My Low point
I'm reaching out again to the forum to get help.
I do apologies if this is all over the place I'm trying to write this before bed.
My name is Frost I'm a 25yr old girl in Brisbane who's having a bad time.
Not as bad as some others but it was such a horrible feeling tonight...... I tried to apply for a online cash loan... and I got REJECTED.
Just for $200... the system said no.
I never really had a problem with gambling until Sept 2013.... Where my car blew its 3rd cylinder and I had to apply to the bank to get a loan to get a new car..... I got rejected then because my sub contract work wasn't really counted as consistent income. They only noted my casual work.
I took that so hard the fact I had to rely on my parents for another loan (was still paying off study loan) .
Since then I've gotten better I've paid the car off its mine now... and just only $3600 to go on my study loan.
I've been in a long distance relationship for 4.5 years, my boyfriend lives in Melbourne and I don't get to see him often. We talk online most nights and play games together occasionally.
We're at the point now where I'm trying to move to Melbourne... but I've been trying to make sure I have the best start in Melbourne... I dont want to move with money still owning and not having much to support myself.
He's offered countless times to pay my debts but I just won't let him cos its not fair for him to pay for my loans that I haven't paid back.
This year has been horrible.. I've had an Aunt and a Grandad pass away within 6 months of each other, there's been the emotional grieving of that... on top of work been so low and not earning enough.
I've been trying all year to move and it just seems things keep happening so I can't get ahead and move.
I am staying here till Christmas... I'm at that point now where i have to stop the sub contract work and focus on the casual cos its the busiest time of the year and if i get 5 shifts a week i make alot of money.
I hate the fact over this year when things were down i know I'm a very lucky person and Ive won big before $1000 here... $1500 there....but I keep chasing for those wins cos I know i can do them but its just not happening atm.... I even tried to fix my situation of getting a bigger credit card.. but got rejected for that... i again tonight tried to apply for a $200 cash loan to help me back on my feet but no that was rejected too..
After all this my boyfriend when we had a fight over the fact I haven't moved to Melbourne yet....... He's worried about my gambling .. he's said before he understands and supports me but I felt in that fight he was so judgmental of me and looking down on me.
Its at the point since that fight I can't be open with him about my problems anymore cos I don't want to disappoint him.
And for that I only have one close friend now who i talked to about and he helps me out financially from time to time. So he's lend me money again tonight...
I just feel trapped because I try to fix things and the universe won't let me.... I need to keep to the strategy of paying my bills FIRST...stop trying to make miracles happen with money i can't afford to lose.
So this is my low point, I'm 5 weeks away from Christmas and I'm just running out of time.
Thanks for reading.
Any thoughts are appreciated.