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  • My gambling story

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    kosmok
    Junior Member
    Posts: 8
    Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2015 11:20 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Wed Jun 22, 2022 10:07 am

    Andy wrote:
    Tue Mar 31, 2015 1:55 am
    I'm 32 and even though I've been clean for 16 days I feel the need to talk about it.

    I started gambling approximately when I was 18, I was enjoying going to the Casino and playing Baccarat/Roulette I would go roughly 3-4x a week and gamble with any spare cash I had available. I lived with my parents at the time so I felt as though it was disposable income. One thing going for me is that I did always attend to my bills and other responsibilities before gambling but ANY disposable income went straight into gambling. I would never buy anything for myself if I didn't have a win at the casino.

    At 24 I moved from the city and lived in a rural town and gambling took a back seat for a while. Ill admit I did drive 80km a fair few times to the Casino to get my gambling fix though.

    My world of gambling took a turn when online sports betting became very appealing to me. You name it and I probably bet on it. NHL, Basketball, AFL, Darts, Soccer even handball was thrown in there and I thought about gambling on interest rates OMG. It was out control for so long but I kept all my bills paid and have never owner a credit card thankfully. They only thing I owe money on is my mortgage.

    It's been said before and I've read it through other stories. Chasing losses, depression, anxiety, stress, panic attacks and emotional rollercoaster gambling takes you through. Then you get on a winning streak and it's fantastic money's coming in swift and fast and I felt like I was recouping my losses. I have lost excess of 40,000 cash just through sports betting and have deposited over 150,000 over my sports betting period.

    One major problem Ive had is keeping an eye on scores every single day!!!! I would be following sports even if I didn't have a bet on, then I would bet in my mind on outcomes and resent that i never placed a bet when it was in my favor. This I have battled with for a long time and the key for myself is not checking scores. Sports reports and hearing of upsets on the tv have me wondering about the odds and gambling is wanting to be revisited. At work I would keep a tab on live scores and whilst driving from A to B I would have it displayed on the dash following scores.

    I have been clean from checking scores of games and gambling for 16 days, I went to Thailand and noticed their strict laws against gambling and it concerned me if caught I could face prison time in a foreign country. I still struggled and placed three bets while away and continued to look at outcomes of various sports.

    I had/have to stop and even though it's only been 16 days I still wonder and hold back checking livescores every day and mentally it's still in the back of my mind. I make enough money to survive and don't need to gamble but it's a constant battle to hold myself back from checking the scores. Because I know once I check scores/matchups of games that have played or are to play I'm VERY vulnerable to gambling.

    I've done the whole exclusion and banning myself for 6months etc but there's always another site to bet with and I would have signed up with more agencies then I can count. I limited myself to amounts but then would get annoyed when I had a win but wanted to bet more and couldn't.

    I'm not sure where I'm going with this and neither do I necessarily expect comments. I just feel like I need to vent about my addiction.

    I've gone through a divorce "not gambling related" and have had a girlfriend for 18 months, my family, girlfriend and ex know of my gambling. It never really impacted much financially because I would always have bills covered but I would never ever buy anything for myself.

    I suppose one thing everyone doesn't know apart from my girlfriend is how much I really want to check the scores of games over the period I haven't checked.

    I promised myself after the Thailand trip not to look at scores and gamble at all. I have been true to this for 16 days but the urge is still there every single day. I'm fit and love my exercise I work very hard and always need to occupie my brain. Boredom and down time makes me always wanting to look at scores. It's so annoying

    Anyway I really hope to kick this habit, I do get concerned that the AFL premiership season is about to start and it could influence me to gamble again though.

    Thanks
    Andy

    Thanks Andy, this is a big help, im going to self exclude myself as well from all the local places, Im trying to kick this for the last time. Very proud of you, well done!
    0 x
    Andy
    Member
    Posts: 39
    Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 1:13 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Tue Jul 19, 2022 4:00 am

    Psg18 wrote:
    Wed May 04, 2022 9:41 pm
    Hi all, I’m Paul

    I have been gambling since the age of 18. I am now 34 and have had enough. The cycle is destroying my life and time is getting away from me while I continue to waste time and money with the punt.

    I was introduced to the punt when I was 18. Of course had a win the first time I did it and have been hooked since. From that moment to now, I haven’t stopped.

    Like a lot of people I tell myself I can stop anytime but I know I can’t. I convince myself just wait for that next big win and then you can stop. Just a ridiculous mindset. I will spread my money and bills thin so I can maximise gambling. I have to stop for good though. The last 16 years have been far too wasted stressing about gambling and all the other bad affects it brings

    My biggest fear is soon enough my partner will get sick of it and leave me. She has been supportive for a long time, however people can only take so much. I am posting this not just for myself, but for others who are struggling. It’s time to take back our lives. I know I want to. Thanks
    Paul
    Gday Paul, just checking in. How are you? I promised my wife that I’m not gambling this financial year. 19 days in and I feel ok, not great. Just ok, business is doing well and fitness going well. Made a call to Gambling hotline to relay my thoughts. Most days I’m still thinking about it, not about going to place a bet. Just about the amounts lost in the first 6 months of this year. I really intrenched myself into an insidious vicious binge. I’m hoping that my brain will not forget this time in my life and history won’t repeat. I do feel completely defeated and even the thought of placing a bet makes me feel sad. There’s a lot more riding on this then placing a bet, no matter the amount. I tell myself “I promise” my wife pretty much everyday.

