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Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2020 11:23 am
by yep123
Hey everyone,

I am new here and i am at the start of my gambling free future! I would like to share my story to see if anyone can relate and give me tips on how to move forward.

I have not gambled from 3 years. Three years ago i gambled 20k on the pokies in a week and it broke me and my family, with help from my loved ones and GA meetings i was able to recover and get back on the right path with life. Four days ago, i went online and spent all my life savings my house deposit everything that i have worked hard for in the last three years. i now know i need support for this addiction for the rest of my life, even if my life gets back on track. So, how do we stop dwelling in what we have lost and move on, How do we forget what we thought our future would be like, and how do we love our selfs again and be happy. I am a strong determined girl with goals. i understand this is a set back, but i don't understand how to move forward and does the pain slow down.

Thank you for reading Laura

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2020 1:28 pm
by TimTam
Hi @yep123

Welcome to the gambling help forums! It's nice to 'meet' you.
You have some really good insight into your addiction, and its great you recognise you need long term support. Do you have any plans in place at the moment to help you stop and get back on track?
Losing money like you did can be a form of grief. It's absolutely ok to be grieving this loss. Take some time, then slowly start to develop some plans of action.
Looking forward to hearing more about your journey.

Tim Tam

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2020 2:57 pm
by yep123
Hi,

Thank you for replying.

My plan so far is just one day at a time. As i am still in shock and disbelief it is hard to overcome.
I guess my first step is to start looking after myself again and then work on a plan to pay of the debt

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:14 pm
by TimTam
Hi @yep123

Absolutely, the shock and confusion can be a really hard part.
Have you looked into financial counselling ever before? When you start to think of a plan to pay back the debt, have a look into free financial counselling through gamblers help

Tim Tam

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:35 pm
by yep123
Hey,

I have not thought of that, thank you i will look into it

Thank you, its a long journey! i have my moments of weakness and moments of strength!

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2020 9:15 pm
by pamela
Hi and welcome and well done for coming here looking for help.
Giving up gambling is like grieving the loss of something special.
That feeling is normal.
We cannot undo our past but ,we can shape our future.
Have you considered counselling?
And,as suggested ,financial counselling.
Do not look back and dwell on what we can't bring back,but look forward,one day at a time.
Have you got a friend or family member who you can confide in that could help you?
Get rid of your online account for starters.
Good luck,don't look back,and be strong

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2020 8:04 am
by TeeDog
Hello, I’m a 35 year old nurse and I’ve been gambling since I became legal age. At first it was just casual, a bit of fun but when I met my ex, we gambled almost everyday. I had to get my pay in advance (wasn’t a nurse back then) and I didn’t have any savings or anything. I broke up with that partner but continued to gamble over the years on and off. My problem is that I can go months without playing pokies but then I get fixated on the idea of playing and winning until I go and play. And then if I start winning, I’ll keep chasing the next win until I lose. My current partner is very much established with their finances- owns a home, has savings and I’m just letting the team down. We are starting IVF and I can’t be selfish and gamble. I need to stop. I’m wondering if I can get myself banned from the pokies? The only reason I’m hesitant is because I don’t want to be banned from actual facilities like our surf clubs or pubs where we go for dinner. Is this possible?

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2020 6:43 pm
by Wenna (facilitator)
Hi @TeeDog ,

Welcome to the forum.

Thanks for sharing your story on the forum. This forum has many supportive members and I am sure you will benefit from engaging and sharing.

It sounds like change is something that is really important for you.

I am wondering if any members can share what they have found useful when they have had feelings of being fixated on gambling?

In relation to self exclusion, please follow the link I have included, then click on the hyper link where it asks you to choose the state you are from https://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/b ... oronavirus

I hope this helps and I look forward to you sharing on the forum.

Warm Regards,
Wenna
Moderator

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2020 10:42 am
by pamela
Hi and welcome and thanks for sharing.
Making the decision to ask for help is the first step in the right direction.
If your partner is "grounded",perhaps you can ask him to help you,by holding onto your cards?
Limit the amount of money you carry..
When you get an urge, don't act on it straight away
Try and focus on 5 things around you,say it out loud,and 5 things outside,taking your time,and 5 things you can hear.
It really helps to ease the urge ..as you concentrate on something else..give it a try..it works
Let the thoughts in,but don't welcome them,,..acknowledge them,then focus on something else.
You can do this so you can have a good life,and think of the goal
IVF
Good luck

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:43 am
by Cools2036
Hi,

Im 35 yo and a father to a 4yo boy and am here to stop gambling from taking anything more from me.
i have a good career, and the potential to be happy.

so im here to learn and let gambling and all its destruction go.

thanks