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  • New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Printemps
    Moderator
    Posts: 904
    Joined: Tue May 04, 2021 8:12 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:46 am

    Good morning and welcome to @BETTY08

    These forums are a welcoming and safe place for you to start your journeys! Everyone here has lived experience and is on their own recovery pathway! You can use these forums as a way to connect with others, find information advice and a bit of extra support!
    0 x
    smokey86
    Member
    Posts: 65
    Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2022 6:18 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Sep 20, 2022 3:54 pm

    Hi @Punny123

    I am extremely sorry to hear about your daughter. I couldn't imagine what you are going through right now!

    I was also using gambling as an escape route - my go to though was always the pokies. (Suggestion if online gambling is to delete all the apps)

    I work in a profession where I deal with trauma every day and although I don't get "blood on my boots" so to speak, It still can sometimes linger with me for quite a while.

    I recently had to deal with a little girl who was trapped in car accident, she literally watched her mother who was also trapped beside her pass away in front of her eyes. The whole situation was absolutely devasting, not only for the girl, but for her family, the responders, the callers etc. People often don't realise how deep the trauma can run and how others can be affected. Immediately after that I had to deal with a deceased body on an island. Yet, I still had to try and put on a brave face and kept moving forward.

    My god send has been this group honestly, the support and promising myself I would check in every day until I'm confident I can beat this addiction. (I am on day 19). I hate letting people down and noticed there were quite a few people here who had done the same dodgy stuff as me was not only re-assuring but I felt like that this is exactly where I was meant to end up at this time.

    I started by talking to one of the counsellors here through messages. I wasn't really sure what to say and after a little while, their words and advice just flowed once they helped me realise what was really going on. Maybe start there?

    Another good thing was the activities - I never realised until I done them, that every time I ventured to the pub, I was already feeling low/depressed, so losing money just hit that bit harder and made me feel more depressed/alone.

    Regarding family members and friends - Only my husband and one online friend knows about my addiction - so I 100% get the shame and guilt you would be feeling right now. To me, if you are turning a table, then there is no need for anyone else to know- honestly, it is none of their business and it is 100% up to you if you ever tell them.

    I have felt comfort in distraction....when I feel an urge- I have a list of things I've written down to do instead.....go for a drive to the beach, do a puzzle/crossword, gardening, fishing, go for a walk, organise a girls day, go for a massage/pamper myself instead, learn Auslan etc.

    You could also start by writing a list of different activities you could do both inside and outside the house?

    Please let me know how you are progressing and feel free to DM me anytime and I'll reply when I can.
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    Punny123
    Junior Member
    Posts: 7
    Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2022 9:41 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Sep 20, 2022 5:19 pm

    Thanks for the reply really means a lot, yes online gambling is so traumatising and dangerous I think it should be banned in Australia I know a lot of people that struggle with it everyday.

    Keep up the good work day (19) with no gambling is amazing day by day is the key a baby needs to crawl before it can walk and when it does walk it falls down and continues to do baby steps we can do this!

    Wow I couldn’t imagine how you feel dealing with that situation and that poor little girl my heart goes out to her. I know we all go through our own problems and there is someone always out there worse off then us.

    I originally went on this site like 3 years ago when I lost more then 10000$ I felt like absolute crap and when on here to seek help I spoke to a councillor there really good on here I just can’t believe I’m still struggling 3 years later I get back up and fall back down with in 24 hours.

    Yeah it’s really hard to open up to close family members around you that actually look up to you and think the world of you my wife doesn’t even know that’s the dangerous part.

    I am going to start writing a list now of what to do during an event of temptation to gamble I’ve contacted my banks deleted all apps and even canceled my keycard I can’t afford to be wasting money during these hard times I just get easily bored with everything.

