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  • New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1805
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu May 21, 2020 1:44 am

    Hi Brody9090,
    You said your motivation was your partner,,then put all your energies into your relationship.
    Gambling will not bring you long term happiness
    0 x
    Flick86
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Tue May 12, 2020 8:53 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Jun 02, 2020 7:57 pm

    Hi to all the new people that have signed up recently. I know how you're feeling. I have been depressed as a result of gambling losses at many stages of my life.
    I have been gambling for about 50 years. I started when my neighbour showed me a formguide for the horses when I was about 10. She said she would be put some bets on for me. They all won. Worse thing that could have happened. The gambling bug had bitten me. I gambled for decades.
    Fast forward to 1999. I had decided I needed to give up gambling to look after my ailing mother after my father passed away. I saw a counseller who was very good. I found alternative hobbies. It was hard work and I had many urges but kept passing milestones. 1 week, 1 month, etc. I took up swimming and some other positive activities. I was going great guns but not long after my mother passed away in 2003 I found myself slowly but surely getting back into gambling. In 2010 I went out of control with my gambling losing a lot of money which included my inheritance. I was so ashamed of myself. I felt like I had let my parents down for all there hard work. I managed to give up for a few years after that but after some bad personal relationships I started up again in 2013. I wasn't losing much initially but since last year i was losing a lot more than I could afford which reached a bad climax a few weeks ago. I have vowed to give up for good now. Closed all my betting accounts, etc. I'm approaching almost a month gambling free. It hasn't been easy. I still crave for the rush but I'm starting to change my thinking. I realise those winning rushes are very temporary and are far outweighed by those horrible feelings of losing and despair.
    I just wanted to let everyone know that you can succeed over gambling. I have done it in the past and although I have had some major lapses I are more determined than ever to beat this hideous addiction.
    Please continue to use these forums as inspiration and help to get control over gambling. If you feel like gambling just get straight onto this site and start writing about how you're feeling. Don't be embarrassed about what you're experiencing. It's best to tell it how it is. Many of us know exactly how you feel and maybe we can offer some advice. Stay strong and see every day without gambling as a victory. Small steps will turn into big ones!!
    3 x
    Wenna (facilitator)
    Member
    Posts: 35
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 5:02 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Jun 02, 2020 10:01 pm

    Hi Flick86,
    Thanks for sharing your story on the forum. I can see you have engaged in many strategies which have supported your progression to stop gambling and I sense a real determination in how you are going about it.

    I look forward to reading more about your journey on the this forum.

    All the best
    Wenna
    Moderator
    1 x
    User 5ed8f245ec799
    Junior Member
    Posts: 2
    Joined: Thu Jun 04, 2020 11:10 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Thu Jun 04, 2020 11:53 pm

    Hi Everyone
    I’m 35, I’ve been gambling unsuccessfully off and on for the last 17 years, lost hundreds of thousands,but it’s probably more the time I’ve wasted and the people I’ve let down that gets to me more.
    I’m tired, tired of the battle.

    I was on a good flow there for a bit, I had about ten weeks away from it all. Than for whatever reason I started up again 6 days ago and have lost nearly 7 grand in under a week.
    It’s painful , I’ve spent the last week in a frenzy just trying to get even, but only digging myself in deeper.
    It goes against my moral code to bet of horses and greyhounds as I’ve heard so many stories of the cruelty they experience. Yet recently, disappointingly I’ve found myself back betting on them.

    I’m finding it hard to simply write last weeks loss off and it’s going to take a fair while to save back up. - Any suggestions on this ?

    I think the 100 day challenge is something I need to look at starting tomorrow

    Thanks 🙏
    1 x
    Alex73
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Sat Jun 06, 2020 12:50 am

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Sat Jun 06, 2020 1:02 am

    Hi. My name is Alex. I turnt to gambling after a failed 17 year relationship. Things began to go downhill I went bankrupt at the start of the year, was in between jobs, hanging around the wrong person and stole from my housemate to gamble. I had all my belongings in a bedroom I rented at her house and she recently threw it all away everything I owned. I tried to get her to let me get my belongings and she wouldnt I am devastated.
    1 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1805
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Sat Jun 06, 2020 9:40 am

    I'm sorry to hear how bad things have got for you.Have you reached out to anyone for help e.g. a counsellor?
    It isn't too late to start over again even though things look bleak.
    Don't give up ,make clear decisions and start again..small steps ..one day at a time
    Good luck
    0 x
    gzy3
    Member
    Posts: 98
    Joined: Thu May 09, 2019 3:39 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Sat Jun 06, 2020 2:29 pm

    Welcome to this forum @User 5ed8f245ec799 and @Alex73
    I am one of the moderators here. I appreciate your first step to tackle your gambling concern.

    @User 5ed8f245ec799 Sorry to hear that you have recently relapsed and lost money. It will only go better from where you are now.
    What triggered you to gamble again? Sometimes it is helpful to identify and know risky situations that could make you feel gamble.
    Remember you were able to stay away for long before. How did you achieve that when things went well?

