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  • Snapped after a month

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Agent79
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:11 pm

    Snapped after a month

    Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:03 pm

    Well, it happened. After almost a month away, I snapped. I felt there has been no progress. I went back to the pokies and spent some of the money I saved for a holiday in the long weekend. I have failed myself and my entire reputation. I do not plan on going back to the GA meeting because I walked away after two meetings, it was enough for me to stay away. Going back would make me feel like a traitor. My distraction to keep me away were my hobbies, but now I am feeling drained doing that as well. Any improvement I try to make is a complete joke, there are not the sort of steps that I would consider big changes. I honestly have a lot of respect for people who do this and succeed, from what I have seen, most people have family that they do not want to fall apart.

    I am a very private person. My family do not know. My friends are doing their own thing and do not know. At 23, I should have things sorted in life, full-time job, a girlfriend, good hobbies, but no I am mixed in with most of the dropkicks from high school (having kids they do not care about or cannot afford, heavy drug use and ODing before I am 30 etc.)
    1 x
    AGHS
    Junior Member
    Posts: 10
    Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2017 10:43 am

    Re: Snapped after a month

    Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:20 pm

    Hi Agent79, relapses are a normal part of the process when trying to give up gambling. Best thing is to acknowledge is that you slipped - up and start again.........what triggered this relapse, sit down and think about it. Think about other things that you can do when you feel the urge. You say you are finding your hobbies boring, perhaps you need to reconsider what hobbies you are doing......perhaps consider learning some new skills to challenge your brain or even volunteer in your community. Don't let the gambling control YOU, you can and will control the gambling. Consider barring yourself from the venues around you, you will be amazed at how easy this simple step will allow you the time to heal and think. It is as simple as approaching a worker at the pub and asking them to bar you........believe me, you will feel a huge relief and it will empower you also. I was a gambler.....it was a long challenging road but I am glad to say I haven't gambled for quite a few years now, and I don't get any urges anymore, my first step was barring myself. Don't give up on yourself...... you are young, you obviously want help to stop gambling.....set yourself a few achievable goals, even something as simple as going out walking for 30 minutes a day will help. You say you didn't like the GA meetings, that's fine, doesn't suit everyone, perhaps phone a counsellor on the gambling helpline, that may work better for you........stay strong because you are worth it. The pokies don't care if you're broke, angry, fed-up...they just want your money.........let not the machine rule you.....
    4 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 359
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Snapped after a month

    Thu Sep 12, 2019 5:17 pm

    Hi @Agent79

    I'm Calvin, one of the facilitators.

    As @AGHS said, slip ups are normal and maybe you do need to reconsider or try different hobbies,

    Sounds like you;re experiencing alot of stress surrounding what you 'should' be doing or who you 'should' be at age 23, everyone has their own individual journey. Sometimes we do come to a point in our lives where we assess what we want and need. In those times it can be helpful to write down some realistic short term and long term goals to gain a bit more of perspective or whats important for you. This can also encourage change.
    Changing a habit in our lives can be difficult because sometimes these toxic habits can become a part of our routine.
    Keep track of your urges along the way.
    Try signing up to the 100 day challenge app and as @AGHS mentioned, calling the helpline can be helpful as we are 24/7 and can provide a referral to a gambling counsellor for further support.

    Kind regards,

    Calvin
    1 x
    clearthatmind
    Member
    Posts: 30
    Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2018 11:26 am

    Re: Snapped after a month

    Wed Sep 18, 2019 7:57 am

    AGHS wrote:
    Thu Sep 12, 2019 1:20 pm
    Hi Agent79, relapses are a normal part of the process when trying to give up gambling. Best thing is to acknowledge is that you slipped - up and start again.........what triggered this relapse, sit down and think about it. Think about other things that you can do when you feel the urge. You say you are finding your hobbies boring, perhaps you need to reconsider what hobbies you are doing......perhaps consider learning some new skills to challenge your brain or even volunteer in your community. Don't let the gambling control YOU, you can and will control the gambling. Consider barring yourself from the venues around you, you will be amazed at how easy this simple step will allow you the time to heal and think. It is as simple as approaching a worker at the pub and asking them to bar you........believe me, you will feel a huge relief and it will empower you also. I was a gambler.....it was a long challenging road but I am glad to say I haven't gambled for quite a few years now, and I don't get any urges anymore, my first step was barring myself. Don't give up on yourself...... you are young, you obviously want help to stop gambling.....set yourself a few achievable goals, even something as simple as going out walking for 30 minutes a day will help. You say you didn't like the GA meetings, that's fine, doesn't suit everyone, perhaps phone a counsellor on the gambling helpline, that may work better for you........stay strong because you are worth it. The pokies don't care if you're broke, angry, fed-up...they just want your money.........let not the machine rule you.....
    Really helpful comments, I appreciate your post friend
    2 x
    Trust in Jehovah with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways take notice of him, and he will make your paths straight...Proverbs 3:5, 6

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