have it's better for you.
    Before I stop gamble I tell my partner parents that I lost all my saving money etc, I feel a shame, but I gain their trust and support, we all have our chance in life to make it right, but you only can give so much until you give up, enough it's enough.
    I'm not gamble for almost 2 month now feeling proud of myself and if I do gamble again I will think twice before I start again, cos I am happy where I am now so I don't need to gamble anymore.
    sometime love its blind.
    1 x
    Jimap
    Member
    Posts: 56
    Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:17 pm

    Re: The Cycle of Deceit

    Tue Jul 06, 2021 8:32 pm

    Hi @Joan
    Sorry to hear he has now started dealing in the drug scene to support his habit. This is very risky and if he was to get caught could cause him to lose his job and have a criminal record. It sounds like you are doing more work at trying to beat this disease of addiction than he is. I know it’s hard to watch him destroy himself. The emotional pain is excruciating when seeing someone you love hurt themselves and those around them. Please think of yourself and your future happiness. I am only now starting to see things a bit clearer after 10 months of separating from my ex. I was still clinging on to hope he would ‘wake up’ and go get treatment when he moved out…it hasn’t happened and I have had to stop a lot of contact to allow myself space to heal and grieve. While he is in active addiction he will make unhealthy and unsafe choices but that doesn’t mean you have to. What do you want for your future? Take the energy you put into supporting him into yourself. While he sees no reason to change he won’t. Take care of you and know that you deserve better…
    1 x
    Joan
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2015 10:37 am

    Re: The Cycle of Deceit

    Fri Jul 09, 2021 6:16 pm

    I came across a paragraph in one of the fiction books I was reading a few months ago and felt the need to make a note of it because it runs so deep and I thought I'd share it with you all.

    "The mind and the heart—intellect and emotions, facts and feelings. They're both important. But to live well, we need to make decisions based on logic and reason modified by emotion. If we're guided only or even largely by emotion ... Well, the heart often wants what it doesn't really need, and sometimes it wants what it shouldn't have, something with the potential to ruin your life. It wants something so intensely that we find it easy to do what the heart wants even if we know it's reckless."
    3 x
    Jimap
    Member
    Posts: 56
    Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:17 pm

    Re: The Cycle of Deceit

    Fri Jul 09, 2021 7:57 pm

    @Joan Ain’t that the truth…🙏
    2 x
    Jimap
    Member
    Posts: 56
    Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:17 pm

    Re: The Cycle of Deceit

    Sat Jul 24, 2021 9:38 pm

    Hi @Joan hope all is going well in your world..🙏
    2 x
    Joan
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Fri Mar 27, 2015 10:37 am

    Re: The Cycle of Deceit

    Thu Jul 29, 2021 10:24 pm

    Hi @Jimap thank you for reaching out, to be honest I've been thinking about you lately.
    Things are OK between me and my boyfriend... still managing his accounts and there hasn't been any shocking surprises from his end. He's doing OK, just trying to find himself a more affordable rental property now that lockdown has been lifted in Melbourne.
    As for myself...meh. Im trying to take each day as it comes and to keep reminding myself to stop anticipating something bad happening.
    I also took your advice and downloaded that book you recommended :); women who love too much? Thank you, I appreciate it.
    Anyway how are you going? Hope you're well xx
    1 x
    Jimap
    Member
    Posts: 56
    Joined: Thu Apr 01, 2021 2:17 pm

    Re: The Cycle of Deceit

    Sat Jul 31, 2021 11:36 am

    Hi @Joan Thanks for thinking of me…glad you guys are going okay. Let’s hope you don’t get any more surprises and your partner continues on a road towards recovery. I am okay some days are better than others which is to be expected. I have started to work with a break up recovery life coach and it has been motivating me to keep moving forward and opening my eyes to what I went through over the 15 years of my relationship. Now I am out and looking at from a different point of view I have realised how toxic it has been for me. My ex continues to gamble and to be honest it so so good not to have to live with that rollercoaster of addiction every day..take care and enjoy that book, I read it twice it was so good❤️
    1 x

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