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  • Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    For people making and maintaining change in their gambling. Connect, ask questions, offer advice, and share your story in here. If you are new to the site drop in and say hello!
    DNG
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:35 pm

    Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:48 pm

    Hi all, I am DNG from Singapore.
    I am 48 yo this year and has been addicted to gambling since I was 26. I had lost easily $500k in the last 22 years, initially in casino and more recently in Soccer betting.
    Gambling has ruined my life, financially in huge debt and ended up in divorce recently. The problem is I couldn’t get out of it despite knowing the harm it has done, keep wanting to chase back the losses and win one big time to recoup all losses and start life afresh. But then, as we know, we will never beat the odds, and my problem just get bigger and bigger.
    I am very determine to quit this time round after failing to do so in many previous attempts. The reason why I failed is due to lack of self determination and encouragement from support group, I.e. people with the same problem but eventually overcame the habit and start life afresh.
    Hence, I would like for friends here to constantly provide words of encouragement and positive stories to tide me through in this very difficult moments....
    Thank you friends, may your encouragement and words of advice help me to get rid of the nemesis in me for the past 20 over years.
    2 x
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1675
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:25 pm

    Hi DNG..good on you for coming here asking for support.We all encourage each other on this forum an all have valuable input.Wanting to stop and being able to is two different things but with hard work and time you can stop.I too wasted many years and $thousands$$$$@. Until I stopped nearly 4 years ago and it is the best thing I have ever done
    You have to work at it and the underlying reasons why we gamble.
    I really wish you all the best
    0 x
    DNG
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:35 pm

    Re: Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Mon Apr 29, 2019 2:42 pm

    Hi Pamela,

    Thanks for the encouraging words.

    I had tried many times previously to get rid of the problem but relapse as many times due to wanting to recoupe losses and gain back my pride and life..... really hate myself for being such a failure in life.

    I really need such encouragement to get myself out from this predicament once and for all.

    Thank you 😊
    1 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1024
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

    Re: Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Mon Apr 29, 2019 5:08 pm

    Hi DNG

    It will help if you watch some YouTube videos about gambling. It takes a lot of energy to resist those temptations. Make plans to do other things to replace gambling.

    All the best On your journey

    Mona
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    DNG
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:35 pm

    Re: Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Mon Apr 29, 2019 5:16 pm

    Hi Mona,

    Thanks for the suggestion and encouragement.

    I tried previously when I attempted to quit, but always succumbed to the temptation and also the urge to recoup losses. Just can’t let go the losses incurred then... but now, I have to really start to realise that the hole will just get bigger and bigger unless I stop once and for all.

    So what if I recoup all losses? I will just dwell into it and and start losing again and then back into the vicious cycle again.

    The longest streak for not gambling was 45 days and then all hell breaks loose again. This time round, I need to be very strong and determined to avoid really getting into a situation of no return.
    1 x
    Mona58
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1024
    Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 11:44 am

    Re: Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Mon Apr 29, 2019 8:32 pm

    Yes you must look forward.

    Going over the videos again in a different time with different attitude may well give a different perspective and even fill in things you may have missed.

    Stay strong
    0 x
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.~Confucius
    pamela
    Senior Member
    Posts: 1675
    Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 9:38 pm

    Re: Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Tue Apr 30, 2019 8:53 am

    We all know that you never recoup your losses..be determined and strong..if you have gone 45 days previously then you can do it again..
    Try and find a new interest..
    1 x
    Samantha
    Junior Member
    Posts: 8
    Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2013 8:43 am

    Re: Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Tue Apr 30, 2019 12:18 pm

    hi @DNG

    Congratulations for doing this. Its easy to keep going down the same path, but really hard to quit.
    So I commend you.

    Take each day at a time. Don't look too far ahead.

    Every day, have a goal to make it to bed without gambling. Once your head hits the pillow, and you haven't gambled, that's one more day and makes tomorrow that little bit easier.

    all the best!
    2 x
    DNG
    Junior Member
    Posts: 4
    Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2019 1:35 pm

    Re: Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Wed May 01, 2019 1:46 pm

    Into the 3rd day, still facing a lot of temptation but managed to avoid going into betting kiosk by heading home direct from work.

    Having a lot of negative thought and the future seems so bleak and dark... how am I going to walk through this? Am I gonna to lose my job and custody of my loving kids? Am I gonna to end up taking my life? All just seems so dark, so bad and so hopeless.
    2 x
    Calvin (facilitator)
    Senior Member
    Posts: 300
    Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2018 4:01 pm

    Re: Need encouragement from support group to quit my gambling addiction

    Wed May 01, 2019 4:33 pm

    Hello @DNG

    I'm Calvin, one of the facilitators here on the forums.

    You've shown great courage in reaching out for support. As you may find, other members also have some similar experiences with gambling.

    Chasing losses can be quite toxic and you're right it allows the cycle to continue.

    To overcome a gambling habit, yes its important to have determination but practicing acceptance and forgiveness is equally important.
    Forgiving yourself for gambling and the pain it has caused you, also accepting that the money that has been spent is now lost and that no amount of chasing can get it back.

    Great to hear that you are onto the third day of not gambling, what activities or hobbies do you enjoy doing that can substitute the gambling?

    Urges can come about randomly, when an urge arises, ask yourself is it worth satisfying that temporary urge for an extended period of time filled with longer lasting pain and hurt. Sometimes we can really put a lot of pressure on ourselves, but it is important to create short and realistic goals at first and to also be patient with yourself.

    The feelings of hopelessness that you're experiencing are quite common. Its only natural for anyone to feel this way, but you've shown some great strength in continuing to reach out and share your story with everyone. Along the journey we may ride the waves of some intense emotions, however its important to also have as much support around you also, whether that be loved ones or a counsellor.

    Have you thought about seeing a gambling counsellor?

    If you need further support over the phone or via webchat you can call our helpline on 1800 858 858 or call Lifeline on 13 11 14 if these emotions intensify and you're in need of support.

    Kind regards,

    Calvin
    1 x

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