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  • can I see the light

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1803
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Wed May 02, 2018 5:43 am

    Hi Jo..Yes I understand what you are saying and I expected some flack .I appreciate all the struggles involved but I also know of the "excuses".I might not have gambled for nearly 3 years but I still think about the pokies,its just that over time I have learnt to control the urge and have learnt to deal differently with the reasons I used to gamble and thats half the battle.
    I used any excuse to play the pokies..happy ,sad,angry,depressed, you name it..
    That's why I say they hijack your brain until you regain control .
    And I agree relapses are part of the recovery process and I understand that and am not knocking it.
    When I read of relapses every couple of weeks..that's when I ask is it a relapse or a conscious decision?
    I want people to stop gambling and live life..it's a great gift and should be enjoyed
    Stay strong and be positive
    0 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1121
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Wed May 02, 2018 7:42 am

    I had thought along those same lines. It saddens me people have resolved to be gamble free after a gamble binge on payday and... when next pay day comes its gone out the window and the gamble demon sticks its claws in deeper... This is how It works .. it is sad.

    All the reasons we think we gamble are normal life issues we have that we don't want to deal with. We are vulnerable people and this is one reason we become addicted. People like us are the ones that gambling is aimed at. They don't care about US... they don't care that we suffer ...

    We are responsible to us... it is hard... mentally and physically...We have to always be focused on keeping that horrid gamble demon at arms legnth. It gets easier as each payday ... each urge... each temptation is overcome!

    I couldn't do it alone... I dread to think I'd still be in that demons arms had I not found this site, I focus'd on staying gamble free and thought all my problems will go away... but they haven't... I'd put them aside... dealt with gambling and now I'm seeing the psychologist to help with the issues I'm faced with.. (also to give me strength to quit smoking). I am terrified of relapse... and will do What I must to keep that demon away!

    Life is much nicer... Much easier to deal with when Not gambling!

    WIN BY NOT GAMBLING.

    You can do it!
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1803
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Thu May 03, 2018 12:21 am

    Mona I agree ..I still have some of the same issues that drove me to gamble but I just deal with it differently now.I understand people relapse..but like you said when its payday to payday..its not a relapse it's a decision to gamble .I want people to stop gambling but you have to fight for it.
    The fight is worth it
    Say no to gambling
    0 x
    Jo-Anne
    Senior Member
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 11:40 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Thu May 03, 2018 12:30 am

    Hi Pamela, I do truly see your point of view, and I know you are only wishing to help others push themselves to achieve more gamble free days and reap the so many benefits. I am so sad for people with such a huge struggle.....maybe I am being too soft but I am just concerned we don't add to their stress, as we don't really know the full story. Very probably people are much stronger than I think though so I will now just let this go...... Jo
    0 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1121
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Thu May 03, 2018 10:01 am

    That word "decisions" .... making the decision to gamble is not the rational decision of the gambler... its the decision of the machines. Gamblers rational thoughts are gone when money is available. That Is' what the fight is all about. Piercing away the demons claws bit by bit... not an easy task.

    Thinking of the past before I came to this site. It was like that for me. Payday after payday... I said never again... never again... it became paydayS evening mantra ... This went on for years... god knows... 5 years-10 years-20 Years ? WHY ... because as I understand it now... it is that the demon had planted its bug in my brain and I became Its submissive servant... payday after payday !

    Then one lonely angry desperate day some thing lead me to this site... I get upset with relapse stories but deep down I pray that that special moment will grab hold of them and they'll step on the long narrow path to recovery and Never gamble again... BUT as those of us with many gamble free days behind us know... it is a one day at a time process... to rediscover our selves and life.
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1803
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Thu May 03, 2018 12:12 pm

    Mona and Jo-Anne,I agree..I couldnt sleep the day before payday as my mind was thinking about which machine to play ..what I would do with my win.yes I dreamt of winning....and my heart would race when I woke up ..till one day I knew the time had come that I had to stop and that's what I wish for everyone here
    Anyway all I want is for people struggling not to give up hope but know there is life after gambling
    Have a great gamble free day
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1803
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Sun May 06, 2018 10:53 pm

    As some of you may know I have been coming here on and off since I stopped gambling.I am very anti pokie machines now and often wonder why I wasted so much time and money on them.I joined a group called Consumer Voice and they helped me come to terms with my gambling and to write my story and present it.I have told my story on several occasions and find it very cathartic as well as hoping it might help one person think differently.I did a few Club Safe industry talks to gaming machine employees.My problem is..I like giving these talks but I feel it is wasted on these people because poker machines/gaming pays their wages .I have been asked to give a talk again this month and I have mixed feelings..I guess I will do this session and then gauge their reaction to see if I commit to any more.
    Please keep strong and try to resist those urges
    Thanks
    0 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1121
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Mon May 07, 2018 7:05 am

    That's wonderful Pamela.

    One of the things l taught myself not to do over the years... is think what may other people think. We can never know.

    We can't save the world... but perhaps one or two people will take something meaningful from your talk. Who knows even amongst the people who work in the industry is a gambler...

    Stand up and speak with pride Pamela!
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    Jo-Anne
    Senior Member
    Posts: 457
    Joined: Fri Feb 12, 2016 11:40 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Mon May 07, 2018 9:17 am

    Pamela, What you are doing is fantastic. You may never know the good it will do down the track. Someone will benefit for sure.
    Yes totally despising the gambling industry is the way to go isn't it? It is amazing how this sustains us in recovery. I know if they ever tried to introduce machines outside of the casino here in WA, I would definitely become involved with the anti lobby group.
    I have signed a few petitions here and there against gambling advertising, but have not done anything as affirmative as you Pamela.....perhaps when I can sustain well over 12 months GF!!
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1803
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: can I see the light

    Mon May 07, 2018 11:03 am

    Thanks Mona and Jo-Anne..I am not out to change the world..just to try and make a difference.I often think how I went from one extreme to the other..and Jo I think WA is lucky that there are no machines in pubs
    ..I think they should be kept in Casinos..but while the get gets so much money from them it's hard to fight against them.But I will continue to campaign against them and hopefully offer support
    Have a great day and say no to gambling
    0 x

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