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  • Newbie to the forum

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    HelpfulBee
    Member
    Posts: 39
    Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:15 pm

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Sat Oct 10, 2020 12:26 pm

    Hi @pricey1981, it sounds like you’re having a really tough time at the moment, I'm really sorry to hear that all of this is happening for you at the moment – I’ve sent you a PM, you can see it in your screen’s top right.
    1 x
    pricey1981
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2020 8:15 am

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Sat Oct 10, 2020 12:42 pm

    Thanks for that.
    Yeah its tough at the moment but just trying not to think about it too much. I guess at the moment im just feeling anger but it is what it is then.
    Had a couple calls with mates this morning and they are filling me in on how they felt about the relationship and how it was probably triggering my gambling and some things are becoming clearer.
    0 x
    HelpfulBee
    Member
    Posts: 39
    Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:15 pm

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Sat Oct 10, 2020 4:16 pm

    It's really great that you're reaching out to friends for support, it sounds like you've got a really good support network. It sounds like you've had a pretty crappy day, what things are you going to do for you today?
    0 x
    pricey1981
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2020 8:15 am

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Sat Oct 10, 2020 4:38 pm

    HelpfulBee wrote:
    Sat Oct 10, 2020 4:16 pm
    It's really great that you're reaching out to friends for support, it sounds like you've got a really good support network. It sounds like you've had a pretty crappy day, what things are you going to do for you today?
    to be honest i'm just taking some time for myself and staying in, i have my brothers house to myself at the moment so just gonna watch some movies and my footy team tonight.
    might go for a drive tomorrow and have lunch somewhere and get some fresh air.
    I guess i have some motivation now that im gonna show everyone who thinks badly of me at the moment that im moving on and push through it and not be that guy anymore
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1854
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Sat Oct 10, 2020 5:33 pm

    Hi ..I know it sounds like you have nothing to live for,but you do
    YOU are what is worth fighting for
    It might look like you have lost everything,and for now perhaps that is the case,but it is NOT too late to turn your life around.
    Give your wife time.
    Do this for yourself,make yourself proud
    We cannot change our past but we can shape our future
    Be strong and good luck
    2 x
    pricey1981
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2020 8:15 am

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Sun Oct 11, 2020 1:40 pm

    I wrote down a list of the things that i did to ruin the relationship and the things i think she did to ruin it as well, it was quite good to reflect and look at those situations and how we could have handled things differently.
    It also made me think about when i started gambling in the relationship and what caused me to go that path and becomes obvious that i gamble when im not happy. It's been my go to for a long time.
    I wasn't gambling when we got together and didnt for a bit because i was happy, i was still heavily in debt from cash loans that was used from borrowing off people for gambling previously but i wasnt gambling for a while there. The gambling started when i started doubting myself and when i was struggling with money and then it kicked off from there and then it was a continual cycle within the remainder of the relationship.
    The problem was i didnt identify it and/or deal with it then and there, i tried to fix it myself when i couldn't and thats where the lies begin.

    Spoke with my Aunty who is really close with my ex and it was a good conversation. She can see things from both our sides so it wasnt coming from one persons point of view.
    It helped me realise that i need to be happy because if im not then these things occur and i need to find a way to deal with being unhappy at times that doesnt lead to putting down bets or borrowing money.

    I have a face to face counselling session Tuesday so im gonna have a fair bit to talk about.
    0 x
    User avatar
    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 355
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Sun Oct 11, 2020 5:42 pm

    Hi Pricey,

    I'm glad to hear that you are moving forward and continuing your journey. You have show great strength and resilience with all that you have had to deal with lately, you should be proud.

    You'll find that as the gambling fog lifts things become a lot clearer. You can look back on the past with a clarity you never thought possible. You can see why you started gambling and why you continued to gamble. Once you identify these you can move forward, put barriers in place to avoid making the same decisions again and falling into the same traps.

    Just make sure you look after yourself.

    Stay Strong and be well.

    JinxyWolf
    2 x
    pricey1981
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2020 8:15 am

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Mon Oct 12, 2020 8:58 am

    JinxyWolf wrote:
    Sun Oct 11, 2020 5:42 pm
    Hi Pricey,

    I'm glad to hear that you are moving forward and continuing your journey. You have show great strength and resilience with all that you have had to deal with lately, you should be proud.

    You'll find that as the gambling fog lifts things become a lot clearer. You can look back on the past with a clarity you never thought possible. You can see why you started gambling and why you continued to gamble. Once you identify these you can move forward, put barriers in place to avoid making the same decisions again and falling into the same traps.

    Just make sure you look after yourself.

    Stay Strong and be well.

    JinxyWolf
    Thanks mate

    i just wish that i dealt with this a long time ago, maybe i wouldnt have lost the person i love more than anything.
    Yeah im putting things in place, goals to keep going.
    0 x
    User avatar
    JinxyWolf
    Senior Member
    Posts: 355
    Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 8:51 pm

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Mon Oct 12, 2020 7:33 pm

    Pricey,

    Yeah we have all had that thought. Wishing we had addressed our gambling issues years ago. We think about how much time we have wasted, the damaged caused to our most valuable relationships. But the most important thing to remember is that you have taken important steps and made the decision to not let gambling ruin your future and that takes real courage and strength.

    Stay strong and Be Well.

    JinxyWolf
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1854
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: Newbie to the forum

    Mon Oct 12, 2020 11:48 pm

    I agree..nothing can change our past and I wish I had made the decision to stop long before I did.
    But stop I did, and so can you
    Don't give up the good fight.stay strong
    You can do this
    0 x

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