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  • New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Let go
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2020 3:34 pm

    No trust and love lost

    Tue Sep 29, 2020 5:27 am

    My invalid husband has secretly lost 80k on gaming in the last 5 yrs. I am his carer and do everything around the house. He sits in his chair and plays pokies on his phone and laptop.all day. He told me it didn't cost anything. The bank told me about the addiction last Monday when I applied for a small loan. I am so shocked. I absolutely despise him as he has destroyed my life. I cant understand why he has done it and thought he could get gaway with it. I am 65 and I dont think I will be happy ever again. I cant tolerate being near him and our 20 year marriage is over all because his gaming took over his entire life.
    0 x
    Hello3 [facilitator]
    Community Manager
    Posts: 63
    Joined: Thu May 21, 2020 8:49 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Sep 29, 2020 8:52 am

    Hi @Let go welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing. I can only imagine how devastating and shocking that news must have been particularly when that trust has been broken. It sounds like it's an incredibly tough time for you right now and I'm wanting to check that you are okay? I'm wondering if you have any supports in place or have considered speaking with a Counsellor? It's really great that you've reached out to our community, I'm going to tag some of our members for some further support @Mona58 @pamela @JinxyWolf
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    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1880
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:30 pm

    Hello and welcome.
    I understand how devastated you must be feeling.
    I know you think your marriage has been ruined
    Caring for a loved one is a tough job ,caring for someone who has an addiction must be tougher
    Have you approached your husband to discuss his addiction?
    Have you considered talking with him ,trying to get help for him?
    Maybe you could work together
    You cannot regain what you have lost,but perhaps you can put strategies into place to prevent him from losing more money
    There is certainly help available for you both,it would be beneficial to speak with a counsellor
    I wish you well
    0 x
    Let go
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2020 3:34 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Wed Sep 30, 2020 10:49 pm

    Thank you for your replies. I am numb with grief. This situation has made my elderly mum sick and she feels as betrayed as I do. I feel I cant put one foot in front of the other. My adult kids are coping quite well. Thay are young and have a future to look forward to.
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 561
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:01 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu Oct 01, 2020 11:04 am

    Hi @Let go Its understandable that you'd feel a sense of grief. It sounds like theres lots going on and when these things happen it can be truly heart breaking. During this time, can you think of any ways to help keep you relaxed and to look after your own mental health?
    1 x
    Johnd
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2020 8:13 am

    First day on-line

    Sun Oct 04, 2020 8:29 am

    I should have done something a long time ago regarding my gambling, I tend to blame others. I can start the day with good intentions but after a few hours at the club and numerous visits to the ATM I am back to where I was a week ago, my gambling puts a lot of pressure on my marriage and family, I am not sure where I should start but here I am.
    2 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1880
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Sun Oct 04, 2020 3:40 pm

    Hi Johnd,welcome to the forum
    You have taken the first step in trying to stop gambling.Admitting you have a problem and asking for help is a great start
    Is there a friend or family member you can confide in and ask for help?
    As tough as it might seem,sometimes its a huge relief
    There are lots of avenues of help available,and it takes a lot of hard work and determination
    You can do this ,good luck
    1 x
    Ballo
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2020 1:16 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Mon Oct 05, 2020 1:21 pm

    Hi, just signed up and ready to change my bad habits. Recently single mother of one and ready to get out of this hole and move forward and buy a house.
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1880
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Mon Oct 05, 2020 8:53 pm

    Hi and welcome
    Well done on wanting to kick the habit and for having a plan and an aspiration..
    Good luck
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    Cg250590
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:02 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu Oct 15, 2020 7:08 pm

    Hello I am new here and I have recently self discovered I have a gambling problem, I am constantly living paycheck to paycheck and hoping for that one big win that always seems to be just around the corner. My wife has lost all trust in me and I am hoping this group of wonderful people could help me out because I feel like absolute crap that something I didn’t think anything of has absolutely destroyed me.
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