FAILED! Back to square one

[Tilney]

I’m so annoyed with myself! I was doing so well, I got to day 24 without the pokies, and was feeling great, never happier, I’d managed to save about a thousand bucks and this morning I went a fucking blew it all! Every cent of it! Cannot believe i did it! Broke again!!

What does this mean? How could I have been so stupid!?

[dragon007 (facilitator)]

Hi @Tilney
I'm sorry to read that you have had a temporary setback.

Try to learn from this experience, look at the circumstances, the triggers of why you gambled. try to work out a strategy on how not to repeat the experience and try to apply it to other situations.

Try not to beat yourself up too much.

And start again, day zero, you will get there!

Take care
dragon007

[Tilney]

Thank you so much. I do appreciate being able to vent and have someone to listen to me.

I’m trying not to beat myself up too much, it’s disappointing and it just feels like I undid so much hard work. Day zero, that’s right. I have to just move on from here and understand the reasons I’m giving it up and also the triggers of what sent me back there. Thanks again :)

[dragon007 (facilitator)]

Hi @Tilney

I think it helps to take a moment and be happy with the things and people you have rather than focusing on what you have lost.

Patience is really the key to recovery, try not to look to far ahead, focus on today, enjoy today, don't take today for granted, you are more than your gambling losses, don't let that be your focus, focus on things and people you love and enjoy.

Take care.
dragon007

[pamela]

Don't beat yourself up..dust yourself off and start again

[Tilney]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. Day one starts again tomorrow!

[ICU]

Hi Tilney

Consider the relapse as a learning experience and not a failure.
It sounds to me that you may need to look at ways of lcking your funds away.
Mybudget (google) may be able to help. Talking to your bank about setting limits on your withdrawals.
There are several other stratagies for cash control, I am happy to discuss this further if you feel that that might help.

Also I do not consider it to be day zero, you made a decision to quit gambling, a relapse is a speed hump in the road, so really you are still on the same road.

I run a program for people who relise that they are suffering gambling harm and want to do something about it.

I relate the process of giving up gambling to canoeing in a rapid river. Once you realise that you have a problem, you have started paddling, along the way you will tire (relapse) this only drifts you back, not to the start.

Once we realise we have stopped paddling and we are drifting back we need to paddle harder and look at why our arms got so tired and make choices to make changes.

Hope this makes sense to you.

You are heading in the right direction, just keep paddling.