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  • Day 1 after a massive relapse

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    yep123
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2020 4:43 pm

    Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Sat May 15, 2021 10:45 am

    Day 1

    I never thought i would be back here again, the pain it is creating in my body its massive! But i have to move forward.

    One step at a time and one goal at a time.

    I am starting the 100 day gamble free from today, i have put in place so many things so i do not lapse again. i have purchased the gamban software so i cannot use my laptop for online, counselling sessions booked for the next month and cut up my cards and put pay id on my phone. I am also seeking support from this page as well, and if anybody would like to do the 100 day with me! please do!

    I now have learnt that this is with me for the rest of my life, i have to put things in place so i do not relapse again.

    Hopefully one day i will be happy again and this evil addiction will be in the past.
    2 x
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 461
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Sat May 15, 2021 11:22 am

    @yep123 , as you've said 1 step at a time! Uisng this space as a daily diary is a useful way to keep track of how you're doing and have a space to share your ups and downs.

    I can hear your determination, it sounds like you've put some really fantastic supports in place. Gamban is really useful, and getting rid of cards is fantastic step. I'm also really glad to hear you're booked in for counselling sessions. If you need to speak to anyone between now and your first session, remember you can reach out to counsellors at Gambling Helpline on 1800 858 858.
    0 x
    yep123
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2020 4:43 pm

    Re: Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Sat May 15, 2021 3:34 pm

    Hi @Printemps ,

    Yeah I have reached out and called, it is so helpful for that moment but when I hang up the phone I got back to my negative thoughts. Such as feeling worthless and stupid for doing this. I just don’t understand and why. I have no control and for my age I should.

    Thank you for your support.
    1 x
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 461
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Sat May 15, 2021 4:03 pm

    @yep123 , I'm glad to hear that the counselling was useful. In these moments when you are unable to break these thought cycles, it's really important to find something to do which will help refocus you. Getting out and going for a walk, picking up a book or calling someone you trust are really great things to do. The more your break these cycles, the easier it gets to stop them.

    It might be worthwhile having a look through the blog, https://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/blog , as there are also tips here.
    0 x
    yep123
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2020 4:43 pm

    Re: Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Sun May 16, 2021 10:03 am

    Hi @Printemps ,

    Day 2! My thought this morning were to be honest! “ omg I need to get this money back” . I then had a cry and and went back onto this website! Thankfully I have no way to gamble today. I then started thinking what I want life to be, and not the constant rush of wanting money. I just want enough to survive. I want to keep it simple right now and not have any huge expectations of a savings goal.

    Onwards and one breath a time. I hope things do get better for me as I really do not like the feeling I am feeling now.
    2 x
    Lovely Cat Lady
    Moderator
    Posts: 678
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:30 am

    Re: Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Sun May 16, 2021 12:12 pm

    Hi @yep123,

    I'm so sorry to hear about the relapse and how you're feeling now about it. Please be kind to yourself. Relapses are a common part of the recovery process. The important thing is that you're starting again from a point of more knowledge and experience than before. You've already put into place some great supports to keep you from gambling, and that's fantastic. Good job there! :cool:

    Congratulations on your Day 2/100! I know it might seem far right now, but you're already taking steps away from what you don't want in your life and closer towards the future that you do want for yourself. Keeping it simple and not having great expectations at the moment seems like a good strategy to not overwhelm yourself and that becoming a trigger.

    We're here for you at anytime, and you can keep calling the counsellors 24/7 for free at 1800 858 858. I'm really glad you've already used this resource and found it useful. Have a look at the Success Stories if you haven't yet, hopefully they'll give you some inspiration. :);
    0 x
    Sadly, it's my last week as Moderator. Thanking you all for allowing me to be a part of your journeys and wishing you all the best! :);
    yep123
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2020 4:43 pm

    Re: Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Sun May 16, 2021 3:19 pm

    Hi @Lovely Cat Lady ,

    Today I have also had to remind myself what I am grateful for. The last 24 hours has been all negative thinking and how bad life is right now. Soon as I starting thinking of the things I am grateful for it gets a little better.
    0 x
    Lovely Cat Lady
    Moderator
    Posts: 678
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:30 am

    Re: Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Sun May 16, 2021 3:36 pm

    Hi @yep123,

    We're running every fortnight on Sundays 'Today I'm grateful for...'. You might want to jump in and post some of those things you've been thinking today that you're grateful for.

    I'm truly sorry to hear you feel life is bad right now, and I really hope you start feeling better soon.

    Please call the counsellors at anytime, and reach out to the forums as well. We're here for you. :);
    0 x
    Sadly, it's my last week as Moderator. Thanking you all for allowing me to be a part of your journeys and wishing you all the best! :);
    yep123
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2020 4:43 pm

    Re: Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Mon May 17, 2021 11:50 am

    @Lovely Cat Lady ,

    I would love to be involved in that. I will make sure i am available then :)

    Day three for me today! holly molly i am on struggle street, it's the negative thoughts that are coming in my head! But i am reaching out and have had a chat session. I am doing some self care today, i felt guilty at the start when i was planning it, but now i feel i should after the chat.
    This is not an easy journey, it is a horrible addiction! It does get easier right? I am so determined to get better, however i feel so weak. The success stories is great to look at to, it allows me to think that i am not alone, other individuals have gone through this and are on the right path, so i can.
    1 x
    Lovely Cat Lady
    Moderator
    Posts: 678
    Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 9:30 am

    Re: Day 1 after a massive relapse

    Mon May 17, 2021 12:41 pm

    Hi @yep123,

    Yes, amazing. You can also jump in at anytime and post whenever you want too in the 'Today I'm grateful for...' thread. :);

    Congrats on reaching Day 3! It's great you're reaching out, I'm really glad you had a chat session. Good on ya'! Self-care is so important, and we tend to underestimate that. What are you planning to do for self-care?

    No, it's definitely not an easy journey but it's also not an impossible one as you can see in the Success Stories.

    You can definitely do this, and you're getting the supports you can to do it as well, which is also a positive factor.

    One step at a time, and one day at a time. We're to cheer for you all the day. :);
    0 x
    Sadly, it's my last week as Moderator. Thanking you all for allowing me to be a part of your journeys and wishing you all the best! :);

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