Welcome to our online peer support community - A supportive place for anyone making change in their gambling, as well as concerned friends and family.
  • Connect, be inspired, motivate others. Share your experience & strategies.
  • Safe. Confidential. Professionally moderated. Free of judgement.

    Before you can post or reply, join our online community today.
  • I want to stop.

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Agent79
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:11 pm

    I want to stop.

    Fri Jun 28, 2019 11:00 pm

    Hello. I would to say first off that there may be times where the story goes all over the place, but what I wish to do is try and provide as much information as possible regarding my experience. It is more of a rant of my biggest flaw as a human being. So lets begin

    I am in my 20's, currently second year at university. The main reason for going is to get a degree for better employment opportunities. After graduating high school, I originally when to an art school (completely regret). I dropped out because there was no chance of good employment once obtaining my degree. The only way to get connections in the industry was via some very snobby individuals with very uncomfortable lifestyles.

    After dropping out, my next option was to move back to my home town and find work. I had worked in retail during high school so I have something on my resume The problem is that it is a regional town with limited employment opportunities. After dozens of rejected applications, in some cases I believe I have been blacklisted by two companies, I decided to move towards the pokies. I have given up on finding work because it is the same result (I can work 24/7 if i have to, i have nothing holding me back)

    Last year, I started my new degree, this one I am confident with and finding it worthwhile. When I applied, it was a 2 month break from the pokies. Everything else in my life is good, family, friends, interests etc. The big problem that gets in the way is finding part-time employment. So the pokies came back, hard. Because there is no chance of finding a job now, it means the only things I spend my money on are groceries, petrol and the pokies.

    I have only have 5 or 6 big wins in the past 6 months that I have been impressed with, one of them being almost $700. It may not seem much to other forum members but it is a big deal for me. It has now got to a point where I am able to identify certain groups or classes that always win big, they each have a different approach to the pokies that guarantees a huge win. It is always them, but no one else seems to question their actions.

    Now the easiest option for someone to say to an unemployed guy is "focus more on your hobbies that are not gambling related". How is that even possible when no employer will ever go by the content of someone's character anymore. If I have to go into a boxing match with someone who wants the same job, I will do it.

    I have tried two gambling phone hotlines and both have been completely useless and pushed me to gamble more. They only seem to be doing this "volunteer" work to be smug. The last forum that I tried submitting my story too would not post it, because being 100% honest and uncensored is seen as hurtful and cruel.

    I want to try and go to a gamblers anonymous meeting but I feel I will be kicked out because a young person going to such an event is seen as a joke.

    The big thing is that not one of my family or friends knows about this demon.
    2 x
    User avatar
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 286
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: I want to stop.

    Tue Jul 02, 2019 5:25 pm

    Hello @Agent79, welcome :)
    Thank you for sharing your story - it takes courage!

    It's disappointing to hear that you feel like seeking help has pushed you to gamble more. There are many people in this community who are around your age. It would be great to hear from them whether they've tried GA meetings, and how it's gone for them, because there's definitely no age rules/jokes that would mean you weren't welcome.

    Have you had a read through other threads? You might find connecting with others, especially those in their 20's, to be motivating - hearing things they've tried that might work for you :)

    Looking forward to hearing how things are going for you.
    0 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1662
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: I want to stop.

    Tue Jul 02, 2019 6:25 pm

    Hi Agent 79..can I first say that you will not be kicked out of a pokies anonymous meeting because of your age..you are lucky in a way that you have recognised your problem and want to do something about it.you would be made welcome no matter what your age is
    Be determined to make a change in your life and you will be able to do it..
    Don't give up
    1 x
    Under the rug
    Member
    Posts: 36
    Joined: Sun May 06, 2018 6:09 pm

    Re: I want to stop.

    Thu Jul 04, 2019 12:20 am

    Go to a meeting, it will be the best thing you will do right now. I went twice and it was enough to keep me away from the machines for nearly 10 months because it was an eye opener. I relapsed but back on track now.

    It’s crazy, I’ve never felt so supported in a room of people I had only know for 5 minutes. I was 23 at the time and was the youngest in the group. They motivated me even more because of my age. “You have your whole life ahead of you, don’t let this problem go on for 10..20... years. The best time of your life is these years. Don’t waste them”

    I’ll never forget it

    I thought I was the only one that had this issue, but being in a room speaking about the same issue with other people fighting the same battle is comforting.

    I wish you the best

    D.
    2 x
    Agent79
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:11 pm

    Re: I want to stop.

    Fri Jul 05, 2019 11:11 pm

    Thank you for all of these responses. I just wanted to say that I am currently almost 3 days since my last gamble. The last one was for me a farewell to this bad choice. I made the decision to go ahead and gamble so I will be the one getting away from it. I plan on going to the next GA meeting to get the help I need to keep away from it for a long time. I have started to write down plans to get myself motivated, I have small goals that I know I want to achieve.
    I would consider myself to be a severe self-critic, so any fault not matter how minor it is I make would be a constant memory, therefore, when such a thing occurs, I place these faults as something to learn from to make sure it will not happen again.
    1 x
    User avatar
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 286
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: I want to stop.

    Tue Jul 09, 2019 12:37 pm

    So great that you're planning to head to the GA meeting - looking forward to hearing about it :)

    Thanks for the update. How you doing this week?
    1 x
    Agent79
    Junior Member
    Posts: 3
    Joined: Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:11 pm

    Re: I want to stop.

    Thu Jul 11, 2019 4:34 pm

    I went to the GA meeting and I have to say it was very refreshing. Going to the GA meeting made me reflect on how much gambling became a requirement to do. It has been 8 days since my last slap, there was a bit of withdrawal first off but since then I have not gone to the pokies. Two nights ago I went to my local to meet with a couple of mates, I went to buy a drink at the players bar and walked out with my drink. There was no second thought of having a slap, I got my drink and walked out.

    I was focused primarily at the bar. All the pokies around it was not getting my attention.
    2 x
    needing help
    Junior Member
    Posts: 16
    Joined: Fri Aug 02, 2019 3:46 pm

    Re: I want to stop.

    Fri Aug 02, 2019 5:24 pm

    Hi there. Well done on the change! hope you are going well
    0 x

    Return to “The Courtyard”