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  • How to get over the anger and regret?

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1820
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Sat Feb 29, 2020 12:25 pm

    Don't be intimidated..remember the people at those meetings are just like you..having a problem ..they will help and support you..
    There is no shame in asking for help
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 474
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:07 pm

    Good to hear everyones contributions to the forums

    How have things been going for you @Bluetack2 ?
    1 x
    Chunkyquitter
    Member
    Posts: 78
    Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2016 11:34 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Thu Mar 12, 2020 9:36 pm

    Nothing to lose now this Coronavirus has pretty much ended on of my ways to repay people. ***** that stupid person that ate a bat
    0 x
    unitjohnson
    Junior Member
    Posts: 10
    Joined: Wed Mar 27, 2019 9:35 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:33 pm

    Hi Bluetack,
    I used to think that nothing matters anymore since I lost so much money, so I might as well keep going and try to rack up some winnings to replace it. But I've realised, although you hate yourself for losing so much, and it FEELS like money has no value anymore, it's much more valuable and meaningful to you to STOP the habit. Because in the long run, ending a bad habit can only be rewarding. Yes there is a chance you can go tonight and win a grand. I know because last week I won $800! Luckily I kept it, and did important things with it straight away before I lost it again. But it's much more important to try and cut your losses and just stop. That's what keeps us going even though we know it's so bad. Chasing losses. The best thing you can do is to literally forget it, put it behind you, and feel pride in the fact that everything in your paycheck has been well earned and no one can take it away from you. The occasional wins aren't good enough to keep up this bad habit. It mathematically doesn't make sense to keep risking money. In the long run you will never get ahead, so we all have to be stupid to keep going.
    2 x
    Bluetack2
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2020 11:14 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:50 pm

    Calvin (facilitator) wrote:
    Wed Mar 04, 2020 1:07 pm
    Good to hear everyones contributions to the forums

    How have things been going for you @Bluetack2 ?
    Hi Calvin. Forgot my log in details but it’s Bluetack here. Unfortunately I’m back.

    Like many my gambling has skyrocketed during COVID. I stupidly lost the initial $5,000 I mentioned in my original post on horse racing.

    Got paid the next month and have been on a gambling binge ever since. My bank balance has got as high as $20,000 mainly through winning bets but I’ve put myself through so much stress and anger by constantly winning, losing, winning again. I even took $4,000 out of Super after losing some money. Dumb.

    As expected, I’ve lost it all. 10 grand gone in the last few days... my balance is now at only $2000. I’ve spoken to the gambling helpline and have booked in to see a counsellor. I want to kick this habit now. I’ve been tempted to gamble and try to get back to $5000 or so - I justify it by saying I’ll feel better then and be able to stop (and since I’ve been able to win it back before.

    But I know I’ll probably just lose that and then have nothing again.

    The positive news is that I paid the remaining $12,000 off my car loan last week before I lost control again and blew all my savings. Still doesn’t make me feel much better though.

    The hard part is I genuinely enjoy horse racing and all my friends enjoy it too but I can’t watch it without betting - and it always leads to betting huge amounts.

    Trying to look at the bright side - I’m still 21 and if I bank this last $2000 that I have and save $2500 a month then I could have a house deposit by the time I’m turning 25. That’s still my ultimate goal.

    Thanks for all your response on here. Is there a thread of success stories where people have saved from scratch and reached their goals after going through this?
    1 x
    Bluetack2
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2020 11:14 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:52 pm

    And to add to the above post - still on jobkeeper at the moment. I feel sick that I’ve lost everything again because it feels like any savings progress is so slow on a reduced salary and being paid monthly
    1 x
    Bluetack2
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2020 11:14 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Tue Jul 07, 2020 4:55 pm

    Feel even more sick that I had no changed what I was going to bet on today. If I hadn’t changed my mind I would have gotten my money back and been thrilled. I also narrowly lost a bet last night in the most unlucky of circumstances that would’ve changed everything. I know I’m probably just rationalising my gambling but it really hurts to know if I had have gone with my original instinct I would still have all my money
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1820
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:55 am