    Once again thanks for the reply you can also DM me when ever you like.
    1 x
    Danos2292
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2022 8:13 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Sep 20, 2022 5:23 pm

    @Printemps
    @Punny123

    Hi mate really sorry to hear about your situation cancer is tuff, believe it or not I lost my sister (26) years old to cancer a few years ago and I to used gambling as an escape for years, I now realise it takes more then it gives. You can do it mate, I'm almost 3 weeks into not a single bet and I'm feeling great, my life feels like I have done a complete 360, I understand the not talking to family Aswell I used to tell my mum, she tried to help but felt a bit judgmental at the same time not her fault but she just didn't understand, but speaking to people here really helps we all have some kind of understanding to what each other are going through.. I thought it was impossible for me after 12 years of gambling but if I can do it you can to mate, always here for a chat! :)
    2 x
    Punny123
    Junior Member
    Posts: 7
    Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2022 9:41 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Sep 20, 2022 8:37 pm

    Thanks for the message mate, I’m so sorry to hear that about your sister yes cancer is hard when you see someone you love suffer it’s a traumatising roller coaster one minute your up then your down all sorts of thoughts go through your head that gives you the motivation to go into destruction mode and start gambling I must say gambling addiction has to be the worst addiction I’ve ever had I’ve lost thousands of dollars I’ve had really good jobs since the age of 18 but seem to always relapse and blow my savings thinking I can jag a big win and make my life easier but what a big lie that is.

    Wow 3 weeks of not gambling is a big accomplishment give your self a big pat on the back.
    I’m only 2 days With out gambling But we can do this I never wanna feel like a failure again.

    You can also message me to if you need to chat It’s good to know I’m not the only person going through this gambling addiction.
    1 x
    smokey86
    Member
    Posts: 65
    Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2022 6:18 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Wed Sep 21, 2022 5:54 am

    Hi @Punny123

    Good morning!

    How'd you go with your list?

    It's going to be a very rainy day here today. So, I might just do some grocery shopping, watch movies with the kids and maybe some crafts.

    We're currently on holidays, so trying to do little things with the kids every day to keep them happy and me distracted.
    1 x
    Punny123
    Junior Member
    Posts: 7
    Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2022 9:41 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Wed Sep 21, 2022 10:11 am

    My list is going good have a lot planned over the school holidays last day of school is Friday for the kids and my daughter has chemotherapy today so I think I’m going to be pretty busy.!

    And that sounds like a nice relaxing holidays! It’s the little things that count that gets us through the day and the big blessings follow! Gotta love kids they keep you distracted and put us in the right path!
    2 x
    Pikachu
    Moderator
    Posts: 157
    Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2022 3:48 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Wed Sep 21, 2022 4:47 pm

    Good afternoon everyone~
    Welcome new members for joing this community!
    @the_wanderer, @bananarama, @NeedBank, @Village

    This community is a safe place for you to get the support and help you need in your journey. I am a facilitator here with @Printemps. If you have any question or need some extra information, just @ us in your post! :o
    Look around the forum and hopefully you will get more motivation and strength from others inspiring journey! :);
    1 x
    smokey86
    Member
    Posts: 65
    Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2022 6:18 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Wed Sep 21, 2022 7:15 pm

    @Punny123 yeah, our boys are already on holidays.

    We just came back from dinner and now just chilling at home.

    We have tickets booked tomorrow to go to a big indoor play center thing with them so I'm hoping it's as good as it sounds. It's meant to storm here tomorrow, so hoping the weather doesn't wreck their power supply etc.

    I hope your daughter's chemo went as well as can be expected.
    0 x
    GambleFree
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2020 4:39 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Sat Sep 24, 2022 2:05 am

    Hi everyone,

    I’m 28 years old. 5 years ago, a friend of mine took me to a casino for the first time and I played with $50 and came out with $750. Few months later, before I realised I already lost around $3,000. A year later, someone introduced me to sports betting and I started there with $10 and had a few wins. Won a few times and lost most of the times and kept on chasing my losses. 5 years later today, I do not have any savings in my bank account and lost around $35,000 in total last 5 years in gambling. In last 5 years, I would usually bet on and off but since last 8 months I’ve been betting on a regular basis and It’s only few days back that I realised that I have actually developed an addiction and it’s worse than ever. I watched few documentaries on YouTube about people who lost millions of dollars gambling, people who committed suicide coz they lost every penny to gambling and that actually opened my eyes on how serious of an issue this is and how it affects people the way drugs and alcohol do. I’m turning 29 in 2 months and previously thought I’m gonna quit gambling when I turn 29 but I’ve decided I’m going to quit today itself as gambling really is nothing but self destruction. You win you lose you win you lose again and again and again till nothing’s left. I’ve lost 5 years of my life to gambling but no more. Thanks for reading :)
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