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  • Continue to fight...that's what we must do

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    Jasmine
    Member
    Posts: 75
    Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2014 4:49 pm

    Continue to fight...that's what we must do

    Sun Jun 23, 2019 7:16 am

    Hi,
    I am clean for six months and here I am back again. Though the damage is minimal financially but enormously for my mental state.

    Three triggers- money, loneliness and stress, drive me to the pokie machines yesterday. Job has been stressful recently and I should have seen a counsellor. Husband is away for a week so I have had time and freedom to go to the venue. And money! Since last six months, I put all my pays into our joint account (that I am now allowed to access lol how funny it's called a joint account). Having no money really stops me from gambling. Though during the last six months, I manage to save $1000 from the money my husband gave me each week.
    Last night, the 1,000 was gone in an hour. It took me six months to save it! Gone in an eye blink! How stupid I am. I should have used it to pamper myself...

    I have $10 left till my husband is back tomorrow. My fridge is full of food so I am more than OK. But mentally, I still keep thinking about the loss and how I can find money to go back there. 1 more day before my husband is back from his work trip...time is running out...time to feed $ to the machines is running out!!! Lol crazy mind.

    So I went online last night and tried to guess my husband's password to his internet banking! This is a household criminal. After many attempts, luckily i failed to guess!

    So I can't go back.

    So I will be restless and mourning today. Then go back to work on Monday with this miserable feeling.

    Life of a gambler... On a positive note, at least I only lost $1,000 in six months.

    I have to continue living a resilient life. Thanks.
    3 x
    dragon007 (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 181
    Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2018 11:07 am

    Re: Continue to fight...that's what we must do

    Sun Jun 23, 2019 9:42 am

    Hi @Jasmine

    Though you have had a lapse yesterday, you have had the strength to gambling free for the last 6 months, that shows that you do have the strategies to be gambling free again.

    It is important not to beat yourself up over this lapse, as it may make you feel like gambling more.

    Learn from this lapse and put into place strategies that will help you to avoid this situation in the future.

    Having extra money and the time to gamble is definitely a temptation to gamble. You could try to limit your access to funds especially when your husband is away.

    It is always important to reward yourself regularly for your hard, you may want to set goals to reward yourself every week, month, etc.

    Jasmine, don't be too disappointed in yourself, keep trying and focus on today.

    Take care

    dragon007
    2 x

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