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Now I realise I got a problem.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2021 3:38 pm
by Insideout
Hi everybody. I’m a student, 35 years old and I’m living with my wife in Australia since 2 years ago. I’m joining to this group because I really need help with my compulsive gambling. When I was in my country I used to gamble eventually in sports and a few amount of money, it was just for fun. However, around one year ago, I got to know horse and dog races, which took me out of control. I started betting more often and everytime more money, nothing serious happened until December 2020 when in the middle of a depression I started betting more money and in just 2 hours I lost 5000 dollars. I couldn’t hide my sadness for throwing away our savings, so I had to tell my wife everything. Although I said I wouldn’t gamble again, in February in the middle of another depression I started gambling again, everything was “under control” with a balance between lost money and winnings until everything went down and I lost around 4500 dollars again. I now realise I got a problem with gambling because I acted compulsively and this is affecting me a lot, I have lost motivation for a lot of things, also I got more depressed, and the worst is when I’m working because I feel I’m working just to pay the money that I already wasted. My wife is the best in my life and I don’t want to lose her, so I don’t know how to tell her this problem I am experiencing. I feel like there is a fight in my head where the reason is fighting against my desire to gamble and try to have the lost money back. I have already cut down my limit to deposit until 30 dollars per month in the app that I use for gambling. I did so just in case I couldn’t control myself and had to bet again, I would spend just 30 dollars, but I think maybe it’s better to closure the account. please help, how can I face this problem and have the support of my wife? I’m really afraid of losing her.

Re: Now I realise I got a problem.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2021 4:40 pm
Hi Insideout, firstly it is great that you have realised that your are having problems with gambling and that you are reaching out for help. It sounds like you have a lot going on. Can I suggest that you and your wife see a counsellor together so that you both can work together to help you, your relationship and how you are feeling. Your wife cannot help you until she knows the full story. Due to the shame of admitting we have gambling problems, we often will not disclose the whole truth. Seeing a professional together will give you that platform to be honest, wipe the slate and move forward together. No point procrastinating over the past, that is done. Work toward a new future for yourself and your wife. Depression and gambling are a very destructive cycle and go hand in hand with each other. It sounds like you have some issues going on which has triggered your depression and its ok, we all feel down at some point of our life. Also, can I add, with gambling its either gamble or don't. For most of us, not gambling at all is the key to beating this debilitating addiction.

Re: Now I realise I got a problem.

Posted: Sat Mar 20, 2021 1:30 pm
by Insideout
Thank you AGHS for the kind words. I’m going to take your advises.

Re: Now I realise I got a problem.

Posted: Sun Mar 21, 2021 8:22 pm
by TheTiges
Hi @Insideout

I'm one of the moderators here tonight. Welcome to the forums, it's amazing the fact you have reached out for help. I can sense you are going through a hard time because of the gambling.
The fact you have come here, it shows allot of strength and how important this change is to you. What do you think would be helpful to you as a starting point?

You can see a gambling counsellor face to face to help you go through this and also to discuss strategies on how to let you wife know about your gambling and how you are wanting to stop. You can contact the helpline and the counsellors would advise you the closest gamblers help site to you.