Andy wrote: ↑Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:55 amI'm 32 and even though I've been clean for 16 days I feel the need to talk about it.
I started gambling approximately when I was 18, I was enjoying going to the Casino and playing Baccarat/Roulette I would go roughly 3-4x a week and gamble with any spare cash I had available. I lived with my parents at the time so I felt as though it was disposable income. One thing going for me is that I did always attend to my bills and other responsibilities before gambling but ANY disposable income went straight into gambling. I would never buy anything for myself if I didn't have a win at the casino.
At 24 I moved from the city and lived in a rural town and gambling took a back seat for a while. Ill admit I did drive 80km a fair few times to the Casino to get my gambling fix though.
My world of gambling took a turn when online sports betting became very appealing to me. You name it and I probably bet on it. NHL, Basketball, AFL, Darts, Soccer even handball was thrown in there and I thought about gambling on interest rates OMG. It was out control for so long but I kept all my bills paid and have never owner a credit card thankfully. They only thing I owe money on is my mortgage.
It's been said before and I've read it through other stories. Chasing losses, depression, anxiety, stress, panic attacks and emotional rollercoaster gambling takes you through. Then you get on a winning streak and it's fantastic money's coming in swift and fast and I felt like I was recouping my losses. I have lost excess of 40,000 cash just through sports betting and have deposited over 150,000 over my sports betting period.
One major problem Ive had is keeping an eye on scores every single day!!!! I would be following sports even if I didn't have a bet on, then I would bet in my mind on outcomes and resent that i never placed a bet when it was in my favor. This I have battled with for a long time and the key for myself is not checking scores. Sports reports and hearing of upsets on the tv have me wondering about the odds and gambling is wanting to be revisited. At work I would keep a tab on live scores and whilst driving from A to B I would have it displayed on the dash following scores.
I have been clean from checking scores of games and gambling for 16 days, I went to Thailand and noticed their strict laws against gambling and it concerned me if caught I could face prison time in a foreign country. I still struggled and placed three bets while away and continued to look at outcomes of various sports.
I had/have to stop and even though it's only been 16 days I still wonder and hold back checking livescores every day and mentally it's still in the back of my mind. I make enough money to survive and don't need to gamble but it's a constant battle to hold myself back from checking the scores. Because I know once I check scores/matchups of games that have played or are to play I'm VERY vulnerable to gambling.
I've done the whole exclusion and banning myself for 6months etc but there's always another site to bet with and I would have signed up with more agencies then I can count. I limited myself to amounts but then would get annoyed when I had a win but wanted to bet more and couldn't.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this and neither do I necessarily expect comments. I just feel like I need to vent about my addiction.
I've gone through a divorce "not gambling related" and have had a girlfriend for 18 months, my family, girlfriend and ex know of my gambling. It never really impacted much financially because I would always have bills covered but I would never ever buy anything for myself.
I suppose one thing everyone doesn't know apart from my girlfriend is how much I really want to check the scores of games over the period I haven't checked.
I promised myself after the Thailand trip not to look at scores and gamble at all. I have been true to this for 16 days but the urge is still there every single day. I'm fit and love my exercise I work very hard and always need to occupie my brain. Boredom and down time makes me always wanting to look at scores. It's so annoying
Anyway I really hope to kick this habit, I do get concerned that the AFL premiership season is about to start and it could influence me to gamble again though.
Thanks Andy, this is a big help, im going to self exclude myself as well from all the local places, Im trying to kick this for the last time. Very proud of you, well done!