    @Alex73
    I can hear it has been very difficult for you with breakup after a long relationship and gambling has been a way to cope with it.
    As pamela asked you, have you got any support or do you have any friends or family that you can openly talk?
    Talking to counsellors about what you are experiencing may help you find ways to manage your gambling and also your life situation.

    Stay on this forum and I hope you will feel understood and supported. Keep us updated.
    1 x
    Chad20
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Sat Jun 06, 2020 11:07 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Mon Jun 08, 2020 2:16 pm

    Hi I have been gambling for well over 10 years now. At first it was just a bit of fun in the pokies after drinking with my mates. Then it was a multi bet on some sport, I’ve played sport at a decent level, so betting on sport made the games more interesting even if it wasn’t my team playing. Then I started to get on the races. I’ve lost so much financially and I’m only in my mid 30’s. Luckily I have no debt and not behind in my mortgage.

    Each pay I make sure I pay my bills immediately so I don’t end up in financial disarray. Then what’s left, without a doubt I blow it on gambling online. Even when I get up I end up losing it. Particularly if it’s a Saturday, I get up, put a withdrawal request in on my online account and always cancel it and bit by bit I lose it. I never make it to the Monday for them to process the pending withdrawal. Yesterday I was up, lost it all and today I realized I’d ran out of deodorant so had to get some coins together to buy some- that’s how desperate I am.

    Even with self excluding, where there’s a will there’s a way and I always find a way to gamble. Plus of course, I can just go down the pokies or TAB and bet there. I’m a bet big win big kind of person. When I get frantic though I’ll do a big bet on a favourite, if that’s doesn’t get up, I find myself chucking $50 on a roughie to try and recover my losses until I have nothing

    I always lose my pay so quickly. I have a great well paid job and am well educated, I know the stupidity of gambling but I can’t seem to break the cycle. I’m too embarrassed and ashamed to tell my partner, friends or family of my addiction, they look up to me as someone who is wise and responsible so I just can’t bring myself to ask them for help. I also play the character they see me as and talk about “feeling sorry for problem gamblers” or judging someone who bets too much and agreeing with my friends or family in their criticism of a person we know who bets too much. I do it to deflect any suspicion on me.

    Yesterday was the last day of me betting. I chatted online to your counseling service which was a great initial step. I then found the forum and have spent today reading people’s posts, signing up to a 100 day challenge and watching some videos on gambling addicts that I saw suggested in this forum. All have been really helpful and motivating for me today that I’m not alone.

    I can’t believe for so long I have thought my feelings and actions were just me and my stupidity. I honestly can’t believe how many people chase their losses, hide from their loved ones, lose their wage immediately and then frantically think of ways to get money and make up stories of why you need to borrow money til your next pay just for food. I do all that stuff. Luckily I am not in debt though but I know where this will end if I don’t stop and get help.

    I have a partner now if 2 years who is the love of my life. I want to make her proud. We have our own houses we own but we recently purchased a caravan together but she paid for it and I’m paying off my half over the next 10 months. So that is my goal. To pay that off, not gamble and get savings behind me.

    I read someone else’s story about lieing to friends and cancelling catch ups cos they are broke from losing- this is so me. My next pay is in 10 days, that will be my first challenge. Luckily it coincides with a promotion at work I have just successfully gained so my new role is the real starting point for the new, better and gambling free version of me.

    I’ve done the goals and self help guide on this site today, 1 thing cos I don’t want to tell my loved ones is setting realistic goals. I know maybe 3 times a year I will end up at the pokies or casino cos I’ve gone for dinner. I won’t suggest those places but I know they’ll happen. My partner and I have a favourite restaurant at crown so I know I’ll end up there once lockdowns end. I can’t be like no I’m not gambling cos I don’t want to raise suspicions. I have set the goal of $50 max, lose it, win with it, whatever happens 1 thing I NEVER want to do again is try and CHASE my losses.

    I will also be Chatting online particularly my first few pays to have a counselor help me stay focused and resist the urge on pay day. I will also be on here posting on this forum, I’m an extrovert so I will ramble and let it all out when I’m feeling good bad or just flat which I’ve just done in this post by rambling all my feelings and goals- but I do want to be held accountable by you guys. This support on the forum will be really important to me beating my addiction. Thanks for reading if you made it through!
    2 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1805
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:24 am

    Well done on recognising you have a problem..it amused me when you said you go to the Crown for a meal but you won't say no to gambling as you don't want to raise suspicion..you don't need an explanation..just say no..you will be surprised how people will react..you might cop a bit of flack but so what...you have many things to look forward to so enjoy them without the chains of gambling..you can do this ..
    1 x
    Chad20
    Junior Member
    Posts: 12
    Joined: Sat Jun 06, 2020 11:07 pm

    Re: New here? Change makers introduce yourself here!

    Tue Jun 09, 2020 11:19 am

    @pamela
    Thanks for the response. I totally understand what you’re saying, I will say no like you suggested. I just don’t want to set myself back if it doesn’t go to plan and then I throw my hands in the air and beat myself for breaking my goal. I really don’t want to gamble, this time of quitting is different because I have reached out for help and verbalized I have a serious addiction. I just don’t want to set myself unrealistic goals that’s all
    0 x

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