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  • Starting a new chapter

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Chris2
    Junior Member
    Posts: 21
    Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 8:27 pm

    RE: Starting a new chapter

    Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:40 pm

    Hi Brion

    Initially I spoke to someone on the phone who invited me to a group but before I went I spoke to a couple of people I knew who had attended and they felt that what they felt missing was a' proactive looking for solutions' type feeling if you know what I mean. They felt that the people in their group tended to get stuck in talking about the negatives and it became more depressing. I guess then I decided to join the GA Forum first and spent a couple of months talking there but again I myself found feeling a little worse..I guess part of the twelve steps that involves surrender and prayer makes sense to me of course but I found many people getting stuck there praying for help..again the 12 steps are a good set of guiding points but everyone understands it differently..I guess perhaps It all depends again on the facilitator being involved in some cases can redirect a persons thoughts which can be hard to do I guess.. but for myself this is what I needed specifically as gambling really does screw with your head and one doesnt really realise what they are thinking when in that depressive state nor what they are saying to themselves..I found the councellor online at this website and the councellor who I am seeing (who also does research on the subject therefore I feel that I am giving back somewhat by being involved in a recovery program and learning about myself at the same time)..both have helped me get past being ashamed, angry sad or stuck and brought me to the point of realising that I am human, that somewhere I have a misguided belief system that I am working on correcting and most of all I didnt feel judged or labelled. I can see there are a few research programs being offered here too which I think is a fantastic idea because they are in themselves a form of proactive positive councelling that cost nothing but are invaluable resources and positive educational experiences as they have been for me! The only difficulty I am experiencing at the moment is the fact that I have a friend that has gambled for years longer and still does and when I see him he doesnt want to talk about it. He doesnt involve me or affect me but I worry..he does have erratic behaviour and is unavailable, unreliable most of the time because of his gambling..but when he is ok he is a great person..It is hard when one of us is in recovery mode and the other in another world which i know about but am trying to get under control.

    Anyhow..thanks for the feedback and encouragement Brion will keep all posted

    Take care everyone
    0 x
    User avatar
    BriM
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:05 pm

    RE: Starting a new chapter

    Tue Feb 05, 2013 4:01 pm

    Hey Chris,

    Wise words, my friend. I'm glad that you've been able to get to a point where you realise that there's no point beating yourself up, that you're human, and that you can acknowledge the past's influence on the present. God, beating yourself up is the hardest behaviour to overcome in many respects! A lot of destructive behaviour stems from not feeling good and not caring, I suppose. Hey, I dont know if you've heard of this poet, Rumi, but you should look up a poem of his called "The Guest House". It talks about your body and mind being a 'guest house' , which welcomes all feelings and behaviours as 'visitors'. They can hang around, and sweep your house empty of all its furniture, but in the end, your house still stands, and you have been able to welcome everything as a 'guide from beyond'. It's really lovely.

    Good on you though, your words are very inspiring

    (I'd also be interested to hear about anyone else's experiences of GA...!)

    Bri
    0 x
    User avatar
    Bull
    Member
    Posts: 53
    Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2012 3:53 pm

    RE: Starting a new chapter

    Wed Feb 06, 2013 3:47 pm

    Chris2 (31/01/2013)Hi Brion

    Initially I spoke to someone on the phone who invited me to a group but before I went I spoke to a couple of people I knew who had attended and they felt that what they felt missing was a' proactive looking for solutions' type feeling if you know what I mean. They felt that the people in their group tended to get stuck in talking about the negatives and it became more depressing. I guess then I decided to join the GA Forum first and spent a couple of months talking there but again I myself found feeling a little worse..I guess part of the twelve steps that involves surrender and prayer makes sense to me of course but I found many people getting stuck there praying for help..again the 12 steps are a good set of guiding points but everyone understands it differently..I guess perhaps It all depends again on the facilitator being involved in some cases can redirect a persons thoughts which can be hard to do I guess.. but for myself this is what I needed specifically as gambling really does screw with your head and one doesnt really realise what they are thinking when in that depressive state nor what they are saying to themselves..I found the councellor online at this website and the councellor who I am seeing (who also does research on the subject therefore I feel that I am giving back somewhat by being involved in a recovery program and learning about myself at the same time)..both have helped me get past being ashamed, angry sad or stuck and brought me to the point of realising that I am human, that somewhere I have a misguided belief system that I am working on correcting and most of all I didnt feel judged or labelled. I can see there are a few research programs being offered here too which I think is a fantastic idea because they are in themselves a form of proactive positive councelling that cost nothing but are invaluable resources and positive educational experiences as they have been for me! The only difficulty I am experiencing at the moment is the fact that I have a friend that has gambled for years longer and still does and when I see him he doesnt want to talk about it. He doesnt involve me or affect me but I worry..he does have erratic behaviour and is unavailable, unreliable most of the time because of his gambling..but when he is ok he is a great person..It is hard when one of us is in recovery mode and the other in another world which i know about but am trying to get under control.

