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Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 9:46 pm
I’m not a weak person, I’ve gone through a fair bit in my life, but when it comes to poker machines....I am weak. I have no idea why, I really want to know why?
I am living my life full of shame and guilt.
I see other people around town, going about their lives, doing the right thing; paying their bills, providing a good life for their family...and then there’s me.
Addicted to Pokies.
Have spent thousands and thousands. During lockdown I didn’t miss it, saved money and then as soon as they were open again, went straight back. Lost it all.
I do not know what is wrong with me, I love my children with all my heart....why are they not enough to stop me from gambling?
Why can’t I just stop?
I am so tired, sad, guilt-ridden, ashamed, angry, disappointed.
I wish I could start over but I know that even IF I never gambled again, these feelings will never leave me...they are who I am now, because of what I’ve done and I hate myself for it.
Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2020 10:31 pm
Poker machines are designed to addict.
Stopping is extremely hard but can be done as you already know because you did during lockdown.
Once you make the decision to stop,and you must want to as you have posted here, then try and stick with that decision
Have you got a close friend or family member you can confide in.and as hard as you think that can be,quite often they are totally supportive and understanding
Limit the amount if money you carry..carry just enough for essentials and leave any cards at home.
Tell yourself that you won't gamble today
Don't beat yourself up because those feelings go when you stop gambling..
Come here often,perhaps see a counsellor,they are really helpful
,and most of all,don't give up on yourself
Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2020 7:17 am
As Pamela said the machines are "designed to be addictive".
These links will help you UNDERSTAND what those evil bloody machines do!
Draw strength from the 'experience during the 3 month lockdown.
Make "changes" in how and what you normally do. Little things ... put your Car keys at the bottom of the children's toy box ... makes you "Think"... be aware.
5 minutes of awareness can make a huge difference to stepping out the door. It is crazy! Keep fighting the "urges" ... the energy (fire) that builds within DO NOT FEED it! If your Kids have a trampoline --go jump on it ... scream cry do whatever, The "fire" "urge" will go out!
Read posts and blogs and anything you can find to help give you and get YOUR "power" back from those evil machines! "They " are NOT who we are!
I have not set foot in the demon's den for 2 years and 8 months. l come here regularly to read new posts it helps me "remember" the hell it put me through!.
Keep posting Sandg .. it really helps to unload, Especially among people who truly understand. IT is YOUR space use it to help you .
All the best on your journey! A gamble free life is worth fighting for! REMEMBER your words "I AM NOT A WEAK PERSON!"
Posted: Fri Jul 03, 2020 9:13 am
Well said Mona
Those urges are hard to fight at times but they need to be shown who is the boss .
Taking back control is extremely hard,but can be done
I ,like you, come here as it keeps me grounded,and not long ago I read all my posts from when I first started coming here..
The changes are incredible
Never give up the good fight