    Your partner is already sick of it, let’s be honest. They are just not at the end game yet “leaving us”

    Hope you are doing well and if you are not. Make a promise to your partner and tell yourself everyday I promise, be accountable for the word we have all been brought up with that holds the upmost integrity.

    Andy
    0 x
    Andy
    Member
    Posts: 39
    Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 1:13 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Sat Jul 30, 2022 9:01 pm

    Gday,

    Just an update. 30 days without a punt, life has been much happier. Wife is happier, Bank is happier and I am happier. Only the last few days I have been able to get through without thinking about gambling. There was just an advert regarding betting which reminded me I hadn’t checked in here for a while. So alls good here 💪
    3 x
    Karmzmaree
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:31 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:49 am

    I’m currently in the same predicament, after literally laying down tonight only one hour again once again wasting hundreds ah let’s be real atleast $1000 on pokies just today. I know I’ve got a problem and turned to google for some help, I know I have to wake up and start fresh and stop this all so badly, I’ve been gambling ever since I was 18 that one win sucked me right in, however after having my 3rd son I didn’t do no online gambling for 9 months I was just to busy and didn’t have time for it which was a good thing however have relapsed worse than ever, I’ve been sitting here reading what others are writing and hats of to you all for getting thru it and sticking t it. My mind is reading what your writing and still being like ah I’ll just do a little betting tomorrow not as much which we all know is lies, I can’t be trusted with any money in my bank so I need to withdraw it as it comes in it worked for a bit but then I found myself going to an atm and just depositing into my account I honestly don’t know if I’ll be able to stop but I really want too I wanna save and leave money behind for my three kids not gamble it all away.. I really hope I wake up tomorrow and just try to stop
    1 x
    Amethyst29
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2022 6:52 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Tue Aug 02, 2022 7:35 am

    Hi @Karmzmaree thank you for posting. I am glad you found this space, as I am in the same position as you and know every single feeling you’re feeling very well.
    I hope today is a good day for you, feel free to reply and get out any feelings you have.
    Sending my sincere best wishes & thoughts to you
    1 x
    Karmzmaree
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:31 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Tue Aug 02, 2022 11:28 am

    I’ve woken up and so far so good my most worrying is tonight when it’s time to have some time to myself and then pick up my phone and bet again, I honestly don’t know how I’m gonna distract myself but i am going to try if anyone has any tips of things I could try to keep my mind of it please let me know. Would love to get thru day 1
    0 x
    Andy
    Member
    Posts: 39
    Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 1:13 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Tue Aug 09, 2022 4:17 pm

    Hello @Karmzmaree and @Amethyst29

    Ah it sucks having those urges. I would be lying if I said I don’t have those urges. I feel cashed up and still feel shocking at the loss this first half of the year. I have made calls to the gambling hotline and while confronting at first it’s handy to just relay your thoughts and have someone to open up to. Even if in my case wasn’t looking for a solution. We all know within ourselves when it’s gone too far.

    A solution I have adapted to is finding another addiction. I am addicted to Adrenalin, rush of chance, rush for gains and numbers. I’m at competition with myself and challenges “positive” ones at the moment. Not destructive ones “casino”. It is different and I am completely aware how easily I could fall back into placing $500 bets. I need to continuously remind myself how **** it feels to lose, the problem will be once you have put it behind you “with time”

    That is when I’ll be most vulnerable. I will need to keep checking back at my story to keep it real.

    As @Damaged_Armour says “You want to stop gambling? Ok great, put your boxing gloves on.”

    Couldn’t be any closer to the truth. It’s one hell of a battle, a never ending battle for the likes of me. At the end of the day the onus is on ourselves. No one can do it for us without losing our own independence.
    1 x
    Andy
    Member
    Posts: 39
    Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 1:13 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Thu Aug 25, 2022 12:27 am

    Good evening,

    Almost two months gambling free now. Everything is going great. I do miss it admittedly, just the thrill side of it, but I just can’t trust myself. It causes way more negatives than positives and I can’t get the fix without risking big. So, I am just going to continue working, enjoying family time and steer clear of gambling.

    Andy
    2 x
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 900
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Thu Aug 25, 2022 1:36 pm

    @Andy two months is such a great achievement!

    I think the fact that you're able to acknowledge that you cab't have anything to do with gambling is really good. It's a slippery slope from "just one punt" to being right back where you started, so great work in reflecting on that and knowing your limits
    1 x

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