A fresh start!

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Re: A fresh start!

Postby Springhope17 » Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:28 am

Thanks for all the support! 74 days GF.

I can do this! I will do this! I want to be free!
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Re: A fresh start!

Postby Calvin (facilitator) » Mon Jul 02, 2018 1:12 pm

Welldone Springhope17

Sounds like you are really determined in tackling the gambling bug.
Tremendous effort!

Also welldone to all the people who are contributing to the forums and providing insight and support.

Regards,

Calvin
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Re: A fresh start!

Postby Cazza » Sun Jul 01, 2018 9:24 am

Well done Springhope. Hope you are having a lovely GF weekend 😊
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Re: A fresh start!

Postby Springhope17 » Wed Jun 27, 2018 3:51 pm

Thanks again for all the support.

Day 67 GF today! I have had a super busy week so far so haven't had much time at all think!

I have a few counselling appointments next week so hopefully that should help!

Hope everyone is going okay!
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Re: A fresh start!

Postby JinxyWolf » Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:23 pm

Hey Springhope

Yeah my dad was like that, he just didn't understand why I just couldn't stop but in saying that, he has been very supportive of me since I opened up to him about how bad it really was and just how unhappy I was. He didn't have to understand my addiction to be supportive of my decision to quit.

Maybe just explain to them that they don't need them to understand your addiction, all you really need them to do is support you emotionally and give you someone to talk to openly and honestly about what you are feeling.

I'm glad you are trying to work this out together but like you said if he is not taking this serious, you may have to make the hard choice. No one has the right to drag you back into the gambling abyss. You are a very strong, capable person and deserve everything you strive for in this world, so take it, grab it with both hands and don't let go for anyone.

Be Well

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Re: A fresh start!

Postby Springhope17 » Mon Jun 25, 2018 10:05 pm

Thanks for the reply Jinxywolf!

I know you are right!

I do have an amazing cousellor that I have been working with!

And we have just started couples couselloring I want to try everything so atleast I can say I DID MY BEST to work it all out! If he doesn't change I will need to make some tough decisions cos I have wasted enough of my life gambling I dont want to be in this rollercoaster anymore I am done with it! I cant have anyone pulling me back into that world it's a hard enough battle with myself!

I wish I could confide in a friend or family member but they just wouldn't understand. I can imagine my family u just need to stop!! Ha like I know that and I would of said that to myself 1000 times. If only it was this easy!

On the bright side 65days GF and more determined then ever!
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Re: A fresh start!

Postby JinxyWolf » Mon Jun 25, 2018 9:56 pm

Hi Springhope,

We are all responsible for our own addictions, no one else. If your partner also has a gambling addiction that is on his head, not yours. You shouldn't have to carry the burden of his addiction as well as your own. It's hard enough to battle this addiction when it's you own. As hard as it is you have to be selfish on this journey, you have to put yourself first.

I think you really need to think about finding someone else to confide in, whether that is a family member or close friend. Opening up to family or friends about your addiction will give you another avenue of support to lean on when you really need it and you wont have that added pressure of someone who wants to constantly go to the pokies.

Have you thought about going to a concellor together? maybe this will help you both in understanding how to battle this addiction as a united front.

Stay strong and remember you are doing this for yourself, and you deserve to be happy.

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Re: A fresh start!

Postby Springhope17 » Mon Jun 25, 2018 9:09 pm

Thanks for all the support!

Its just what I need! Sometimes I feel like I am so alone in all this like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I am just trying to hold it all together! Trying to recover while still hide my addiction from friends, family and colleagues.

My partner knows about my addiction but he too has a gambling addiction we have been our own worst enemies dragging each other back to the pokies! I use to blame myself and he use to blame me. But its both of us. The thing is as much I try to support him I need to look after myself first! I have been the one out of control with my chasing my losses but he has been there with me most of the time sitting there gambling all my money now nearly $80,000 debts (all in my name of course). I have lied to him in the past about how much I spend saying i only spend $500 but really it was $1500. Or about taking out payday loans to get by to cover rent, electricity, childcare, food.

But even now he will say lets just go to the casino and play $50 or use our points! I'm like NO we have already gave the casino $80000! Let alone all the time and heartache. I just wish I had a support partner who could help me, take control of my finances, support me! But instead I need to deal with my addiction and his cos at this stage he has become more out of control them me! Did I turn him into an addict? Is this more punishment for me due to my past actions.

I know I am rambling but I just needed to get this off my chest.
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Re: A fresh start!

Postby Cazza » Sat Jun 23, 2018 9:49 am

Well done Springhope on 61 days.
I too struggle with the thought of my debt too. I know we aren't supposed to look back and just keep going foward. But like you i just get overwhelming thoughts of how could I have been so stupid for so long and created such a pile of crap for my financial future .

All i can do is pull up my big girl pants and get on with it and keep in mind that I now can work out a budget and actually stick to it. Remember when we used to gamble and we would tell ourselves i will put money away for this and that and yet spend it gambling.
I can now budget my income, some for credit card debt some for mortgage and some for fun.
I think by not gambling for 11 weeks i have not wasted around $6,000 and that is my positive.
Keep going and keep finding your positive Springhope 😊
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Re: A fresh start!

Postby JinxyWolf » Thu Jun 21, 2018 11:56 pm

Hi Springhope,

Congrats on 61 days that's awesome :cool: :cool:

There comes a time on this journey that you have to let go of past mistakes and start looking toward to future you are building. We all have regrets but if you keep banging up against them you'll never get anywhere.

Just keep fighting those urges, talk to your councellor and don't forget you have a lot of support on this forum.

Dig in those heels and when the urges hit, just take a minute, think about how far you've come and what you are truly fighting for, Freedom.

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