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  • At wits end

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2020 1:00 am

    At wits end

    Thu Mar 05, 2020 1:16 am

    Hi guys.
    I’m a single 31 year old, with an addiction to gambling.

    I started betting on horses with my father about 10 years ago as a bit of Saturday afternoon fun and for a laugh. Ventured out a couple of times with some friends to the casino to play the pokies.

    All felt quite reasonable and safely handled at these early stages.

    Mid twenties I started visiting the casino a bit more, trying my luck most weeks on the pokies with a few wins here and there and a few minor losses, but I considered it all in good fun.

    Then I began to download the betting apps. Using my credit card to place bets most days and there seemed to be a sharp increase in my gambling habits at that time.

    Late twenties I ran into strife a few times and had to have my parents help me out as I continued to gamble online on the horses and each time I had their help I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again.

    There’s this sick feeling in the stomach when I lose, yet I continued to gamble week by week. Managing to pay most bills on time and rent but blowing the rest.

    Last year I entered a part 9 debt agreement as I had racked up 65,000 dollars in debt from credit cards and loans.

    I thought it was then the perfect opportunity to completely stop my habit and start saving - a part 9 agreement takes all your debts and you only repay a percentage each fortnight over 5 years.
    So I did stop last year, for 6 months and managed to start saving a couple of thousand dollars.

    Then I somehow went back to my old habits. Mainly re signing up for gambling apps and toying around with my leftover money after paying my bills.

    Hours and hours of time, thousands and thousands of dollars. Gone.

    I got paid last Friday, paid everything and had about $1200 leftover for a fortnight - not a bad little package. Well not it’s only Wednesday night and even though all my bills are paid I have $60 to my name to spend on food for the next 8 days, until my next pay.

    I am so sick of this. It’s the same cycle week after week, and it’s killing me inside. I feel sick. I’m sick and tired of this addiction when late last year I thought I was doing well, and then relapsed. I am down and out, I am ashamed and keep thinking about my parents that I am such a disappointment of a man.

    I hate this sickness and don’t know how I’m going to make $60 last the next 8 days.

    I’m not sure how much longer I can keep living like this.

    Good luck all and thanks for listening to my story.
    2 x
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1130
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: At wits end

    Thu Mar 05, 2020 9:58 am

    Hi Trent,

    In here we often hear that lapsIngs are part of the recovery process. Often the fall is different somehow harsher and harder. Often we're told not to look back but in a situation like yours for example' You'Ve had 6 months gamble free and well done for that. Draw strength from those 6 months and your recovery Will be much lighter from that experience!

    You can do this! Stay strong!

    All the best on your journey to a gamble free life!
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    Senior Member
    Posts: 138
    Joined: Thu Oct 11, 2018 10:13 am

    Re: At wits end

    Sat Mar 07, 2020 12:19 pm

    Hey @Trents89 ,

    I'm one of the forum facilitators here.
    Good on you for reaching out and sharing to everyone your experiences, its a big step you have taken.
    It can be difficult coming to accept the financial losses from gambling, in a way its a particular type of grief. In order to move on and to try to stop gambling, acceptance and forgiveness is key.
    How did you manage to stop yourself last year? Maybe it's time to try some of those strategies again to help you overcome this?
    Have you considered getting some gambling counselling along the way for some further support for the long term?
    Think about taking this day by day, this can help to relieve some pressure and make it feel less daunting.
    1 x

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