My gambling story

[Calvin (facilitator)]

Great work @Andy

70 Days GF is a massive achievement! keep it up! :)

[BrittV (facilitator)]

That's really great to hear Andy, and some awesome self awareness going on.

I'm sure your partner's really proud of you too.

Thanks for the update :) Take care!

[Andy]

Ahh tail between legs.

I have just had the worst losses in 2 months then I have ever before. 21500, I feel so much shame. I should have purchased another house however wasn’t able to borrow due to my spending in the last 2 months.

So deflated, everything in life was going great but I had to screw it all up again.

I stopped for 9 months, but it always comes back eventually. I just want that $20,000 ahhhh

[Andy]

I wish I read my own story before choosing to start again. You always forget about the loss and the way it makes you feel after time.

[loose_thread]

So true @Andy ,

I hear the regret in what you say, I also hear the remorse. But even more, I hear the insight. These things do happen, and I know it hurts. That's the reality of it. But use that pain to do what you know is right for you, for that pain is a reminder of what you need to do.

Best,
loose_thread

[Andy]

Hi all, I pretty much hit rock bottom by the end of Oct. 40k between August and end of Oct. I banned myself permanently from any sports betting site I had been apart of over the years. I have written off my entire earnings for the year. I haven’t gambled for 35 days, the damage is done. I still feel so hopeless and I don’t know how I can put this latest splurge behind me. I did not gamble from Jan to the start of August.

Gambling has somewhat tortured me for almost 20 years.

Family time/holidays, business opportunities, assets, vehicles, self growth and TIME. It is diabolical to think of the destruction I have caused and self sabotage over the years from bloody betting.

How have other gamblers put such harrowing times behind them and find solace again. Normally I could cope with a 10k deficit each year from gambling but i can’t shake this feeling of loss.

[Bluetack2]

Hi all, I pretty much hit rock bottom by the end of Oct. 40k between August and end of Oct. I banned myself permanently from any sports betting site I had been apart of over the years. I have written off my entire earnings for the year. I haven’t gambled for 35 days, the damage is done. I still feel so hopeless and I don’t know how I can put this latest splurge behind me. I did not gamble from Jan to the start of August.

Gambling has somewhat tortured me for almost 20 years.

Family time/holidays, business opportunities, assets, vehicles, self growth and TIME. It is diabolical to think of the destruction I have caused and self sabotage over the years from bloody betting.

How have other gamblers put such harrowing times behind them and find solace again. Normally I could cope with a 10k deficit each year from gambling but i can’t shake this feeling of loss.

Massive respect to you mate. Take solace from the fact that you’ve helped a lot of people with your posts. I hope you’re okay. Well done on going 35 days, that’s awesome no matter what.

You’ve proven you can live without gambling having gone from Jan-Aug without doing it, so I’ve got no doubt that you can kick it permanently.

I feel your pain - have just emptied out my savings account as well and the anguish is torture. I’m certainly no expert and my issues are far from resolved, but this is how I’m trying to move forward:

Only time will heal the pain of such devastating losses, but it gets a tiny bit easier each day. Eventually six months will go past, your bank account balance will look healthier and you’ll feel better in all departments for not having to deal with the steep hills and valleys that gambling brings.

Keep sticking at it. As gamblers, I think the majority of us don’t count patience as a strong point. We’re lured into gambling by the promise of a quick win. But time and consistency are what will get us out of this hole. And that time is going to pass regardless of what we do, so we may as well go for positive choices that our future selves will thank us for.

I believe there’s no better time to start than now, especially with 2021 coming up. What a great New Years resolution.

[pricey1981]

Hi all, I pretty much hit rock bottom by the end of Oct. 40k between August and end of Oct. I banned myself permanently from any sports betting site I had been apart of over the years. I have written off my entire earnings for the year. I haven’t gambled for 35 days, the damage is done. I still feel so hopeless and I don’t know how I can put this latest splurge behind me. I did not gamble from Jan to the start of August.

Gambling has somewhat tortured me for almost 20 years.

Family time/holidays, business opportunities, assets, vehicles, self growth and TIME. It is diabolical to think of the destruction I have caused and self sabotage over the years from bloody betting.

How have other gamblers put such harrowing times behind them and find solace again. Normally I could cope with a 10k deficit each year from gambling but i can’t shake this feeling of loss.

I feel you Andy, I'm where you are, its been since the end of August for me but ive lost hundreds of thousands over my life and when you reflect it does hurt and it can be tough at times.
i dont have any answers apart from try to enjoy each day as it comes, it sounds simple and can be hard to comprehend when in this situation but what ive done is spend more time with family and friends and its been better.

[pamela]

Don't despair..start again.
Don't think about what could have been,think about what can be.
As hard as it is ,start again.think about what made you gamble and try and control that.
You can do this

[Andy]

Thanks for the thoughts and empathy. I am okay, not the best but will get there all be it very slowly. I feel like I am just surviving day to day at the moment. It has been tough coming back here and laying it all out on the table after relapses.

I am not sure whether this helps people or not, maybe makes others not feel alone and can relate? I never wanted this story/journal to carry on for as long as it has. It is not good and really sad.

I have not had the urge to sports bet but I have to admit I have imagined with the idea of going to the casino with 5k. I am still dealing with the loss of 40k since August and am suffering majorly in letting go.

As pricey has mentioned hundreds of thousands over the years. Exactly, why have I made peace with hundreds of thousands but not 40. I suppose it is just the rawness of the situation. Anyway day by day.

I listened to a lot of motivational speeches among other things today to try to keep the chin up.