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  • 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Kristoff8585
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2020 12:38 pm

    10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Sun Nov 08, 2020 12:53 pm

    Hi All,

    I hope I am posting at the right place.

    In 2010 I was 24 years old and somewhat on top of the world. I owned a property, I had graduated out of university, I had a nice car and I had a beautiful girlfriend. Life just couldn't be any better. Oh and I was ultra fit and played alot of sports and enjoyed swimming every morning.

    I had already been introduced to gambling since I was 18 but I could enjoy the casino or pub for a few hours per week (1 night a week) and not think much of it.

    I had some big wins and big losses, but I was always busy with work, sports, and general life that gambling had no chance of consuming me.

    Then somewhere along the line Gambling got a grip of me. I was soon skipping work to gamble. Lying to family and girlfriend about where I was and gambling way too often.

    I had a savings account that had about $40k in there and I would never touch that account.

    Then somewhere along the line as I turned 30, I swindled all of my savings. This was when I was introduced to payday loans.

    I was earning alot, and gambling alot by this age.
    I had the confidence to take out payday loans and sometimes I would return that same afternoon and pay out the loan completely and hand the staff $50 tips on top.

    Anyway, it got out of control with the Casino, pubs, pokies, horse racing via the TAB.

    I am now 34 years old, and that same property that I bought when I was 24 has had its loan over-extended multiple times and I'm on the verge of having to sell the property to pay out my debts.

    I spiralled out of control - but in my head always thought I was in control. That one big win was imminent.......but it never came.

    Instead, I was maxxing out credit cards, using my tenants rent to gamble and using all of my equity to gamble.

    With all of this, I lost my girl, lost alot of confidence, stopped training and exercising and live a pretty miserable life.

    I still have my job, but I'm holding on by a thread, as this gambling addiction has consumed me to a point I really don't know what to do anymore.

    My bank balance is almost zero, and I have borrowed money off countless people. I live in alot of regret, and I really don't know how I will get out of this. I've also been to rehab a few times, but as soon as I get out (maybe after 2 weeks) I revert back to my chronic addiction.

    I am willing to try anything now - even hypnotherapy. I just want to get rid of this addiction. And become my old self again that I lost over the past 10 years.

    Thanks for listening all.
    0 x
    HelpfulBee
    Moderator
    Posts: 56
    Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:15 pm

    Re: 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Sun Nov 08, 2020 5:26 pm

    Hi @Kristoff8585 ,

    It sounds like your gambling has gotten out of hand and your really wanting to make a change. Reaching out and sharing your story is a big step.

    What sort of things have you tried to help you stop gambling? What sort of support do you think you need next?

    - HelpfulBee
    1 x
    Kristoff8585
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Sun Nov 08, 2020 12:38 pm

    Re: 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Sun Nov 08, 2020 7:52 pm

    Hi @ HelpfulBee,

    I have some underlying health problems all related to the weight I have gained. So i have commenced a daily exercise routine, but it seems like such a huge mountain to climb.

    I have lost the will to smile or do anything that I used to love. The gambling addiction got to a chronic level where its become like a morning coffee ot like brushing your teeth. It is something that I just now do. If I don’t have money, I go and find money. I have used my posution of power and trust at work to get loans from places and people most people wouldn’t have acceess to.

    The cliche’ items just seem so out of touch to me. Things like taking one day at a time. Attending GA meetings. Going to rehab. I want help but the help I need doesn’t lie in these items. I just want the pressure and burden of letting people down gone out of my life. I have to sel my property. I have to start fresh. I have to pay back the people I currently owe.

    I forgot what a good nights sleep is like. However in the mornings i don’t want to get out of bed. The will and drive to live is just not there. I feel like I’m just existing in this downward spiral.

    Sorry to be all ovet the place but I really really really fear for my future.
    1 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1912
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Sun Nov 08, 2020 8:51 pm

    Hi and welcome, hitting rock bottom isn't the best,,but the only way to go is up from here.
    Well done on reaching out,I know how hard that is
    Do you have any one you can confide in that will help you?
    Have you tried self exclusion?
    Counselling will help,its not always the gambling that is the problem,but the problems that lead to gambling.
    There is lots of help available so don't be afraid to ask for it.
    The rest of your life starts today
    3 x
    Michelle3
    Senior Member
    Posts: 109
    Joined: Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:02 pm

    Re: 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Sat Nov 28, 2020 1:07 pm

    Hi kristoff8585
    I haven’t been on the forum for almost 6 years now your story caught my eye in that I never ever thought I could give up gambling nor sustain my absence... but I can tell you 6 years on it is worth the effort of giving up. There is lots of help out there best advice I can give you is ... you are the only person who can fix your addiction. I went to counselling did hypnosis self exclusions everything and yes that all helped but it wasn’t till I sat with myself and looked at my life and what I had lost could I truly make the effort to give up ... all of that was 40 years in the making ... my heart breaks now for people caught in this addiction.... good luck with everything keep trying buddy something will click with you and that’s all it takes to start the journey out
    1 x
    coco2019
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2019 5:25 pm

    Re: 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Tue Dec 08, 2020 9:10 pm

    Hi kristoff8585,

    Your story could be about me, except I have the debt with no house to lose. I am also 34 and I started gambling with my husband as a fun activity but over the years it turned into more than that.

    I have recently started seeing a psychologist and for the first time, I was honest about my gambling issues. One thing I am really struggling with like you, is the crippling depression and lack of energy.

    Have you tried any medications at all? My doctor mentioned naltrexone as something I could consider if I wanted. It’s not on the PBS for gambling addiction so is a bit expensive but maybe it’s worth speaking with your doctor? If you haven’t already.

    I sometimes listen to podcasts of recovered gamblers to feel like there is some hope. Ash Bradnam’a addicted podcast is good (mostly covers alcohol but there are some other addictions covered).

    I truly wish you all the best and I believe you can get through this. At 24 you had already achieved more than some people ever do!!
    1 x
    Lodger
    Moderator
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2016 7:26 pm

    Re: 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Tue Dec 08, 2020 9:43 pm

    Hope you're doing ok @Kristoff8585 and excellent wisdom @coco2019

    Another interesting podcast is Addicted to the Game by AFL footballer Allen Christensen. Especially good for boys into racing and sportsbetting.

    Keep taking the next small step when things are tough yeah
    0 x
    Andy
    Junior Member
    Posts: 26
    Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2012 1:13 pm

    Re: 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Wed Dec 09, 2020 12:27 am

    Hey buddy, i just thought I would pop in and say I’m thinking of you buddy. Take care alright, gambling is so insidious and I to am fighting the same war, just know I would choose your side ok. Chin up
    3 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Moderator
    Posts: 591
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Fri Dec 11, 2020 1:39 pm

    Hi @Kristoff8585 Just wanting to check in with you and see how you've been going since you last shared with us?
    0 x
    Leslie1111
    Junior Member
    Posts: 18
    Joined: Sat Dec 12, 2020 12:32 pm

    Re: 10 Years of Misery - Now at Rock Bottom

    Sat Dec 12, 2020 12:52 pm

    Hi @Kristoff8585 ,

    Thanks for sharing your story and unfortunately i'm age 27 this year and my experience is the same as yours at 24.

    I'm trying to reach out now as the last 12month has been a downhill spiral for me and unfortunately have not manage my finance at its best.

    Your story has definitely hit me in the head hard as its such a correct reflection of my current position. So I'm trying to take steps now to not let it go down into a spiral.

    I wish you all the best and appreciate you sharing this.

    Thanks
    1 x

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