    Anyhow..thanks for the feedback and encouragement Brion will keep all posted

    Take care everyone
    Chris, I had a bit of a slip up and am for the first time really considering going to the GA. Please mate I need to know, is it like the movies? Because if it is I don't think I want to do it...
    0 x
    Chris2
    Junior Member
    Posts: 21
    Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2012 8:27 pm

    RE: Starting a new chapter

    Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:42 pm

    Hey Bull,

    Here is what I have learnt so far..Its important to realise that a slip up is just a temporary setback ans setbacks will occur from time to time on the road to recovery..they are a cautionary warning to change your perspective. You are human and we are all learning and its important to think of a slip up in this way I think in order to bring yourself back to a healthier more positive perspective and to keep reaching out, as you are, for the right tools, education or whatever you need to find your path to recovery. To answer your question about GA; well I would say it depends on the group and the personalities; so If I were you and you have one close to you just go..with the attitude of staying open to learning something new and if you find that it is all to much of a sobstory approach then thats ok you might need a different approach which there is out there if you look around. Some people need to share alot of emotion, others need to get to the facts and reeducate themselves. I went on the GA Forum website and after a little while found the Twelve steps of GA recovery a little daunting. You can also try email councelling on this website. I did this eaxh time I relapsed and wrote to a lovely lady councellor who continued to encourage me each time by turning my rambling thoughts around and helping me see a more positive persective..she unfortunately left! which happens! I then realised i needed more. I found this website and as I couldnt afford a private councellor..I found a Gambling clinic that provides councelling as well as doing research on me..win win so far and they use a different more educational approach to gambling which has helped me alot. You will not know what will work for you until you make the first step somewhere. There is a website >'wwwproblemgambling.ca"..its good info and they have a workbook in pdf format that you can learn lots from. It is similar in approach to what has helped me. I noticed some research programs being offered on this forum too and personally I think they would be great because they are pretty much doing up to date research on dealing with problem gambling and I know for myself it felt good being part of a solution and doing something good for myself.

    Everyones different Bull in what may trigger them, slip ups happen and there are many ways to look at a situation. Keep looking and work on the belief in the possilbilty of change which is an important motivator..

    Good luck and good on you for your perseverance..consider that a strength!
    0 x
    User avatar
    BriM
    Senior Member
    Posts: 384
    Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:05 pm

    RE: Starting a new chapter

    Mon Feb 11, 2013 11:06 am

    Chris2 (8/02/2013)Hey Bull,

    Here is what I have learnt so far..Its important to realise that a slip up is just a temporary setback ans setbacks will occur from time to time on the road to recovery..they are a cautionary warning to change your perspective. You are human and we are all learning and its important to think of a slip up in this way I think in order to bring yourself back to a healthier more positive perspective and to keep reaching out, as you are, for the right tools, education or whatever you need to find your path to recovery. To answer your question about GA; well I would say it depends on the group and the personalities; so If I were you and you have one close to you just go..with the attitude of staying open to learning something new and if you find that it is all to much of a sobstory approach then thats ok you might need a different approach which there is out there if you look around. Some people need to share alot of emotion, others need to get to the facts and reeducate themselves. I went on the GA Forum website and after a little while found the Twelve steps of GA recovery a little daunting. You can also try email councelling on this website. I did this eaxh time I relapsed and wrote to a lovely lady councellor who continued to encourage me each time by turning my rambling thoughts around and helping me see a more positive persective..she unfortunately left! which happens! I then realised i needed more. I found this website and as I couldnt afford a private councellor..I found a Gambling clinic that provides councelling as well as doing research on me..win win so far and they use a different more educational approach to gambling which has helped me alot. You will not know what will work for you until you make the first step somewhere. There is a website >'wwwproblemgambling.ca"..its good info and they have a workbook in pdf format that you can learn lots from. It is similar in approach to what has helped me. I noticed some research programs being offered on this forum too and personally I think they would be great because they are pretty much doing up to date research on dealing with problem gambling and I know for myself it felt good being part of a solution and doing something good for myself.

    Everyones different Bull in what may trigger them, slip ups happen and there are many ways to look at a situation. Keep looking and work on the belief in the possilbilty of change which is an important motivator..

    Good luck and good on you for your perseverance..consider that a strength!
    Hey Chris,

    Good on you for being so committed and innovative in the ways you're finding yourself some help. I find it really inspiring to read your posts and love coming on here to see if you've written anything. i particularly loved that when you couldn't afford a face-to-face counsellor you found a place that provides you with counselling in return for doing some research on you - which of course will help the clinic better tailor their services to people experiencing problems with gambling - i agree, a win win!

    Please keep writing, your tenacity is really inspiring!

    Bri
    0 x

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