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  • Road to recovery

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Keeton
    Senior Member
    Posts: 154
    Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:19 pm

    Re: Road to recovery

    Sun May 24, 2015 5:53 pm

    well I had a good weekend. No gambling today either and it feels amazing. It's weird how good I feel when I don't gamble. I guess I lost touch with what no gambling was like. It was good to go home and not think about how much money I had lost or that I relapsed again. Also was good to end the week with some money left. It's a step forward into finding the real me again.
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    Charlotte (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:53 am

    Re: Road to recovery

    Mon May 25, 2015 5:17 pm

    Good on you Keeton, nicely done :) I'm guessing it feels great to get through the other side of the weekend without those feelings of remorse and guilt. Just out of interest... what helped you get through it this weekend?

    Best,
    Charlotte
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    Keeton
    Senior Member
    Posts: 154
    Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:19 pm

    Re: Road to recovery

    Mon Jun 08, 2015 10:19 pm

    I'm doing really at this point in recovery even though I had a relapse last week I came out stronger from it and and even more focused on quitting. My last bet was on 1 june which is great to not gamble for that long because I used to gamble all the time.

    I got paid today and I didn't play pokies. I am really proud of myself which is something i haven't had for a long time. I have finally come to the point in which i just have to accept that I simply cannot gamble. I am terrible at it and I always end up broke. I have been in this box for 4 years so now it is time to break free and get my life back. I have the rest of my life to enjoy without gambling making me feel depressed and worthless while givning me financial stress as well.

    i even bought some groceries today which was great and even bought some internet credit so I can continue playing games online. I have grasped a day of what having money can do besides gambling it. The possibilities are endless out of the pokie room.

    I it just a good feeling to know that it's the end of the day and I still have money left.

    The urges still come and go but I just ignore them and use the delay- destract resist technique to get past them. I just reinforce to myself that pokies are not for me and they always will be.

    Tomorrow is a new day and I certainly won't be going back to gambling if I can help it
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    Shirley
    Junior Member
    Posts: 10
    Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 12:31 pm

    Re: Road to recovery

    Thu Jun 11, 2015 1:02 am

    Hi,
    I know exactly how you feel. I am only day 5, and for me, that is great too, because I gambled all the time too, and never had any money for long, even after a big win, a few days down the track it was all gone.
    The only way for me, is no access to money via ATM, cut up cards etc.
    If you have no cash, you can't go.
    I put groceries, etc, on American Express Card, you can't get cash from that easily. Master Card, had to be cut up, and all other ATM Cards, pretty pathetic, but the only way I can control myself.
    I get paid tomorrow, and for this one week, I too want to see that money go to bills, and not the pokies.
    Good luck, keep going.
    Shirley
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    Keeton
    Senior Member
    Posts: 154
    Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:19 pm

    Re: Road to recovery

    Thu Jun 11, 2015 1:48 pm

    hey Shirley thanks for your comment,

    Yeah I also only carry limited cash with me so I don't get big urges to go and play pokies. I just find that as soon as I get lots of money the urges come to go and try to win money on pokies because I have before. but the reality is that I just end up putting it back in plus more.

    Yes those credit cards are a real danger, thankfully I don't own one so I'm glad i don't because I'm sure I would have debt as a result. I bet it was a good feeling to cut up that card because of the money you would save by not having it. They also charge you for it also.

    I find that we have to do whatever it takes to stop gambling no matter how rediculous it may seem to ourselves and others because not everything works for all of us.

    On tuesday as soon as I finished work I went to the post office straight away and paid the electricity bill that I had. It was amazing to not gamble it and know that it went to a good cause. Some might think that it is a waste but it isn't when compared to gambling.

    I've found lately that my determination has increased and that i'm learning from relapses as well.

    Hope all is going well for you

    All the best,

    Keeton
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    Keeton
    Senior Member
    Posts: 154
    Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:19 pm

    Re: Road to recovery

    Thu Jun 11, 2015 1:54 pm

    Had a slip up yesterday after work, i only spent $50 but i'm still not happy that I gave in because I don't like the person I am when I gamble. I forget about everything and nothing matters except gambling until i have no money left. Next time I will just go straight home because it is not worth it. I am stronger than this and I know i can beat this. I simply just cannot use them as fun anymore because they never are.

    Next time will be better and the future looks promising.

    Bring it on...
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    Charlotte (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 9:53 am

    Re: Road to recovery

    Thu Jun 11, 2015 3:37 pm

    Hi Keeton,

    What strikes me most here is not so much that you've had slips, but that you're here talking about it, and that you don't give up on giving up! For many people the cycle of gambling is to quit and lapse many times. It seems that each time you lapse, you gain a new understanding of your gambling behaviour and a renewed strength and commitment - your tenacity is palpable! This sort of change is not a linear process - so keep it up!

    All the best,
    Charlotte
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    Shirley
    Junior Member
    Posts: 10
    Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2015 12:31 pm

    Re: Road to recovery

    Fri Jun 12, 2015 12:41 am

    Hi Keeton,

    Yes, I was going well, but then a friend repaid a gambling loan and suddenly I had money on me again, so, with the best of intentions, I called by the club on my way home also, and of course, now am thoroughly annoyed with myself, its all gone too.

    Well, as you say, its a learning curve, and I too have to learn from it, and just strive to do better than that.

    I will have a few more weeks before I can say I am in a very good place, but I have to work towards that and keep the limits on everything.

    Yes, really good thing the card is cut up, that has saved me heaps. It cost me heaps before I cut it up. The problem is that money loses value at the pokies, and become like monopoly money or something. Yeh, as you say, as crazy as it may seem to non gamblers, we as gamblers have to do whatever it takes to stop ourselves.

    Thanks for the support, much appreciated. It helps a lot.
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    User avatar
    Neve [admin]
    Member
    Posts: 70
    Joined: Mon Nov 17, 2014 11:52 am

    Re: Road to recovery

    Fri Jun 12, 2015 9:54 am

    Hi Shirley
    Sorry to hear about your relapse but good on you for being so honest and you are here, back on the forum and continuing the Challenge, that's great.
    I just wanted to officially welcome you here too Shirley - we like to welcome every new forum member but seemed to have missed you! Although other members do a pretty good job of creating a welcoming space :)
    Keep in touch
    Neve
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    Keeton
    Senior Member
    Posts: 154
    Joined: Mon Jun 23, 2014 2:19 pm

    Re: Road to recovery

    Fri Jun 12, 2015 6:51 pm

    Don't be too hard on yourself Shirley we all relapse most of the time. I find that deep down we get stronger next time and learn about our behaviour and triggers.
    i guess I just got to the point in admitting that it had to stop and i was the only one who could make it happen, I was waiting for someone to stop me doing it but reality is we are in control of our body and it is up to us to not gamble. While we may get angry that we give in to relapses it is understandable because it has become second nature to go and gamble when we get an urge. When I don't give in I feel a bit of control coming back each time. As Charlotte said it is not a linear process and relapses can happen at any time. all we can do is pick ourselves up and learn from them for next time and put in measures to create barriers to gamble.

    Keep up the fight and well done for being honest with yourself and us.

    All the best,

    Keeton
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