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  • My gambling story

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:13 am

    My gambling story

    Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:55 am

    I'm 32 and even though I've been clean for 16 days I feel the need to talk about it.

    I started gambling approximately when I was 18, I was enjoying going to the Casino and playing Baccarat/Roulette I would go roughly 3-4x a week and gamble with any spare cash I had available. I lived with my parents at the time so I felt as though it was disposable income. One thing going for me is that I did always attend to my bills and other responsibilities before gambling but ANY disposable income went straight into gambling. I would never buy anything for myself if I didn't have a win at the casino.

    At 24 I moved from the city and lived in a rural town and gambling took a back seat for a while. Ill admit I did drive 80km a fair few times to the Casino to get my gambling fix though.

    My world of gambling took a turn when online sports betting became very appealing to me. You name it and I probably bet on it. NHL, Basketball, AFL, Darts, Soccer even handball was thrown in there and I thought about gambling on interest rates OMG. It was out control for so long but I kept all my bills paid and have never owner a credit card thankfully. They only thing I owe money on is my mortgage.

    It's been said before and I've read it through other stories. Chasing losses, depression, anxiety, stress, panic attacks and emotional rollercoaster gambling takes you through. Then you get on a winning streak and it's fantastic money's coming in swift and fast and I felt like I was recouping my losses. I have lost excess of 40,000 cash just through sports betting and have deposited over 150,000 over my sports betting period.

    One major problem Ive had is keeping an eye on scores every single day!!!! I would be following sports even if I didn't have a bet on, then I would bet in my mind on outcomes and resent that i never placed a bet when it was in my favor. This I have battled with for a long time and the key for myself is not checking scores. Sports reports and hearing of upsets on the tv have me wondering about the odds and gambling is wanting to be revisited. At work I would keep a tab on live scores and whilst driving from A to B I would have it displayed on the dash following scores.

    I have been clean from checking scores of games and gambling for 16 days, I went to Thailand and noticed their strict laws against gambling and it concerned me if caught I could face prison time in a foreign country. I still struggled and placed three bets while away and continued to look at outcomes of various sports.

    I had/have to stop and even though it's only been 16 days I still wonder and hold back checking livescores every day and mentally it's still in the back of my mind. I make enough money to survive and don't need to gamble but it's a constant battle to hold myself back from checking the scores. Because I know once I check scores/matchups of games that have played or are to play I'm VERY vulnerable to gambling.

    I've done the whole exclusion and banning myself for 6months etc but there's always another site to bet with and I would have signed up with more agencies then I can count. I limited myself to amounts but then would get annoyed when I had a win but wanted to bet more and couldn't.

    I'm not sure where I'm going with this and neither do I necessarily expect comments. I just feel like I need to vent about my addiction.

    I've gone through a divorce "not gambling related" and have had a girlfriend for 18 months, my family, girlfriend and ex know of my gambling. It never really impacted much financially because I would always have bills covered but I would never ever buy anything for myself.

    I suppose one thing everyone doesn't know apart from my girlfriend is how much I really want to check the scores of games over the period I haven't checked.

    I promised myself after the Thailand trip not to look at scores and gamble at all. I have been true to this for 16 days but the urge is still there every single day. I'm fit and love my exercise I work very hard and always need to occupie my brain. Boredom and down time makes me always wanting to look at scores. It's so annoying

    Anyway I really hope to kick this habit, I do get concerned that the AFL premiership season is about to start and it could influence me to gamble again though.

    Thanks
    Andy
    0 x
    Peter
    Junior Member
    Posts: 22
    Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2015 9:47 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Tue Mar 31, 2015 9:44 am

    G'day Andy and well done on 16 days so far. I totally agree with everything your saying regarding sports betting and constantly checking Livescores. What I have done is delete any gambling related App off my phone. Also this might sound lame but I play candy crush if I'm really bored, I've quit smoking for over 2 years because of candy crush lol. Andy your off to a great start keep it up mate.
    Peter
    0 x
    User avatar
    Neve [admin]
    Member
    Posts: 70
    Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2014 11:52 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Tue Mar 31, 2015 2:39 pm

    Welcome Andy, I'm glad you've come to this forum and I hope it will be a great support to you.
    I just want to thank you for being so honest too, despite the fact that your gambling has never gotten to the point where you can't pay the bills, you're acknowledging that your gambling is something you want to take control of. That's awesome.
    And Peter that doesn't sound lame at all, everyone seems to have little things that have worked for them or helped keep their minds busy.
    Just a reminder you can call the Gambler's helpline on 1800 858 858 (available 24/7) if you ever feel that speaking to a counsellor may help, e.g. when you are experiencing urges to gamble.
    All the best Andy, you are already 16 days in!
    Neve
    0 x
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:13 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:53 am

    G'day Peter I'm glad im not the only one that's been obsessed about keeping tabs on scores etc, I'm still doing well but mentally I still am always thinking about.

