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Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 2:22 pm
by Tilney
Today marks day 4 for me. I’ve been here before though, and relapsed. I didn’t think I could get lower than rock bottom, then I got a credit card... and now that’s maxed out. I’ve officially hit rock bottom.

I’m in a rebuilding process and taking a close eye on my funds when they come in. I have a long way to go (again) but I need to do this. I’m thankful I don’t have kids or a partner to hide my issues from, though, if I did, I may never gotten in this position.

It really is so difficult to stay away from the Pokies when you desperately need money, you go there to win it, but 99% of the time you leave much worse off. Last night I had fifty in my wallet and walked past the Pokies, I stopped on the street and literally had an argument with myself, fighting the prospect of a big win against the reality of the situation. I ended up walking to my car and driving home. It was a small win but it felt good to be home knowing I hadnt gambled.

When I am home I don’t get an urge to gamble, it’s just when I’m out and have some spare time, once I head in, I can be there for 3-6 hours, I was up 5k last week and left with nothing, put heartbreak.

Tomorrow will be day 5 and I’m committed to be strong. I need this forum to help me unpack at the end of the day. I’d love to hear from others who have persevered through this period

Re: Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 5:18 pm
by Mona58
Well done on walking away with your $50. it is NOT easy but does get easier over time.

Find NEW things to do ...I fill my time with reading ... google earth... gardening .... trying new recipes... visitIng friends... and TODAY I'm attempting my first "yeast" bread!

All the best on your journey!


Re: Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 9:17 am
by pamela
Well done on walking proud of that
You realise you cannot win playing the pokies because it eventually all goes back in.
As Mona says..look for a hobby or distraction
It is quite hard to avoid pokies venues sometimes but try taking a different route when you go anywhere to avoid them..
When you get an urge..
stay with the feeling and ask why you need to isn't about winning
Take small steps and remain determined

Re: Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:51 am
by Realme
Hi friend, I’m at Day 17 & want to let you know you can do it too. 17 days ago I was a mess with constant pokies - every time I went out the door of my place I would go to one of the venues (there were a few that I was going to regularly). I was losing a lot of money. As you said, I could also be up by 1k or the latest win I had (2 months ago) over 7k but then the next thing you know, it’s all gone again. One moment you feel excited & rich, all these 50 dollar notes in your purse that you made & then on the same day or next day you’re back in again with all those notes & then bang, nothing made! Zero dollars in your purse. I can’t begin to tell you how often this cycle would happen to me, it’s devastating
My advice is to avoid going to the pokies because it is an uncontrollable cycle that damages your health & your finances. What worked for me is putting goals in place, doing the 100 day challenge, & the support of the community - both here & at the 100 day challenge site. The communities will help you reach your goals. You can do this!!

Re: Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 10:30 am
by Tilney
Thank you everyone for your words of support.

I’m proud to say that today is day 9! There have been urges that’s for sure, but I’m battling myself mentally to stay away. It is getting slightly easier, but I’ve been here before, so I am aware at how slippery the slope is.

My pay check went into bills, credit card debt and groceries. Slowly scraping my way back to even, then it’s saving time. I’m so used to checking my account balance and seeing it below a hundred bucks, it’s been nice to check and be reassured that the money I’ve earned is still there and hasn’t gone to gambling.. I’ve gotta stay strong and hopefully the next 9 days goes just as fast for me

Re: Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2019 4:49 pm
by Calvin (facilitator)
Well Done @Tilney
You've shown a lot of strength! keep up the great work.

Re: Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 4:16 pm
by Tilney
Day 11! I’ve gotten through the weekend!!

Tomorrow will be the big test, as I have a two hour break between teaching far out west of Sydney, I normally go and play the Pokies as there’s nothing to do, and a lot of VIP lightning rooms about.. it’s going to take some control that’s for sure. Every Monday I bring a book and work to do during the break but I always end up going. Last week was easier cos I had to go somewhere during the break.. tomorrow I’m just going to have to fight the urge big time!

I don’t want to ruin 11 days of hard work!

Re: Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:22 pm
by pamela
Well done on getting this far..tomorrow why not leave your purse/money at home when you go to work and then you lower the risk because you can't play with no money

Re: Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Mon Sep 16, 2019 1:08 am
by Tilney
That’s a great idea, Pamela. Im definitely going to do that. Thanks!

Re: Day 4 from the rock bottom

Posted: Mon Sep 16, 2019 11:38 am
by BrittV (facilitator)
That's so great tilney, and an awesome idea pamela :)

Take care tonight, maybe write a list of things you can do with that time instead? Book sounds great. I believe if you get netflix on your phone you can also download things while on wifi to watch?

Again you're doing a great job for yourself :) Keep it up!