    Hi,no matter how you look at it..gambling is gambling.Sure you MIGHT have won and got your money back,and you would have been on a high,so you would have felt lucky ,leading to more gambling.
    Ultimately,you never win.
    Sure its tough giving up something you like,or think you like, but you are young and have your whole life ahead of you,so why waste it all on gambling.
    You can't change your friends but you can change your activities,
    Is there anything else you enjoy?
    Like going to a gym?
    Good on you for seeking help,and you can get off this merrygoround with hard work and determination
    Good luck.
    Remember
    I wont gamble today
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 474
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:50 am

    Hi @Bluetack2

    Good on you for choosing to get back in touch on here. Glad to hear you have connected with a counsellor. Sometimes gambling can be a bit of a back and forth game, chasing losses by trying to win is a deceiving way to try to get back on your feet. Like @pamela had said, ultimately you never really win.
    Its important to get to the stage of accepting that the money that is now spent is now in the past. If we start focusing too much on this it can really heighten the temptation to gamble. Even though your savings have decreased imagine how quick you can build this up again with patience and careful consideration for your money. Also..Less stress!

    Even though things may be limited at the moment, are there other activities/hobbies that you enjoy that you can do instead?

    Also if you're experiencing urges, make it a habit to get in touch with the helpline to get support for this they're open 24/7. Sometimes this is enough for you to not act on the impulse to gamble.
    If you would like to read some success stories you can find them here viewtopic.php?f=9&t=31

    Keep pushing through, stay connected
    3 x
    Bluetack2
    Junior Member
    Posts: 9
    Joined: Tue Feb 18, 2020 11:14 pm

    Re: How to get over the anger and regret?

    Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:14 pm

    Calvin (facilitator) wrote:
    Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:50 am
    Hi @Bluetack2

    Good on you for choosing to get back in touch on here. Glad to hear you have connected with a counsellor. Sometimes gambling can be a bit of a back and forth game, chasing losses by trying to win is a deceiving way to try to get back on your feet. Like @pamela had said, ultimately you never really win.
    Its important to get to the stage of accepting that the money that is now spent is now in the past. If we start focusing too much on this it can really heighten the temptation to gamble. Even though your savings have decreased imagine how quick you can build this up again with patience and careful consideration for your money. Also..Less stress!

    Even though things may be limited at the moment, are there other activities/hobbies that you enjoy that you can do instead?

    Also if you're experiencing urges, make it a habit to get in touch with the helpline to get support for this they're open 24/7. Sometimes this is enough for you to not act on the impulse to gamble.
    If you would like to read some success stories you can find them here viewtopic.php?f=9&t=31

    Keep pushing through, stay connected

    Thanks @Calvin (facilitator) and @pamela - your messages are motivating. Haven’t gambled again yet and feel a little better about what I did. It’s crazy how I can get in a state where all I can think about is gambling, adrenaline is coursing and emotions are heightened, and then when I’m not in that mood I don’t even want to gamble? That makes it even more frustrating.


    It still pains me when I focus on how much money I lost but I suppose that will fade the longer time goes on like it did the other times. I’ve lost more in the past and have accepted that, hopefully this is the same. Probably when I get back in a solid financial position with momentum behind me I’ll feel ok.

    You are right, I just need to have patience and practise good habits from now on and I’ll be fine. I think it’s tough sometimes when I think of where I could have been without gambling and when I see peers beginning to think of buying houses and things like that knowing I’ve set myself back, but waiting a few more years isn’t the end of the world.

    I’ve still had the urge to gamble - I keep telling myself that I’ll just get most of what I lost back the other day then limit myself to $100 a weekend or something and I’ll be happy and safe. But in reality I could lose that and have to start over once again. Not worth it. After reading your messages I self excluded from the only account I had that I could’ve bet thousands with. I’ve taken a break with several others for a few months. If I’ve got a better handle on things I might see if I can recreationally use one but if I can’t then I’ll get rid of those.

    Is it realistic to think I could gamble in moderation in the future? Like a few months time? I’d like to think I’d be able to enjoy some small bets on the races with friends at the pub or at the track without losing control or it affecting my mood. Then again, I don’t have the urge to play the pokies when my friends do so maybe I should just do the same when they’re punting on the races.

    Sorry for the long message - feels therapeutic putting everything down in writing
    2 x

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