    I really hope this will pass one day and instead of caring so much about a result, I'll be able to enjoy and love/support a team without gambling on it. This has been BIG because the aspect of the game itself was taken away from me and everything became about an outcome. This makes me feel sick to the stomach because being an huge sports fan all the passion and love for the game itself was lost.
    I like your candy crush solution. I've been using newsfeeds such as ninemsn and world news just as a distraction for that downtime I would normally use to check sports scores.

    Thanks
    Andy
    0 x
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:13 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Sat Apr 04, 2015 3:45 pm

    20 days in, I'm doing well. I haven't checked any scores or placed a bet. I want to kick this habit for good. My bank balance is looking healthier and I don't face the prospects of throwing money away.

    Thanks
    Andy
    0 x
    Charlotte (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:53 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Thu Apr 09, 2015 4:22 pm

    Hi Andy,

    Good on you for getting this far. it sounds like you're really committed to putting the gambling behind you and that you're already enjoying the rewards of that. I'm wondering what strategies you've been using to not gamble? I'm also wondering what other people found helpful in the early days?

    Keep us posted :)
    All the best!
    Charlotte
    0 x
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:13 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:26 am

    The strategy I've used is to reframe myself from checking livescores.com and also a fresh beginning since getting back from holidays. This has been a platform for my strength and I feel now 28 days in without checking scores or placing a bet I would be very very disappointed in myself if I were to go back on my word.

    There has been a massive urge to gamble again today because my girlfriends car. The engine has seized and I feel the need to gamble for a quick cash grab.

    I have taken the stress out on my fingernails and while on a night shift I'm opting to come here and chat about the recent developments and feelings I possess.

    Lately I've done well and haven't thought to much about gambling. I've focused on other projects around the house and playing in the AFL fantasy league. I also do footy tipping and on the site the odds for teams are visible. So it's still a thought that is processed every time I make a tip, and sportsbet advertisements are shown more and more these days it's terrible!

    My girlfriend and family are supportive of me and I seem to keep them informed of my GREAT progress. I'm very proud of the 28 gambling free days and am SO determined to overcome this battle I've faced for around 14 years.

    I loved to gamble but unfortunately I can't be one of those people that can make one bet a week or whatever. Even if I did win money to buy my girlfriend a new car, I'd win it withdraw, make the purchase and then begin planning on winning more money. Once that first bet is placed I'll either chase my loss or try to accumulate fast money and would begin gambling many many times daily. I would then stoop straight back into the gambling mentality and lose every spare dollar I had, even after winning enough for a car. I would lose that 5x over afterwards. After this many years I can sit back and see the pattern and see exactly how it starts and how it ends. Earlier I spoke of how I never purchased anything unless I won through gambling and I can't stress that enough. I was such a tightass with clothes, food etc. it really sucked because I would feel guilty to buy something legitimately but would have no problems placing hundreds of dollars on a sports game. Try telling someone who's not a gambler to understand this mentality.

    IM NOT GOING DOWN THAT PATH AGAIN!

    Thanks

    Andy
    0 x
    Charlotte (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:53 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Sun Apr 12, 2015 11:40 am

    Hi Andy,

    Well done again for getting this far. And it sounds like you had a major potential trigger this week, which you managed to deal with, which is a terrific achievement. The urges are a normal part of the change process, and while experiencing them is difficult, it's helpful to remind yourself that they are transient and will pass. Thinking of them like a wave can help, something that reaches a peak and then tapers off. Have a look at this webpage if you like;
    http://www.mindfulness.org.au/urge-surf ... revention/

    It's great to hear that you have supportive people around you and that you've been focussing on other projects. Reminding yourself of what you value in life can help you remain focussed.

    Good on you and keep us posted!
    Charlotte
    0 x
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 17
    Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:13 am

    Re: My gambling story

    Mon Jul 06, 2015 12:07 am

    Ahhh, shame.

    I would love to share how successful I have been to shun my habit however I failed through no fault but my own.

    1st of May I received an email allowing a deposit bonus of $100 if I deposited $100. I thought I could just make a bet and control my behaviour as it had been 46 days since gambling.

    So since May 1st I've bet on AFL, French Open, Women's World Cup and Wimbledon.

    I'm embarrassed and have lost $3445 in this time. Just in the last week it blew out but I'll be honest. It was bloody inevitable, I knew what I was doing was wrong and I kept a track of what I had lost etc I just wanted to get back what I lost since I started gambling again.. As you do, ahhh I'm so disappointed and won't rant anymore. I've got to get my head together again and start over.

    Andy
    1 x
    Keeton
    Senior Member
    Posts: 154
    Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:19 pm

    Re: My gambling story

    Fri Jul 10, 2015 9:34 pm

    Yes you had a relapse and that is a normal part of recovery. I've lost count how many times ive gone back to gambling. What positives came out of it is that you went 46 days without it. That is a big achievement in itself because the desire to gamble can suck us back in. Don't be too hard on yourself. The thing about relapse is that you can always try again and keep positive because you can do it you just have to keep at it and don't lose hope.

    All the best Andy and well done for talking about it because I find it really helps,

    Keeton
    1 x

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