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  • Shattered

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    LocalLad
    Junior Member
    Posts: 23
    Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 9:02 pm

    Shattered

    Wed Sep 18, 2019 4:41 pm

    Hi all, my story is sadly a familiar one I’m sure. I have a gambling addiction, specifically pokies. I bet the maximum every spin and pump through $50 notes like they’re nothing at all.

    I’ve had this issue on and off for about five years but it really picked up 12 months ago. My lunch breaks are spent in front of these stupid machines day after day, and while I never completely drain my accounts, I still leave with a sickness in my stomach, knowing that my entire week’s work was just flushed away. I’m tired. A few months ago I self-excluded from a venue near work. It was great for a while but, being that I work in the CBD, I found another regular soon enough.

    Yesterday was my first big win a while ($1600) which I left with and deposited straight into my savings. But like an idiot I went back there today and lost the lot. I had several chances to walk away with hundreds more too, but I am a terrible sucker for those damn free spins.

    I’m posting here to put something in writing and hopefully hold myself accountable so my problem doesn’t get any worse. I’ve seen mention of Sunshine September or something. I know we’re halfway through the month but my first pledge is to see out the rest of September gambling-free. Thanks for reading.
    5 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 463
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Shattered

    Wed Sep 18, 2019 5:05 pm

    Hi @LocalLad

    I'm Calvin, one of the facilitators. Good on you for reaching out.

    It can be a stressful time trying to overcome that feeling of wanting to win money or win back money thats been spent. Sometimes it feels unbearable and that its the only thing on your mind.
    At this point in time, its helpful to look at whether there's other urges that come up for you..some people say they gamble due to stress, boredom etc then figuring out what you can do instead.
    Urges come about quite strong but are not long lasting. The feeling after gambling (frustration, anger, stress) are longer lasting. This is where you can ask yourself the ultimate question of is it worth me chasing the temporary satisfaction for a longer lasting feeling of anger, frustration, stress etc.
    When we get stuck in the toxic cycle of gambling, we don't think rationally, we act on our impulses. So allowing some time for yourself to think more thoroughly before making that choice is important.
    You can call the helpline on 1800 858 858 for some further gambling counselling support/referral information. We provide referrals for a face to face counselling service free of charge.
    Some people even find it helpful to call the helpline when they do experience an urge or times where they feel triggered, such as your lunch break at work.

    Good on you for reaching out once again.

    Kind regards,

    Calvin.
    3 x
    Bear22
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Tue Dec 11, 2012 12:44 am

    Re: Shattered

    Wed Sep 18, 2019 6:29 pm

    Hey @LocalLad, yes have been there and done that so know exactly how you feel. If you're looking for accountability join me on my 20 day challenge - viewtopic.php?f=13&t=2271
    3 x
    LocalLad
    Junior Member
    Posts: 23
    Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 9:02 pm

    Re: Shattered

    Wed Sep 18, 2019 7:02 pm

    Thanks very much Calvin. It is out of sheer boredom and doing nothing productive on my break, plus the fact that I work in the city. On weekends the thought of playing is not even there because they’re not close by.

    Great Bear22. I’ll join you, thanks.
    1 x
    LocalLad
    Junior Member
    Posts: 23
    Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 9:02 pm

    Re: Shattered

    Mon Sep 23, 2019 9:40 am

    I’m 4 days gamble-free. I’m not feeling a sense of achievement yet as it’s very early days and the weekends are not my problem, it’s weekdays, so there’s been no real test yet. I also nipped any urge in the bud Thurs & Fri last week by leaving my cards at home but I forgot to take them out of my wallet before work this morning. I know I can do this though.
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 463
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Shattered

    Mon Sep 23, 2019 11:27 am

    Welldone LocalLad Keep it up ! :)
    0 x
    LocalLad
    Junior Member
    Posts: 23
    Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 9:02 pm

    Re: Shattered

    Mon Sep 23, 2019 3:16 pm

    Turns out I am not strong enough. I wasted my lunch break and basically all of my money, just saving enough for rent and a bit left over. I am disgusted in myself. It has to end here. Please let this be the wake-up call I need to cut this stuff out.
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 463
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Shattered

    Mon Sep 23, 2019 4:06 pm

    Its okay to have some set backs, its normal. Its how you get back up again and better prevent it in the near future which is important. We all learn from experiences.
    Great to hear you're still very determined!
    1 x
    LocalLad
    Junior Member
    Posts: 23
    Joined: Thu Jun 28, 2018 9:02 pm

    Re: Shattered

    Mon Sep 23, 2019 5:08 pm

    I need to self-exclude from that venue too. It’s the only one close to work now. The shame this causes is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. Thanks for listening.
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 463
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: Shattered

    Mon Sep 23, 2019 5:28 pm

    Yes that can also help. Keep in mind to call the helpline or get in touch via the webchat on your lunch break or any other time when you're feeling an urge.
    1 x

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