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  • I'm a disgrace and failure!!!

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    User 5ba345a9ae3c6
    Junior Member
    Posts: 1
    Joined: Thu Jun 06, 2019 1:22 pm

    I'm a disgrace and failure!!!

    Thu Jun 06, 2019 1:55 pm

    My story as many similar started way back when I was around 15. I went into a racing establishment with a relative and was given $2 to put on (of course not by myself but by the relative). I managed to turn that $2 into $25. Years passed and school took over.

    Fast forward to 18 where I would start to gamble on horses etc and be spending a couple hundred dollars a week on this, this was the cycle for 4-5 years until I hit the stage where I would pay my bills and buy food on payday and then gamble every last cent I had. This cycle continued on for another number of years.
    Around 3 and a half years ago I lost a good friend of mine and the gambling spiralled out of control racking up debt after debt. In this time I have had to deal with the mental demons etc which I have come a long way with but I find myself still gambling and haven't been able to pay back any of the debt I have accumulated. I'm now 29 and want to get married and have kids etc but I can't while I'm still gambling.

    I have read I need to work out what a trigger is for me that leads to my gambling, the issue there is anything is a trigger for me!! I'm sad I gamble, I'm happy I gamble, I'm stressed I gamble, I'm angry/ frustrated I gamble. I feel I will gamble for any reason whether thats to numb underlying pain or to escape or to win etc.

    At this current stage I'm not sure what to do or where to go for help. I have lapsed over and over again and don't know where to turn to or what to do!! If anyone has ideas tips, hints etc please let me know as I'm passed breaking point!!!
    3 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1056
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 12:44 pm

    Re: I'm a disgrace and failure!!!

    Thu Jun 06, 2019 2:46 pm

    Hi,

    So you have worked out what your triggers are. The main one is simply having money .

    Closing the door on gambling is easy. But dealing with the anxiety of withdrawals is hard.. this is where we need to find other ways to fill the gap and keep an active life... even at times we need to learn to sit and do nothing , just enjoy the moment... but this all takes time. How long a time depends on you and how tightly you close that door.

    You are not a failure ... you found the strength to open a door and taken a peak at a new life waiting for you.

    If you can find a local Gamblers Anonymous meeting it is worth taking a peak to see if it suits you. You could call the gamblers helpline on 1800 858 858 and they can help locate a counsellor and also offer advice.

    All the best on your journey to a gamble free life.

    Be strong & stay strong!

    Mona
    2 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1716
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: I'm a disgrace and failure!!!

    Fri Jun 07, 2019 2:39 pm

    You have started your recovery by coming here.Be determined and remember why you want to stop gambling..get married and have kids..make that the driving force to stop ..
    Good luck
    2 x
    Chunkyquitter
    Member
    Posts: 73
    Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2016 11:34 pm

    Re: I'm a disgrace and failure!!!

    Sat Jun 08, 2019 1:24 am

    You’ll be able to quit for sure. I’m 42 and have been were you are.

    If I could give the 29 year old version of myself some advice it would be make sure your wife has control or atleast can see your bank accounts, knows how much you earn and pay the bills etc.


    You’ll thank me later when you able to buy things and not hate yourself for having to hide you gambling.


    Triggers will always happen, but having access to funds will fuel the fire.

    You also have make sure you’re willing and not worried to make sure that gambling is not part of your life. There is nothing to really miss about it, gambling is pretty much self loathing and misery.


    Good luck with getting to where you want to be
    2 x
    User avatar
    fmkosi
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2019 2:47 am

    Re: I'm a disgrace and failure!!!

    Sun Jun 09, 2019 2:50 am

    Nice story, thx for that
    2 x
    User avatar
    BrittV (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 399
    Joined: Mon May 14, 2018 11:40 am

    Re: I'm a disgrace and failure!!!

    Tue Jun 11, 2019 9:29 am

    Welcome to the community @User5ba345a9ae3c6!
    Sounds like you have something important to you to work toward (marriage and children) and some really fantastic reflection.

    Some amazing advice here from some great members of our community! Looking forward to hearing how things are going for you and some strategies that you try.
    1 x

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