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Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Mon Jul 13, 2020 4:00 pm
by Stewpus
Hi guys (and gals).
I have been looking over this site for past week and after another week of losing $2-3k. I'm taking the first step to recovery by posting. My gambling has only become an addiction over the past 5 years. I think I started when smoking in pubs was only in a designated area... the pokie room. I was 19. I just played when I had a smoke (I like to sit when I smoke).
I then met my husband ten years later who is also a gambler. It was our social life, going to pubs and clubs playing pokies together. Then playing separate.... because OF COURSE we would double our chances of winning if we played two machines (And double the losses). Of course this led to me spending more and more on my own, then going on my own and now here I am.
I was once a girl who saved for her own house deposit in just over a year, got excited about bills arriving because they were ALWAYS in credit. I loved to budget. I was happy, healthy and financially free. No relationship but I was all of the formentioned.
I take full responsibility for my actions and the $40k + debt I have now acquired in credit card and loans and I need help.
I want my own self back.
I was only planning on saying hi but once I started I couldn't stop typing, sorry.
I have seen a counselor today (about a lot of issues including gambling) but thought this may give me more specific help.

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Tue Jul 14, 2020 2:16 pm
by pamela
Hello and welcome
Well done on coming here and posting
We all start off gambling as a bit of fun and a few dollars here and there until it becomes a way of life.
But,just as we choose to gamble we can retrain our brain to choose not to
Seeing a counsellor is a great idea as it can help understand our need to gamble.
Limit the amount of money you carry ,don't carry any cards on you..
You can do this ,its hard ,of course,but make your Mantra
I won't gamble today
Good luck

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2020 3:38 pm
by Stewpus
Really struggling today.
First time I've had a HUGE urge.
I've tried to keep myself busy. Gone for a walk, cleaned the house, even treated myself and got my hair done for the first time in 8 months. But it won't go away!!
I keep thinking of all the reasons not to: the bills I have, the things I could do with the money. The way I'll feel tomorrow.
Would I give a stranger a handful of cash and say "here you go, just take it". Of course I wouldn't but I would happily chuck it in a pokie.
I'm not one who gambles when stressed or angry. I'm just bored and want to get out and do something fun.
I'm really resisting but scared I won't make it. How do you all do it?

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2020 3:59 pm
by PurpleP
Hey @Stewpus,

I'm sorry to hear today has been a challenge, some days can be so much harder and its just about focusing on the next 10 minutes, 1/2 an hour or hour at a time. It sounds like you have been doing lots of good things to keep you busy and you should be proud of how well you have already gone, keep going with those things I know you can beat this urge.

You might like to have a look through this thread and see if any of the activities spark an interest for you as well - viewtopic.php?f=9&t=34

PurpleP

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Tue Jul 21, 2020 8:08 pm
by Stewpus
Thankyou so much @PurpleP
I have made it this far.
Before I posted I was typing in "urges" in the forum search but was having no luck.
I just bargained with my self before logging back on, saying "If I have no reply to my post I'm giving in" and there you were... my saviour. That link is exactly what I was looking for.
I invited a friend over earlier who kept me occupied until now.
Like you said... minute by minute.
Thankyou again.

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:41 am
by pamela
Hi Stewpus..well done on resisting the urge..it can be extremely hard.
It may not work for you,but in the early days for me,when I got an urge,I would start counting backwards from 300..
It may sound silly,but trust me ,it worked..when I got to 1..i would start again ,until the urge passed
It is worth a try
Don't give up the good fight

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 11:59 pm
by Mona58
Stay Strong Stewpus ! Those "urges" are really crazy. Each urge you overcome makes you stronger. You did well to ride through that one. Well done!

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2020 8:39 pm
by Kevcollingwood
@Stewpus welcome to your new beginning, one day at a time, it is probably the most used advice, that is because if you look to far ahead it can be very daunting, Mark them off on the calendar, When you get an urge, pick it up and ask yourself, can I really undo all this hard work? all the best.

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Sun Jul 26, 2020 3:01 pm
by Stewpus
Unfortunately I let myself down on Friday.
Spent all of yesterday feeling lower than low, hateing myself and calling myself every negative thing I could think of.
Was still that way this morning but after reading more post and supportive messages I'm determined to continue this journey.
I still want to quit this and become the person i know I can be.

Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

Posted: Mon Jul 27, 2020 11:34 pm
by pamela
Hi Stewpus,
Don't be discouraged by this last relapse.
Try and learn from this and become more determined.
What was the trigger to make you gamble?
Keep going and don't give up
You can do this