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The final straw..

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2019 8:58 pm
by Unknown1
I’m new to this site and have been reading all the post on here.. I thought I was alone but there are people in the same boat as me.. so I thought I would write a post to admit I’ve a problem.

I’ve been gambling since the age of 18 playing pokies at the club, to online poker and lately online races.

All started off with small bets and gradually increased to maxi-bets then big bets on the races.

Long story short, I had a bad relapse in my last 2 sessions (within 3 weeks). I lost over $20k in savings and now $10k in credit debt. It’s so easy to deposit money with a credit card and not realise how much you lost until the gambling session is over.

The last two days I have never felt so guilty in my life! This has been my worst lost in such a short period of time. I can’t even look into my wife’s eyes as I’m ashamed for what I did. I haven’t eaten, been on the couch so depressed and just angry at everyone.

After reading everyone’s post and stories, I decided to call the gambling hotline number. I was hesitant to call but decided to give it a go. I’m glad I did make that call because I was holding everything in and just needed to let it all out.

I know it only been 3 days since I last gambled but it’s the start to recovery. I’ve self excluded in every online app, deleted all gambling apps on my phone (free pokie machine apps) and trying to get my finances sorted out. Knowing there is support out these has made life a little easier.

Fingers cross that I don’t head the devils path again. Any support/comments would be much appreciated on the road to recovery.

Re: The final straw..

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2019 10:17 pm
by How the F did I get here
Hey there,

Well done for calling the helpline, that in itself is a big step finally admitting how far gone you are and needing help.

I also started playing pokies at 18, and pretty much hooked within 3 months.
Gosh If only We could turn back to that first coin drop, aahh inserting a one dollar coin if only that's where it ended.
There's a lot of people on here also that started at 18.

Seriously if you have anymore credit cards cancel them or get your wife to hold them (assuming she is in the know) or someone else. You don't want to rack up anymore credit debt. I'm not sure how far back in you are, but if you are experiencing the urge to get back what you have recently lost then turn over all control of money to your wife.

There is a lot of support here. I find that reading posts helps me big time. Just reading so many stories so similar to mine, makes me stronger.
It's so hard, so bloody hard. Just be strong and if you slip up, reset each day and start again, don't give up.
If you slip up start again the next day to go gamble free, no matter how many times you slip up start each new day with the intention of giving up for good.

All the best, be strong and tight for it.
You can do it!

Re: The final straw..

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2019 2:43 am
by Unknown1
Thanks for the encouraging words.

I know I can do this because I can’t afford another slip up.. it will set me to far back and won’t allow me to have any buffer money..

At the moment, I got $10k+ on my credit card.. most of it is cash advancements and will be racking up the interest.. before this relapse, I was good at repayments and keeping on top of it. What I’ve done was apply for a balance transfer to minimise the interest and give me some financial breathing space.. I’ve 26 months with 0% interest to pay off $10k. Once I get this card I’m cutting it up straight away.

I got most preventative in place in case I’ve another relapse.. I just need to be strong, fight the urges and have a positive mindset in not go gamble.

Re: The final straw..

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2019 7:58 am
by How the F did I get here
Okay sounds like you have a plan.
But don't stray from your word of cutting up that credit card once you get the balance transfer.

I made the mistake a few years back of getting a few balance transfers and not cutting up the cards that got cleared. I then over a year and a half I think it was buckled down and managed to pay all the credit off.
I had 25k in available credit just sitting there, which as I was gamble free and doing well for a few years thought I'll just keep all my cards in case of medical or whatever emergencies.
Didn't think anything of it, well you know what happened next!
The whole lot went!!

Re: The final straw..

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2019 9:40 am
by Unknown1
I hope you recovered from that lost.. I know what that feeling is like having a relapse and losing it all after working so hard to save..

I made sure that the credit credit won’t accept any online gaming deposit and with my current credit card I’ve activated that too..

I know this is going to be hard at the start but as long break the habit and be distracted by other things then I think I be ok.

I’ve thought about going to GA and having face to face meeting but haven’t build the courage to do that yet.. one step at a time..

I hope you’re going good in being gambling free.. it’s such a dark place to be.

Re: The final straw..

Posted: Sat Feb 09, 2019 10:28 pm
by How the F did I get here
Yeah I've done a few GA meetings over the years, not many only about 8.
They are quite good, having so much in common with the people in the room, when you feel no one understand really.
Maybe you should just give it a go just to see if you like it.

I've also done a lot of 1 on 1 counseling over the years, gambling counseling and just with a physchologist.
For me personally the physchologist is the best for me, perhaps because I've had a lot of other issues that I've struggled with growing up aside from the gambling.

Yeah definitely got to keep busy at the start, like I already said you sound like you know what you have to do.
You can do it.

Re: The final straw..

Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2019 12:52 pm
by Calvin (facilitator)
Hello @Unknown1 ,

Good on you for reaching out on the forums and also the helpline.
You've taken a big step which takes a lot of courage to do so.

The forums can be a great support for you through this journey.

Kind regards,